Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends.I am married since last 4 years. My hisband is googd but does not like spending money. Everytime he calculates the money spent on walmart, mall etc. I dont earn. Sometimes I get irritated. WhenI want to send something to my sister, nephe, parents he says There is no need. I am in dilemma. Should I buy presents and not tell him. But i will feel that I deiceived him My mind wont accept that i am sending something without telling him, And he wont allow me to but anything. My parents doesnt need anything. They say if he doesnt want u to send anything thaen dont send. But it makes me cry and angry at the same time./ Dont we have right to spend something on our parents

I am crying while typing this. Please give me some advise worse than yours replied. All of you suggested suggested priya to work. I am working and i am still facing the same problem. I don't even want so send some gifts. I am even restricted to how frequent i can talk to my parents and my family. On the other hand, my husband talks to his parents and sister on every alternative day.

He gets too angry. If i try to explain to him he will just pierce me with his curses which will last for atleast an hour. Being a well educated and a working woman, and having so many relatives in my side, my life still goes in crying. I have to do all the household works, shall not question any of his actions!

Is this fair?! Still he is considered to be a good man - just for the simple reason that he doesn't drink, smoke or have any affairs.

I don't know why i am married. Did i struggle so much in my youth just for getting this life? What mistake did i do to deserve this? I atleast want to have a peaceful life, otherwise why should i live? LA replied. First, can u afford to send presents? If you can't really afford it then you don't need to send to his family or yours or even buy for yourself.

If you can afford, tell him that you are buying for your family whether he likes it or not and then do it. You won't feel guilty for lying or deceiving him but you are doing what is fair.

In a marriage, even if he is the only one with an income, the money, house, property and expenses etc etc are shared. Whether anyone likes it or not - at least here in america.

Good luck.

You should be nice about it and talk but make it clear he shouldnt have the final say. I don't know why you think he does or that you say that he doesn't allow you to spend. He is not your parents and you are not a child. He can only say his opinion, you allow yourself to follow his orders or not. Check replied. Ok, so he watches the money. Why can't you living in this country work?? Are there any reasons as to why not? Working, has its benefits that no one can fill. Also, honesty is important. Along, with the honesty is the desire to be free and loving. You, obviously love your family. As an expression of love, you would like to send them things. Wal-mart, exactly isn't going to break the bank!! I have been shopping for many years. I never pay full price. Every store, has a clearance section. Take charge of these sections, and keep a monthly budget. I hope this helps. Educate and nurture yourself to be free. You, are a human being not a plant. m replied. Dear Priya,

Thank god atleast he keeps you happy and provides all your needs. It is not important if he does'nt allow you to give anything to your family.

There are some women whose husband even does'nt provide them their needs. So just be happy.
n replied. why can't u try to work?.even small job? for part time.Notice the diff in your husband, believe me it does makes diffrence. vs replied. Maybe your husband has a saving target that he wants to achieve and presents really gets a house budget offtrack, believe me. Frankly you do not need to send presents by mail or with somebody visiting India. You can maybe save up the money and buy something more valuble and useful when you visit India. I am sure your husband will not mind this. The best time to save money is when you dont have children. Probably your husband realises that too.