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Last week an indian lady (with 2 little kids) from our community (australia) was bashed to death by her husband. The other indians in the community were aware that she was being beaten regularly, and in the last few weeks she told her indian friends that her husband threatened to kill her. The community members called in a priest to mediate? What I wonder?? Which days to get her bashed?? The priest visited them on Sunday and on Monday night he killed her. Yet NOBODY spoke up, nobody tried to help her, nobody called the police or family services? WHY? Why do educated women and men allow these things to happen?? I am all for sanctity of marriage but even marriage, and family honour do not rate above sanctity of human life! Raji replied. Sad to hear this happend..

Natia, to answer your question, Indian community is one of the most coward community. Though they love to know what’s going on in the neighbor’s house, and expect to be invited to all their family occasions, when it comes to giving any real help or moral support they will distance themselves and just watch the drama from their shell.
I am myself an indian, and have seen this hypocrisy closely. I dont know if you have ever been to India, but when someone dies in an accident in india, people will just gather around and watch the person die but no one will take the initiative to take the dying person to the hospital. If one bold person tries too, others will be there to stop him from doing the kind deed.
In most families the girls are never treated equal to guys even by her own parents, so while they will spend all their money on their son and make him a doc or engineer, even if he is not capable off, the girl often has to settle for much less. From begining the girl is taught to be submissive and dependent and so when she has a bad marriage she is stuck with it as she have very few options.
In short .. Its just a very hypocrite society...
S replied. No matter how much educated we are, unless we change our basic attitudes nothing much can be done to prevent these crimes. Parents in India still yearn for a boy inspite of the plummeting sex ratio in the country and the ones who have a girl discrimnate against her in many ways-education,inheritance and oppurtunities of self development. Besides when they cough up the hefty dowry and huge marriage expenses they thing their responsibilities towards her are over and in a subtle way indicate that she is on her own from now on. With no family support and a very male chavunistic society who make life very diffiult for a single woman and having been a dependent all her life, she would rather suffer if the marriage is bad rather than muster the courage to break free. The society who watches this keeps quiet because they dont want to take responsibility and spoil their comfort. So unless the woman musters a super human strength and dares to live at her own terms she cannot save herself. Its sad but where do we start at rectifying this? Priya replied. This one is a real horrible story. The lady had 2 young kids and she was trying to let others know of her situation!
She must be some less educated lady, totally dependent on her husband, in a foreign land. She didnt know what to do and fell in the trap.
Sarika you are so right. Every girl herself has to stand up for her own rights.
One of my favourite aunt always used to say, a boy can get away by not being very educated in indian society. He can run a pan shop for his living, but it is very nessary for every girl to be well educated for herself and her kids.
Sarika replied. I completely agree with you but until the victim herself decides that the marriage is not worth all this and leave her husband for good, others can do precious little. I myself believe that marriage is sacred and had a tough time with my inlaws for the first few years but always safeguarded my self respect. I have realised one thing- Only I have to stand for my rights and my children's until they are older.