Hetal, please reply me. Madhu replied. Hetal, you are right i have to accept my present.i understood what you said about making my home a workplace and concentrating on my family.
your words were inspiring.you are right this is my test and i have to prove myself.i have no complaints for my husband.he is gentleman.i am marwadi and there are few good boys available in my community.so i wud say that it was worth giving up my career.i have got a wonderful baby and my inlaws are saying i am very lucky to have such a healthy baby. i felt sorry for thinking about myself all the time.it is difficult to get such loving inlaws in our community.
tis just that i will always feel that i did not get a chance to work.
i have no more complaints now. daisy replied. sorry this is none of my business but cdnt resist as i hv been thru same phase, today kid is 7 yrs. I hv cried and sufferred a lot can never forget that time.
when u had posted ur msg i remember someone heartfelt abt u (don remember name) and replied u bfr hetal. So soothing, Why dint i get ppl like her and hetal when i needed. Bt u hd replied her very bluntly and u waited only for hetal's reply. May be u dint need her, bt just respect ppl who feel for u, as they are very few in this world and only lucky ppl like u get them.
Baki tumhari marzi. Hetal replied. madhu,
i wanted to reply you earlier, but couldnt finish your messg in one sittng and the boards are so alive,,i sometimes dont go back to old mesgs.neways,,thanks for reminder and sry to keep you waitng..,

now about ur probs,,worries..

delivery deprsn stays practically speaking until mother is out of her own mental loops..thats the mental part of it and physically a mother with delivery without complication is expectd to be back on track by 3-4months,,which means its when mother felt that they are having a smooth time and a good healthy body to cope up with things around.in some cases,,its as early as 2-3months..
you can give your baby bottle bt try to latch him most of the times,,the rest like when you are badly tired,,offer him formula,,no worries...make sure to continue your milk supply and that formula or bottle doesnt replace bm or your breast,,or use a good breastpump to continue bm supply..i would strongly recmnd you to bf,,even though tiring it sounds..remember onething, nothing can replace the qualities of bm and now that you are mother,,you have to give watever you can from your side..thn leave it to nature... tommrow if at all your baby grows up and you see the major diff in his growth,,,which might b even because of his own milestone achving capacity(iirespective of being bf or bottlefed or bm or formula),,you should not feel guilty that if you would have breastfeed, your baby might have excel well !! this feeling often haunts and makes a mothers life miserable,,so m warning you now itself..also note that M NOT telling you that formula babies dont excel well, but what m telling you is bm has its qualities and replacing it JUST BECAUSE it frustrates you or you were not ready to be a mother,,is NO GOOD..what has that little ones' life to do with your wishes,,after all that life was a part of your body so now its upto you to rear it!

you should be proud that you are gven a chance to give a birth to baby,,and rear it,,many mothers keep trying to concve !!! and i must say with all you have gone thru, you have done a good job of maintng your health even though it was not your wish or acceptance to the things hapnd to you...

while i was going thru your mesg, i very well understood that you had a diff dream for yourself, but can i ask you one question,,if you were so good in estimating things,,you should have calculated things like marriage, pregnancy, baby or husband when you set your dreams ! i know it was too early for you to understand,,but when it was hapning around you, you should be able to mould yourself in ongoing situations,,irrespective of wat your personal sentiments are..because after all this, you are happy for the fact that you got a loving,caring husband, parents and a wonderful family and now a beautiful child..if you are not happy,,then complain that it was not worth sacrifcing your career for such a wonderful bunch of people around you ! reply me,,was it worth ? just reply me this and you know what you will do next !
so at first, i see that your complain is not because you are not happy with people around you,,but your complaint is you DONT WANT to be happy with them or let me say that you are still not accepting the current situations and you are lving in past !! and thererfore the problem is with you and not with them or even the time..
time flies dearrr,it waits for none,,,its upto you to groom yourself in a way, that you can fly along with it !! groom it,njoy it or just lose it,,,its all upto you !

how and all you know it better,, your life is now because of the thinking that is haunting you,,it will never allow you to accept the current situations,,,so now you repair yourself first...

now that you couldnt get a chance to bond with your dh or your baby,,there is never so late to start taking initiatives..your baby will feed and sleep until he is 6months,,so you have a full 5months to spend time with your dh...whenever baby sleeps,, other than that,,once your baby is 3months, you will be able to regain your sex life,,so start making your moves...
just walk to him and sit..if talking upfront bothers you..once you sit, he will ask did baby sleep,,etc,,right,,or even if he doesnt ask,,just ask him how is he,,ask him what he would like to eat,,or just offer him glass of water after he is back from office.....atleast some talk will start..
be frank to whatever you feel but with lots of love,and warmth... if you feel like crying just reach him and share with him that you need his help to get you out of this mental trauma,,,..make him the part of your worries,if your worries are bothering you so much...
make a bond that way..and with such a humble and patient husband,,things will be easier for you ! if you believe in the things that you wrote to me \" he is gentleman,cares and comfortable and all\" ,,,all you have to do is just open up yourself to him ! if he is one of what you mentioned,,you will have to do nothin except sharing and talking with him...watch some good movie at home that is romantic,or friendly or just a crazy comedy which you cant avoid to laugh,,make it a together thing,,cook something delicious and while eating ask him how it was and how he would like his food to be..the way to men heart is his stomach,,worth a try ! if he is watching tv,,just go and sit,,ask him whats coming in tv,,and start the talk..
about his being busy during ur pregnancy,,well,its quite natural for husbands to start concentrating on thr job as soon as they hear they are going to be fathers,,because now they have one more imp person in thr lives to take care of,,and his future,,and that he is going to have a family...and believe me most fathers start excel in thr job life only after they heard the news that they are having a baby,,it pressrzes them to a level that they end up overcoming expectations in thr job as thr mind is at work contnsly and in that they might tend to forget about you.....so its obvious that even if they dont want to make us feel lonely,,it just happens because its out of thr own control..so forget about it,,it wasnt in his control,,so he couldnt do it,,expecting for it and crying is useless..
about your mil,,she is gone now,,and now its upto you to make a good stong bond with your dh,,and which m sure you will do it because,,if you are intelligent enough to crack the campus interviews,get grades A,,i think you have enough talent to put yourself to a test which is right before you..handle it in your way !
what happend in past was what you thought was right,,but it didnt work out the way you thought it would..so now plan your dreams,,,predict them in a way that you calculate proper risk factors so that you dont endup being miserable like you arre feeling right now ! it was a lesson you learnt..
and now you will be dealing with real people like your husband and a newborn baby who is looking upon you for everything and believe me to deal with baby & husband is tough thn dealing with outside people at job...and consider your family as your work place,,just that environment is diff,,,make your husband your best colleague and let your baby be your profit/returns or results of your efforts..after all they are your people,,dealing with thr sentiments,wishes,grooming them,,will be hard and challenging.,,much more than takng care of responsiblits at work !!
so now you know what to do now,,,just help yourself...
take care,a very good luck to you for your life ahead..