Relationships  Discussion Forum

iam married ,have 2 kids ,1yr back we moved to US temperorily,my son is in 3rd grade.when he was in india ,he was good at studies but after coming here he is below average and is not able to cope up with high english n math,he couldnt fare well in eog's and got retained in same class.now the prob is my husband started cursing me ,throwing blame on me saying that it is my FAILURE b'coz i help mostly in his studies,he cannot b'coz his work doesnt permit him.iam a housewife though iam a graduate ,while telling my son about his retention in the same class my husband many times used a word not to become like begger,and should come to him ask if he has any doubts in his studies,he also said that my son should ask the one who can really help with that ,not others .i very well know that all this are indirectly told to me,b'coz we have lot of differences from the beginning which lead him to say all this to my kid indirectlyabout me.ican understand that my husband was upset about this but,is it not unfair to tell about me or is it ok?iam so upset ,the kid never listen to me ,he takes everything very light ,how can i tell my son to study,and help him to improve his grades,and also if we go back to india can any school take him to 4th grade with an admission test,not depending on his previous class record.help me plz! saheli replied. Hi Priya,
I don't think you should get worked up about your son not performing. you should understand that at that age its a big change for your son too. He has to go through a culture shock. He has to get used to the language and the method of teaching here.
There is no point in putting unnecessary pressure on him. He will loathe studies if you or your husband keep pestering him. Try to do some kinds of activities with him to teach him. There are so many kids workbooks, toys and computer activities that will make learning a pleasure experience for him. There is no big deal that he is retained in the same class. If he is not able to cope up it is better that he is retained in smaller classes than higher classes.
He needs to get used to the place, school and teachers. Its a big change for a child. If possible put him in some kind of activity like swimming, gym or music etc so that he gets used to the place. And once he is comfortable then slowly approach him with the subject of studies.
As far your husband is concerned you can't do anything but ignore him. He is being a jerk and if you fight with him its not going to lead anywhere.
Try to motivate your child and show your husband by example that what you can accomplish. Try to find and invent some activities to teach him.
You can teach him fractions by showing pizza or cutting paper etc. Once he is motivated, he will learn.
I know its hard because of your husband's negative attitude, your son may not pay attention. But you are his mommy and he will always love you.
Good luck!!
Just tell your husband that its your joint responsibility to educate your son and if he does'nt have time then just leave everything to u.
Bye
Saheli