Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I want to build good relation with my SIL. I dont mean that i have a bad relation right now. But, the only thing i didnot like in my SIL is her involvement in each & everything. She wants to know even a small thing that happens between me & my husband. She is very affectionate to her brother but at the same time, she is very commanding. Even she wants to know our financial status. The first year of our marriage, i spend time just noticing all this. But after 1 year, i started expressing my feelings towards his Sis. My hubby was taking her suggestion in buying a home but he didnot even asked my opinion. If she suggests some house, he will not think anymore. He will simply say yes. This is just an example. This is the case in every issue. Initially, we had cold war b/w me & my hubby, later he realized that its not same like as when he was batchelor. Now, my hubby slowly, decreased involiving his Sis in our personal matters. She realized that her brother is not involving her in his issues. Now, she started saying sentimental things (My hubby is also very much attached to her....that he will not think whether his sis is right or wrong....but somehow, i am able to change him, now he is understanding me) that u buy house wherever u want but save money. We dont involve. Thats what you want. I did so much to you. You dont care me now. What all i want is your well being. All this will impress my hubby & he will start thinking that i broke their relation. He will act stupid at these times. Becos of this, i will get negative impression on my SIL. I want to have good relation with them. Please suggest me, how can i manage so that she will not involve in our personal matters anymore and at the same time, she should realize that this is not her family to involve in every thing. I want my hubby not to talk to her when he is alone (on phone). Becos, she will say sentimental things only when he is alone. She is a super actor which my hubby is unaware of. I just want my hubby not to be too sentimental with her. But i am ready to do everything what i should do to a SIL. Please guide me. ab replied. hello
i too am facing similar problem but with my mother in law and sister in laws. i have 2 SILs.
i dont know how to deal.
my hubby is too much into them. he cant stand me talking anything about them.
it is just 8 months for our marriage. i feel terrible dont know how to face this situation. please help me.
i have no one to advice me.
i am just 21 and feel naive about all this.
my hubby is a good person but when it comes to their emotional dramas he does what ever they say. i have no say in any thing at all. at times i wonder why i married this person.
i feel depressed all the time.
please help. silpa replied. Start counter attack.. Whenever she asks you about your personal matters -- You too dig her up with same kind of questions with a beautiful smile on your face and if she tries to involve in your family matters --start interfering in their family matters.
This will shut her mouth
Remember onething: don’t let your hubby know this but do it when you are alone with your sil

Good Luck
Nina replied. Hello Chinni,
Having a sil that is overly involved with her brother's life when he's married is surely an obstacle.

A good suggestion in building your relationship with her as a sil is to try to find some time for just the two of you to spend time together, maybe away from the home...

It will not be totally easy just coming out and saying \";mind your own business\";...that is something in which you don't want to say...

however, you can express you feelings about how you enjoy the things that come to making decisions with you husband...

something like...
\";You have given some good advice to your brother with__ in the past, I guess you and I both have good ideas, don't we?...now that your brother and I are married, we're learning each other's likes and dislikes\";...

Leave it open...
be careful not to accuse, she will only run to your brother and sulk or lie about what you said to her.

Sometimes sisters are quite funny about their brothers...sometimes they can be too overly protective, they mean to do well, but, they go too far sometimes.

Is your sil elder to your husband?

I just suggest you choose your words carefully to avoid misunderstandings greater than what has already happened in the past.

Good luck!