Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

i have been married since 2 yrs now, there were misunderstandings b/w me and my hubby ours was an arranged marriage. My hubby whenever he says negative about either my parents or my sibbling i get very angry on him and i argue with him as a result of which my hubby in turn gets angry on me, whereas i m not supposed to speak negative or bad about his family no matter what they do....... do all indian ladies keep quite when their hubby speaks like this......... should i also keep quite and listen to whatever he tells ss replied. thanks to xyz and fairy xyz replied. I can understand how u feel. theres no point in the fact that the rules are different fo rmen and women in hte indian society. when a girl gets married she is expected to be an addition to the grooms family and a part of it, her in laws family is her new family and so on. all this is fine. what is bugging is she is expected to completely \";forget\"; that she has parents or sibling. that she has become \"; parayi\"; and so on. the bride has only one family now, her husband and her in laws. the groom on the other hand remains a guest in his in-laws place.why cant both, the bride and the groom have two families and have equal respect for parents on both sides.
ss, i can undrestand ur agony. well theres no point in ur talking bad about anyone on ur in-laws side, u may have to regret that later.
but what u can do is when ur husband starts abusing ur parents or ur siblings, jus tell him point blank that u dont want to listen to anything negative about them. if still he doesnt stop, jus move out of the room. i have tried it out. it works.theres no point in taking up a comparison betweeen what is fair for him and what is fair for u. it will make matters worse. fairy replied. First and the foremost dont consider both yr families as 'your' family and 'my' family. They are now 'our family'. Learn to accept both of your families. Look forward to thinking about your family life ie enjoy your life as a couple. Love each other more than anything else and stop wasting time in criticizing each others' families.