Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi friends,
i need ur sincere advice in the following matter. i have just completed 1 yr. of marriage and currently am expecting! i have a married sil and my husband is the only son. i live with my in-laws. my husband is a very understanding man and i have absolutely no regrets. the problem is my mil and fil. i was warned before getting married into this family of the nature of my mil and fil, infact my husband before marriage had even told me that we should stay separately(he still feels so) but, i was determined to stay as i feel that as a dil i have a duty to look after his parents as mine. i try to help them a lot, inspite of being a working woman. my mil but gets into these stupid moods sometimes and makes black faces, paces up and down, talks sarcastically, grumbles that she has to do all the work(the fact is that sometimes she herself tells me not to do becoz she wants to do)and then brings all this up-all this inspite of me trying to help her. when i want to do something she won't allow me, she actually treats me very well,only God knows what happens to her, she behaves like a mad lady!and then screams at my husband,says all sought of things to him but nothing about me!things like-u treat me like dirt, i am only here to cook, that other people treat their parents so well, take them out,etc. all these comparisons are so disgusting! we feel as though we treat her worse than an animal!!!and when she says this my husband really gets angry!she gets so agressive sometimes that hearing her screams,my neighbour has to intervene. my fil is another species-he does not like people coming to the house at all! the other day when my friend just walked from the hall to my bedroom he told her to behave properly and that this was not her house!! worse still my mil and fil are always finding faults with each other and atleast once a week there is this flow of bad language between them! now, all this i am bearing patiently. but, now i am just worried that if these things continue will it not affect our child? what example are we giving? it is useless putting sense into them as we have tried, only for a few days everything is good then back to square 1. i feel maybe going separate may help but then my conscience does not permit -i am god fearing and feel that i may be the coz of separation of my husband from his parents(even though he doesn't mind it one bit) my in-laws r quite healthy otherwise. please give me ur sincere advice, it will be highly appreciated, as i feel really sad when i think of bringing up a child in this environment. thanks in advance. rashi replied. hi donot mind i strongly feel taht they need psychiatric help ,i can understand ur prob as i really love my inlaws and they are the best
jenny replied. i think its wonderful that your hubby is so understanding and supportive and matured. you should stay separately as it is not a good enviroment for your child to be brought up in. familiarity breeds contempt and distance makes a person grow fonder. you probably have heard of this so go ahead and put this into practice. it will work wonders, take my word. you have only one life to live and you can take care of your in-laws by visiting them and taking care of their needs then actually living under the same roof and fretting each other. good luck. Friend replied. Dear Friend -

You have your husband's support unlike other women so please pack up your bags and leave. You can still be of assistance if you want by having your own place. Remember that your MIL and FIL will have their say about your child if you stay and you will not like it, believe me.

Move far and keep in touch and go over once in a while, maybe every other weekend.

Good luck! Concerned replied. hi there,

please go while u can...u can still help them by staying at a distance...but if u stay then your mil will say that u r staying for your selfish reasons...to take care of your child! be prepared for that if u stay.
good luck!