Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi There,

I must have spend half my morning reading just about every post in this thread. I was soooo horrified at some of the things you women have put up with. Absolutely shocked! Part of me admires the way you sit quitely and meekly infront of these 'evil in-laws' and part of me wants to grab you by the shoulders and say WHAT THE???

I am not judging any of you. I think some have gone through appaulig situations. I am still concerned about the women who posted that her busband beat her at his mothers request. How do you find the couage to put up with this harrassment? How do you bite your tongue?

I know some have made little stands against the in-laws and had a bit of revenge but on the whole everyone is suffering silently... Sure enough you post here and get some advise, speak with people who are in similar situations and have a chance to vent but what about afterwards? Has anyone here posted a problem and after getting advise, confronted their in-laws?

I used to have nasty in-laws but I always made an attempt to correct the situation. If my MIL said bad things I would bring it up over saying I wanted to clear the air and bring out the truth. I don't deny they absolutely hated it but I just couldn't sit on my hands and say nothing. They expected this that and the other and yet they did nothing for my hubby and I. At birthdays and christmas they would say buy this or that for us and the SIL's and these would be very expensive items and they in turn would buy a group gife for hubby and I that cost $20.

When I had children they would call my friends and family saying of she doesnt know what she is doing. My MIL had this problem with breast-feeding thinking it didnt offer enough for baby and she actually went to my doc to speak with him about it. They'd visit their daughers everday and see their grand kids and we lived even closer then they did but they didnt visit us. All they did was complain I didn't let them see enough of the children. It was lots of stupid things like this.

There were times my hubby hit me and no way was I going to tolerate it. I hit him back and to be honest I grew up with 3 brothers so i knew how to fight back. My in-laws though it was ok for me to be black and blue and have to stay home from work but it was a travesty that I'd hit hubby back. Now if someone even suggested touching their girls they would have the police there. When my kids had birthday parties they would pick up the table and chairs and move away from everyone and openly say infront of everyone \";we don't like your family\";... How bloody rude!

My hubby died not too long before my daughter was born and I remained single with 2 kids and after 1.5 years I met my new husband. He is the most magnificent person in the world. I often look at the relationship and think yes this is what dreams are made of. My old in-laws now go around saying I was cheating on my previous hubby when he was alive etc. Its such crap. They even tell people my new hubby is an illegal immegrant and that our marriage was so he could stay in australia, despite the fact he had permenant residency before we met. Argh it pisses me off.

Anyway I am still sitting with people saying no this is the real facts, and I will see my old MIL and ask why she says these things and let her know I have gone and corrected her lies. I almost enjoy making a fool of her, actually I take a perverse delight in it. Why do people have to make up stories and lies about people? Hey I don't mind if someone wants to talk badly about me if it is the truth but lies are just pathetic.

What I wonder is why don't most of you stand up for yourself? It doesnt have to be confrontational it can be so simple. I used to say things like \";oh guess what i heard from such and such\"; and then i would go into the truth. Or I would say \";why did you say this when you know that was the truth\"; and I would make out like they must have confued the facts rather than gone out of their way to be spiteful. Yes they squirmed but had they been honest they need'nt have felt so bad. Be strong girls we are not doormats for anyone to walk over!

I am yet to meet my new husbands parents. They are opposed to him and I marrying and we're expecting a baby n 6 months time. I guess they too will have their own issues and personalities. They hate the fact he married a christian white girl... Beware the white devil sort of thing. I would like if we all could get along but I accept their decision. I have made up my mind that should we meet I will be respectful and kind but I will not and never will be a door mat to anyone... Its MY life and noone but I can make it unhappy Tracy035 replied. Well I am a newlywed of 3 weeks...I haven't met the parents and I am not looking forward to it either. I think my husband is trying to keep the 2 worlds apart...I am a Christian White girls (You know the ones not good enough). I have no clue as to what to expect or as what to do if I ever meet them. I know I will be respectful as long as they are to me. They call him constantly making him feel guilty. I do know that I am going to keep my independence and my identity. I feel like I have to be on the lookout for these people. I have been in relationships with white boys who hit me and after that I said never again. I will not let any other man put a hand on me in my life. I will love my husband and cherish him but I will not take anything from him or his parents. I am a person no matter what my skin color.. Anyway enough rambling from me... cd replied. I dont understand when you say that parents dont support you!

Are you les than 20?? are you less capable than your husband? what??

Why do girls in india so easily assume they cannot make a living? Thats because you have never tried. I detest dependance. Thats what society norms in India teach you. Its ridculous.

Tecah the boy to be dependant on his aprents, for the girl on her husband, the parents on the boy...why cant everyone have a life of their own?? courage replied. hey..it was good to read your message..some how i am also suffering, but not too bad extent, i don't have that courage what you have...more over , i don't have very good job, i feel what if my husband leaves me for my actions??..we indian girls (most of them) have this problem..believe me we don't get much support from our family too..since our parents afraid of society,dignity etc..etc.. Anon replied. I wish more women would stand up for themselves. My husband hit me once and I called the police on him and he has never dared to try anything like that. Infact, during the delivery of my first born my MIL and SIL were devils and I called the Postnatal depression centre and told a counsellor my situation and that I was sinking into depression due to that. The same evening a social worker came home and warned them. Due to these actions they have learnt not to mess with me. And I am not even a white girl I am indian living in the U.S. Ladies stand up for yourself coz no one else will!