Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi

I am married for 14 years and have gone through almost everything and more thats has been disscussed here.I lived in hell till i was with my in-laws.We are out of india now but wheres the peace?last time when i visited them----my MIL told me to have another baby ( i already have 2 kids and dont plan to have another )and give it to my sis-in-law ( yes guys u read it right, i too was shocked ) who is a divorcee --- with out any issue.At this point of time she doest not want to get married.Right from day one she behaved very badly with me.We stayed under the same roof for 8 years and she would never talk to me ( even now we are not in talking terms with each other)What surprises me most is my mil's attitude , she says all sis-in laws are like this they cant get alone with each other, thats a totaly different issue altogeather-- but i must have a baby for my sis-in-law.I refused saying that to give away a child someone needs a very big heart which i dont have.There is so much of jealously here.And i really dont know how to behave with them.I tried keeping up with them for 8 years but now even though i meet them just once in a while its very difficult.My Mil's attitude is that her son and his childern are hers but i am an outsider and will remain so.And there are 2 differnt sets of rules for her daughter and me.Anyways now atleast the everyday fights are not there but there is always an annual one .I think it will never end.hey guys tell me what i should do to avoid this ?and u think giving ur baby to sis-in-law (specially the one who hates u )is quite a lot to expect from u? AV replied. Hi Sneha

Dont ever think about it i agree with all those frtiends who have suggested you. Its a very very selfish world. Our baby is ours only. Not a thing that can be given off. Your MIL is totally silly. She neednt even think about it. Moreover if your two gals are not at all on talking terms. What face does she have to ask you to do this for her daughter? Mothers are like that only as far as theri daughters are concerned. If your are an outsider how come she is taking an obligation from you? No self respect? or Selfish to the power of infinity.
anyway i hope you dont get emotional in all this type of drama. Its not worth it. Nobody is worth you if they cant pay heed to your tears.

Anyway take care and be strong.

Bye
AV Friend replied. Hi SD -

Your children are yours and your husbands, not your in-laws or SIL or anyone else. My in-laws have asked me and told me on numerous occasions to give them my son after I had him. They knew full well that I have dreamt of having a child and this is what I wanted the most in life and they wanted my son and told me to have another one for me. I said no, he is my child how can you ever expect me to give him up. Would you give your child was my question to my MIL.

Your MIL is out of line to make such a request and you need to tell your MIL that you will not do it under any circumstances and you have no intention of any more children and even if you do later on change your mind, that child is your child and so are your current children. Keep saying it to her whether she likes it or not, she will one day, god willing,get the point.

Get some adoption information for your MIL and SIL. Tell them that she should get married and have a child on her own otherwise look into adoption, those her two choices.

Good luck!! friend replied. Don't ever think about give birth to a baby and handing over to somebody.

If she want to take care of a baby, there are so many orphanage in the country. More over a person who couldnot cope up with their life partner cannot have a patient to take care of a baby. The result of that will increase the fight between the family members.

Hope now U might have decided what to do?

Bye. take care