The day before i delivered my son, my dad met with a serious accident. I delivered the next day in great pain (both physical and emotional)inspite of practising breathing exercises and doing all the right things during my pregnancy.
it was a normal delivery.
I delivered in a small maternity home of great reputation ( of 25 years). My baby was only 6 pounds, bu healthy otherwise. After my delivery in the afternoon, no one brought the baby to me in the evening for breatfeeding.
I consulted the doctor the next day on her rounds. She told me that milk will come only after 3 days. Even the midwives and nurses on duty said the same thing.
One of them tried putting my baby to my breast ( it was so painful i screamed), but he wudnt suck. My breats felt dry to me.
All this while, my son was fed on formula milk using bottle at the hospital.
I left the hospital after 2 days instead of staying there for the normal 10 days.

I started breastfeeding at home on the 3rd day.
But the milk was never enough for my baby. I had to use bottle for him ever since

Where did i go wrong? Was it my shock and trauma which hampered my milk supply?

i was eating very well and was taking all kinds of native stuff given in indian households to enhance milk production.

I consulted a pediatrician who asked me to stop bottle immediately, but try as i might, i cud never fulfill my baby at my breast. He wudnt setlle until i gave him formula feed.

I went thru hell with my inlaws accusing my mother and me of telling lies. They were very upset with me for giving him bottle. they absolutely refused to believe anything.

with the situation i went thru with my father's condition and my state, its a wonder how i braved thru it all.

i also feel i was undergoing mild Post natal depression. i felt helpless and alone. I never felt connected to my baby in the inital months.

please advice me roopa replied. Amrita
Now thats the beauty of this message board. One can post her feelings, not just the problem, pat comes a reply from an expert like Hetal, and we friends are their to support you.

I can very well undstd what u hv been thru.

I too hv passed thru such a trauma ... the difference being .. it happened post delivery ... and moreover the person who met with \" accident\" did not survive. Hospitalization .... operation ... moving from one hospital to other ... the tension ... wait & watch times ... just imagine.

And that too with someone who has visited my place to see my new born baby.

But i took some bold steps and was successful in not only restoring my breastmilk supply, but also keeping the baby and myself healthy (touchwood). My baby's birthwt was 3.3 kg and now she is 6+ kgs at 4months.

I learnt some lessons, and wd like to share them with u -

All is well when end is well -
Think positive. You have left the trauma back. Today the baby and you are fine. So many mothers dont have any milk. So many mothers feed formula though they have bm .... atleast your baby got some of it.


Elders are not always right -
My first kid also got less milk from me. Reason? First time mother is an inexperienced mother. Whenever the baby cried, all the elders would shout - short milk supply, baby is hungry, your breast pores are not fine, etc etc.
Talk to your doctor, she will say u r fine, just get out of the trauma.

My first kid is a healthy and happy child today (touchwood). I fed her with whatever bm i ahd for 4 months only.
Today she is 4+ yrs and her Breastfed friends fall more sick than her.

Kuch nahi hota. Dont worry.

Elders also talk about not giving bottle. You know what? They only know how to tell problems, but dont provide solutions. I dont say they are wrong, but if they are SO experienced and should also provide a CONVENIENT solution.

What shd the mother do if not give Bottle? Keep the baby hungry and crying? And spoil her own health too? huh.

The answer is this - long term solution: try and restore your bm supply. Short term solution: give bottle and rest - both of u.

I have done that and been successful. Today my 4m+ baby (second baby) is on daal/rice etc (when i am in office) and breastmilk when i m home. I hv bottle fed her during the trauma days.

Self Trust and confidence -
THIS PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE. When i was passing the trauma, i always told myself - tht i m getting enough milk and i will continue to get it. Nothing will hamper it. And thats what happened!

Divert yourself -
I arranged for a TV in my room. I knew watching it was harmful for me, but i used it to divert my thoughts. If not TV, i used to think of anything else but not those bad moments. If the thoughts are still troubling you, start diverting yourself. Enjoy Your baby.
Go to parlor to pamper yourslf. Do some shopping. Read light books.

A Mother knows best for the baby. Do what u feel is right, and take suggestions from mother/doctor if u hv Qs. But ONLY Listen to rest people and ignore it!

Dont feel Guilty -
A mother always does best possible for the baby. Do that and leave it to God. Do not feel guilty. You hv tried your best.
\" Being a mother\" is not defined by just feeding bm to the baby, its much much more than that, and you are doing it well.

Talk to your doctor/paediatrician -
Tell the Dr what u hv been thru and that u need mental support as well. I had told my doctor that i might start visiting her more thinking baby is unwell though it may not be. I said i m not in a mental position to judge so pls bear with me.
The doc supported me well.

Post delivery trauma -
Yes, it happens with all.
The time has passed, dear. B positive, thank god and get your gears back in action.

Thats all my friend. Dont be sad, we are with you.
And yes .. would like to tell you about the person who passed away after my delivery.
It was my Mother. She visited my city to see the baby, and collapsed with brain haemorrhage just one day before she was going back home.
I took her to hospital myself in the car, with the breastfeed-dependent baby in my MILs hands on the backseat, hubby in office.

I made my MIL and baby sit in a room in hospital. I would feed the baby whenever possible and run in hospital for errands. 5 days later she passed away.

The trauma started afftecting my milk supply. I had to start bottle feed. Another reason for bottle feed was that i had to leave baby with maid and go out for rituals etc.

When things settled, i restored my bm.

It happens.
So cheer up. Thank God that your father is with you :)

Roopa Hetal replied. http(:)//www(.)indiaparenting(.)com/boards/showmessage(.)cgi?messageid=1222&table_name=dis_breastfeeding

read above all the cases of milk supply low,,also go thru the prev messages of milk supply low and you will know the factrs associated with it..

you had been thru a tough time, i must say,its difficult for a womn to come accross all ths things in times of last days,,when the things at herself are unexpected and needs dependncy..

you didnt go wrong ne where,,what you dr and midwives suggsted was acc to what we call post delivery trauma,,and esp with the cases wherein the delivery has happned due to csection,,delivery due to stress(like in your case you were stressed out physically,mnetallly and you delivered),,
all this has a lot to do with milksupply and ontime milk prod..
whnever the delivery happens, on time,,it happns that after a couple hours mother starts getting milk,,,which happens because body knows on time,,but before time,whenver it happens, it takes a while for your body to start producing what your baby needs...which is expected by 2-3days,,,
so its pretty much obvious of no matter how healthy the mothers body was,,,unless she is out of stress and physical/emotional dpression,,nothin can help her to produce good milk supply !
relax yourself,keep some good music and listen to it,,there are sometimes when after trying your might,,you have just let the things come to you,,so if i were you,i would hope that..
after a normal delivery as well,many mothers have expernced milk supply low in initial month,,because it has a lot to do with how good baby was in sucking,,,and in your case, since begning itself being introduced to bottle, your baby never got a chance to drink good qty from your breast...
start latching your baby, and try to avoid giving him bottle,,,always keep trying,,and if still it doesnt work,,consult a good lactation consulatnat,,,they will help you latch on,,with diff seatings...

amrita,i must say, with all the things going around you,,the only thing i can advice you is to stay relaxed,,,rightnow your baby is imp to you,,and none other,,you have to understand that no matter how bad the situation around you go worst,,your main aim should be \" i want to keep trying bf \" ,,bm has its benefits,,and if at all you have had a wonderful healthy pregnancy,,,there is possibilty that your milk supply will go up !! jst that your body needs to settle down at rest...
also, try pumping the milk at regularintervals,,get a good breast pump, and keep pumping every 2-3hours,,its abit taxing but if the baby sucking is the prob, with you,,your milk supply will start slowly,,and come to a point that you might have a feeling full in your breast,,which will later on help you to latch your baby well..your baby is not latching because she didnt get milk from breast,,so considering that,,the first thing after relaxing yourself,,you have to do is,,start pumping,,,see if that boost your milk production and thn you can try latching again..upto 4months you have time to latch your baby again to breast,,and if regular pumping is done with a good breastpump,,your milk supply is likely to boost in matter of 1month or so...
also, stressfress,,healthy diet, lots of freshly cooked vegies,fruits,,3times a day serving of dairy,,and all the other tips that are mentioned in the above links should help you...
and still if it doesnt,,never feel bad about it,,you have tried your best,,and whatever was in your control !! the rest,,its not in your hands,,sometimes the things just dont get right even though we keep fighting for it,,,so the wise thing to do is forget about it,,and njoy the current time with your lil baby..why feel sorry for something that is not in your control !! you tried your best right...

your baby looks upon you for everything,,and there is alot to do with your lil one when it comes to bonding,,talk to him,,love him, cuddle him,,,there are so many babies who are on formula,,and that your baby is just one of them !!
breastfeeding has nothin to do with bonding..feel lucky that you wont be facing problems like weaning in later stage,,where mother and child has to go thru alot of crying and feeling of seperation...or baby not taking formula,,and finally results in weight loss of baby....be happy that you will not go thru that phase in future,if at all, after trying your best,,you are unable to bf...

and the good thing is you have beeen thru tough times and that you should be happy that your delivery went smooth, and your baby is healthy baby,,without ne other complications involved,,,i have seen many mothers delivering such babies with distress,,,you are lucky your baby is not in distress...be happy about it...

take care, sometimes its better to make yourself happy with all good things around you,,thn feeling sad about a thing that is not in your control !!

hope you have a very sweet time with your lil one..