Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

More and more couples are opting to have just one child. Keep some points in mind while raising your 'only child'

The child is the center of the parent's universe and hence their expectations are high. The pressure on the child to be a \";super child\"; is immense. Learn to tone down your expectations and instead concentrate on making your child a good human being rather than a super human being!

Resist the temptation to overindulge your child as this gives him the mentality that \";I always get what I want\";, which can cause serious problems as he grows up.

Encourage your child to share things with friends, cousins and show your appreciation by rewarding him with words of encouragement.

The only child tends to have a strong bond with his parents, which can soon turn into dependence for everything from homework to entertainment.

How do you raise your only child? Share with us! Sujani replied. I am an only child. I am actually fine with that. Even where there are 2 or more siblings, often one of them gets all the importance due to some reason or the other. There are siblings who can' t stand the sight of each other, or who don' t talk. There is hell and heaven on both sides. Everything finally boils down to the maturity and intelligence of parents. They have to read the child and make the necessary adjustments. I have a 2 year old son and plan to stop. I know my parent' s mistakes -they didn' t encourage me to mingle- and so I will avoid them with my son. trupti replied. I have only one girl who is 7 years old. I agree with Anuradha Kiran. But sometime I confused. I take a dicission to grow only one child. But some times I thought whether my dicission is right or wrong. Please tell me. Rinku replied. I agree to a certain extent that a child should have a sibling, but its not necessarily very correct. Cos even if a child is only child he can be equally sharing, responsible & happy. Cos its the values that we give our child that matters in the end. Okay child with a sibling may have company, but that is not true always because after a certain they all lead seperate lives where tey may or may not be involved with each other. So its like to each his/her own thinking Laxmi Todiwan replied. I do believe that one should have a sibling. It gets lonely for the only child and such children are stubborn also. I have two siblings and my husband too comes from a large family. Our son is 1.5 year old and we would certainly like to add another member to our family. If parents can afford they should have 2 children supriya replied. who better to express views on this topic but an only child, which is unfortunately me. believe me an only child is a lonely child, i still blame my parents for not giving me a sibling> but I have vowed not to repeat the same mistake, my son is 3.5 now and we are expecting our second child in march. my son in absolutely ecstatic. he talks to the baby in the tummy and even hugs him/her. its so sweet. Ruchira replied. We had our first girl child when I was 36yeears and immediately we decided we would have a second as both of us have siblings and realise the importance of bonding. Then our second daughter arrived after 2-1/2 years and we have never been so happy in our lives as we are now when we see them both playing, caring and loving each other and most importantly when they gang up against us in their own sweet naughty ways!! Kavita Idnani replied. I had only child-daughter of 9 years. Upto she was nine, we realized that she was feeling lonely, didn't like the group gathering. Then we planned for second child and now I have two children. She is very happy to have companion. It's neccessity of having two kids. goura replied. it is nice to know ur ideas. pl let me know what way you choose to bring ur kid on line.
thanking you. gouradash replied. thanks you for ur advice. vanathi replied. I am the middle child with a brother and a sister and I have 2 boys.Though a single child has many advantages like -their parents undivided attention and more personal poccessions compared to children with siblings,most of them actually ern for the company and fun they can have with their siblings.I know many parents with single children dreading vacations and holidays because they have to thinks of ways to keep their children busy and entertained.Also a sibling is like a best friend you can take for granted.My siblings and I sometimes dont keep in touch for months but I know they are always there to sincerely share my joys and sorrows and will be there after my parents have passed on. Teri replied. This is an interesting topic. I am the middle child from a large family but my husband is an only child. We have 5 (soon to be 6) children. 4 bio-sons, 2 Indian daughters. Our outlooks on life are sometimes very different! I am very thick skinned, he is quite sensitive. It took him a long time to understand our children's sibling rivalry. The most difficult part about being an only child is that when your parents die, you feel orphaned. My mother-in-law died several years ago, my father-in-law is in poor health and my husband wishes he had siblings to share his life with after his dad passes. He sees how close I am with my siblings and how much fun we have sharing childhood memories. He wishes he had that bond with siblings. I'm sure there are many good things about being an only child-since I've never experienced that I'm definitely not an expert on the subject.
regards,
Teri sarmistha replied. hi,
our 4 year old is a pampered one,more by
my husband.Recently she is being taught to be more disciplined and realize the fact that every thing on earth is not achieveable kasturisudhakar replied. We do not show any conscious effort to our son that he is THE ONLY CHILD to us.We have taught him to make his bed,arrange his school bag and put on his own uniform by himself. Though it is not easy as written above, these things pay off in long run. Anuradha Kiran replied. I agree. We need to help our only child to grow up as a normal child not showing him too much of speacial care.

This would add to his nakras. Mohini replied. Hey! Anuradha these are really great tips.