Relationships  Discussion Forum

i have a situation for which i can't seek suggestions openly so posting it here, please try to help me. I am a housewife, 29 years old living in a joint family with my husband's parents and his 2 younger brothers aged 20 and 23 and my small daughter. We are quite a happy and fun loving family. My problem started with some observations by one of my friend from my society. She mentioned to me that my husband's younger brother try to touch me excessively and in appropriate areas. Now before anyone jumps to any conclusion let me explain things a bit, I dress in sarees at home due to conservative family and with saree a bit of stomach and back is visible, now my husband's brothers sometimes puts an arm around my waist or on my back while talking to me or they'll tease me or tickle me or simply touch my waist. I am quite ok with it as i consider them as my own brother and believe there are no bad intentions behind it. All this casual activities happen in front of family members and I have seen them doing the same with my mother in law as well. When my friend told me about this I told her the same to not worry about this but she said that such situation might become bigger problems later on. Another incident happened during the holi festival, when one aunt of my husband also came, so all the ladies and gents were colored and my friend saw from her house my brother in laws coloring me by putting their hands on my back, neck and stomach and she again raised the topic, however since i was there i knew all ladies were colored like that only, which is also quite common. Off late i have started to think is it really something wrong what i am doing, or on the pretext of being casual some advantage is being taken of me. Has anyone else has been in a similar situation, please advice Tina replied. Hi Sneha, most of the men get excited when they see the stomach area exposed. This is one main problem which we have to stop somehow or else it will become very serious problem for you in the coming days. Seema replied. See you need to understand that you friends are just trying to ruin you relation with your brother in laws. Maybe they are not doing it on purpose maybe it is just their thinking but you should listen to what your mind thinks is right. Naina replied. People always try to spoil good things if they can not manage to get one for themselves. Maybe your friends are just jealous of you for having a very nice and healthy relation with your brother in laws and therefore are trying to spoil it. Myntra replied. Hello Sneha,
For an girl or lady it will be easliy known by the touchings how do they maintain so you need not get so tensed that some one has said the word to you.You must be very careful from him so that there will not be any problem. No Name replied. Hello Sneha Agarwal,
It would be different scenario you are facing what can we suggest you because your friend has raised some doubt to you and you kept quite.If you brother in law was friendly and if treats as you in positive what would you react then.Think positive only. No Name replied. Hello Sneha Agarwal,
DO you have any doubt on their behavior does they misbehaved with you any time. If not you better try to avoid them. According to me you explain every thing in cool manner but do not take this issue in to your husband notice it may create problems for you only. Tavlor replied. Hi Sneha Agarwal,
In the present generation people are behaving in free manner with all the person they do face. I think you are thinking more about them do not take the words spoken by others as of now they haven't done any wrong with you. You treated them as brothers only. Ruhi replied. Hello Sneha Agarwal,
I think your brother in laws might be very free to you and why do you think in negative about them. If you feel that they do have any another opinion on you it will be known to you easily only.So be positive nothing bad will happen to you. Snigdha replied. Hello Sneha Agrwal,
It is the scenario which got repeated in almost every family because now a days and in present generation people are not thinking and not knowing about all relations and do not their importance of relations also. shamika replied. first of all we are women and we have sixth sense about if someone touching or watching us with bad intention. when your brother in law touches you do you fee that there is some bad intention in their touch? if you don't then there may not be any bad intention. and when there are things which are not there before and somebody come and told this that it is like this way and that way by their perception it really occur a problem which is originally not their. when you constantly keep saying you are mad then you really will started to feel you are mad. after all it is psychology. Same old replied. Men are men. Maintain physical distance from him. don't go too close. Keep a hands distance always. And when he touches move away. Let him understand with just your body language that it not approved of any more. Talk to your husband if he's understanding. kanika replied. IF HIS INTENTION IS NOT WRONG THAN ITS OK AS HIM FRANKLY ricki replied. on last holi our neighbour comes to our home asual to play holi he lift my mother and apply colours on holi as usual,he take advantage of festival ricki replied. yes it happens