Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi there,

This is a breif description of myself:
I am a reserved and shy person. I have been like that since I was small. Now I am facing difficulties due to that. I am married now and i have a 2yr old daughter. I am afraid that my daughter should not face any problem due to that.
i like her to be outgoing. I am not working and feel guilty when I see other working moms. I get scared to talk in the public. And whenever we host parties at our place, i am not able to be the main person as I wish to be. I feel I am dominated by others. When I go to other people house, they play a main role and I am just a guest.I don't understand if it is problem with my personality or something wrong with the other people I know? So how to deal with these feelings, so that I feel confident in my life?

good guy replied.
u r wrong mrs.shyla..i cleary understood from ur reply to nina what's wrong with u.. hope u can understand that too.. its not \";personality problem\";.. looks like its ur \";mentality problem\"; .. better start working from that side.. good luck Nina replied. Hello again Shyla,
I just wanted to say that I was not saying you are unsocial, it's just that smiling is a good thing to do...I'm sure you understand...

Making friends isn't always easy when a person is shy.

You should not feel guilty when you see other working Moms. You should feel proud that you are taking this precious time to be at home with your daughter.

People are people no matter how fluently they speak, no matter how expensive their clothes. Try to understand that there are a lot of materialistic folks and they should be taken with a grain of salt.

Find a topic to discussion and go with it...when your friends are over or you are at their place, just take a deep breath and start up a conversation. Talk about your child, you will never run out of things to say in that area.

Speak in whichever way makes you comfortable...just be yourself and you cannot go wrong there.



That is all I can say in that regards.

I wanted to extend some positive words to you since I can partially relate to your situation, I guess I wasn't clear and to the point as you needed me to be.

Best of Wishes,
Nina Nina replied. Hello Good Friend,
I'm also a shy person. I've also been shy since I was a little girl. Only difference in me back then is I was so painfully shy I'd cry if someone looked at me too hard.

Being shy has so many disadvantages... I'm a stay at home mom and I'm finding that now that my girl is going to start school soon, I will be forced into having better speaking skills outside of the home.

For me, I have been doing better; and, for me, I found that I am starting to make friends on a one on one person basis and that helps out. Making a move in front of a lot of people frightens me.

My girl is on the other hand friendly, outgoing, very talkative. I am so happy that she isn't like me.

What I have also found that works for me is finding a few other Moms that also stay home and are not as shy as me, friendly and down to earth.

I truly wish I had an outgoing personality.

What you can do immediately is smile at people when spoken to; I mean, give a pleasant response. Sometimes, shy people tend to give the impression of being \";mean\"; since they often are nervous and don't speak often.

Take opportunities to meet other Moms that are in the same situation you're in; at home.

I live in the U.S. and I find every other Mom here is working outside the home; but, there are a lot of great places to meet other Moms.

good luck,
Nina