Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

How important is happiness for you and your family? Do you think there are better values that need to be stressed? Are there any parenting secrets you would like to share with us? We would love to hear from you. jamy replied. I liked this article a lot. I was never a happy child infact I remember being unhappy most of the time. My dad had an addiction and even though he was affectionate my mom and dad always fought. My mom always remained unhappy abusive and would find fault at everything I did. She would keep the house clean and would always have food ready but life was always tensed. I remeber being terrorized in school and sad coming home too. When I think of it now after so many years my parents did a lot of damage to my personality.Even though we were financially sound I remember envying my poorer friends who in contrast had less educated parents but gave them more love. My mom who was a graduate at that time made it a point to mention to us that we were slower than her and not so smart. I grew up that way with low confidence though from outside evrything looked alright.I started doing well in school only when my dad passed away and my mom started working though I was alone. Infact my experiences of hostel life is more pleasant than my life at home. I am now a college prof and I am doing quiet well actually, I also have very good school scores and excellent college scores but I still have inferiority complex.Even then its not good enough for my mother as I am still lower compared to my other successful professional cousins who are infact girls with promiscous nature. Recently I had a conversation with a cousin of mine and my mom has told her and her hubby that I never had much brain to start with. This broke my heart. The worst part is my mom never addressed these issues with me directly and went behind my back saying this. I have always loved my mom no matter what even though she never had much to give. Now I feel very lost when i realize she never cared about my feelings and continues to do so.I have a wonderful, very intelligent husband who loves me dearly(one thing that worked out for me or I wouldn' t have the will to live) and he tells me to never believe a word that I was never good enough and ignore my mom but it still hurts.Somehow I feel very sad that after so many years my mom could still make me feel low. Please share your good thoughts with me and excuse my long message. Nidhi replied. hey...happiness is a state of mind man...nothing to do with inheritance etc. The most you can do is maintain a pleasant environment at home so that children are not affected by it Horace replied. While your article raises valid points, the topic is much more complex. And what about inherited traits? Some people are just born wirh a happy disposition and things always come easily for them. KARENA replied. Evybody wants to have a happy family . Raising a child is not a joke sometimes it needs a lot of patien . Can anyone suggest me wht do u do in this matter if you yourslf not happy how will u make your child happy tribu replied. I tell u - save prsents for wknds and spcs occaision-otherwise chdren spoil. Also good way to keep thm happy. Bindu replied. I have always found that feeding cjildren well keeps them in good productive mood and happy Tony S replied. I have seen my inlaws r always happy. they r always laughing loud, generally pulling each others legs, and the atmposphere in the house is full of laughter and jokes. but my husband is just the opposite. he is always serious and does not laugh much on any joke and is generally a v. boring person to be with - criticizing everyone he meets. why is this happening ?