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You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Anger and Parenting > Comments

Comments:

Name: Kaverii
Country: India
 Please check out this site....has similar topics on Anger Mgmt and Parenting http://bre ezermum.blogsp ot.com/
Name: Vinaya
Country: australia
 yes, we all get angry with children but then saying 'sorry' if the anger was disproportionate or talking about what caused us to be angry with the children and also telling them how they should have behaved in that situation helps the child and us immensely. remember for every negative comment you make to a child, try to make at least three positive ones as soon as you can.
Name: Deepika Belapurkar
Country: india
 anger i think is like a debilitating disease unless tackled appropriatly. parenting is the most time consuming and taxing job among all. therefore it is essential to accept that parents cannot be perfect. they are prone to thier own out-bursts under stress. under such circumstances it is important for one parent to remain calm. the child needs to feel secure in the belief that he is still wanted and loved. apologising for incorrect behaviour is top priority. a lot of time should be alloted for doing things together. it can be same and simple hugging. but do it in style, meaning with a lot of time on hand.
Name: Ritu
Country: india
 i have a one year old who turns the whole house up side down. at the end of the day my head is bursting and i cannot take it any more. so i end up shouting at everyone- my husband,, the house hold help and sometimes even the baby. kids at this age can hardly understand a no and they will do whatever they feel like. i think meditation and a lot of strong will power is needed to control anger which can lead to raising your hand on the otherwise innocent kid.
Name: Gayatri
Country: india
 a human is not a saint, anger is a expression if you don't throw it out of your system, it will toxicate your body and you would fall sick. if you observe a small child you will notice that he/ she also has a way of expressing his/her anger. the writer needs to justify his views by giving examples.
Name: Priya
Country: india
 yes, i agree that we should try and control our anger as much as possible. but there should be some sort of vent for the anger or else you either tend to hurt the child or in fear of hurting him too much you tend to hurt yourself. i have two boys with a small age gap of two years. i have to attend to the homework of one while the other who has still not started school tends to distract the other. i also have to spend quality time with both of them and attend to their quarrels. in between all this i tend to get irritated very fast and lose my temper leading to spanking or shouting at both of them. but i feel reading everyone's views and writing down your own tend to calm you down little by little.
Name: Patty
Country: usa
 i found this site on a search. thank you, thank you. i am grateful for any advice to help me deal with my 9 year old daughter who has always been a challenge to parent, so unlike her older brother who has a very easygoing and cooperative personality. it is amazing that two syblings can have such different temperaments. i would like to advise the parent who feels overwhelmed by their anger in dealing with a difficult child to take time to take care of themselves so that their patience can be replenished. getting out with friends to talk about shared difficulties in parenting helps me to vent frustrations and to keep things in perspective. emotions and confidence can take a beating with the daily struggle of parenting a difficult child. knowing that i can turn to my friends for support helps me greatly in this.
Name: Deepali
Country: dubai
 i am mother of two children, three years old daughter and one year old son. it is very very difficult to handle the elder one. she would beat the younger one for no reason, would not give any of the toys out of hundreds of toys in the house, and i loose my temper very often and sometimes beat her also. i really am trying to control my temper. i actually try my best to make her understand things with love but she wouldn't listen and only after shouting and beating she would stop. i really feel sorry for this situation. any suggestions?
Name: Desperate mom
Country: india
 i have a 7 year old daughter who never listens to anything i tell her. right from waking up in the morning, to eating, doing homework, to watching tv and even bedtime. everything is a struggle. inspite of warning her several times, when she doesn't listen, i scream and shout, drag her and make her comply. i even say mean things like i regret having her or that she is the worst child i have seen etc. then later i regret and feel guilty about hurting her self esteem. sometimes i apologise or explain why i shouted at her. but still there aren't too many loving and fun moments that we share.my mind is always preoccupied with this matter and how i can be a better and more indulging mother. is there anyone out there who has this experience and who has tackled this problem effectively?
Name: Sdua
Country: canada
 i am a mother of boy who is 2+.his father is in india and we are in canada.my husband has gone to india for 4 months.my son is missing him alot and i and my husband have always told him that papa will come when santa clause will come.initially he displayed good understanding of the fact but lately he has realised that its been a long time now and he is finding it difficult without him.so, he has started crying alot and mostly for the things which we don't have in our home.he wants the things immeditely and any preposition of buying the thing doesn't help.this shows that he doesn't want the thing but just wants to cry when he returns from his daycare.i understand this but still i hate to see him cry for an hour as i find myself helpless.once i got annoyed and realised that he cried rest of the day without any reason(missing his father more than ever).i felt bad and miserable.but next day when he started it again i tried to control my anger and rather showed my support and love.it really helped!he cried less.nnow he cries for an hour every day and i try to explain to him that how his demand can be fulfilled.he ignore all i say.then i get tired and just leave him to himself.i don't want to do that but i find myself spellbound.he stops crying after some time realising that his unreasonable demands cannot be fulfilled.then i hug him and discuss with him if he thought his demands were reasonable or not and he agrees with me that he was being unreasonable.but still this is the routine and to me it is scary. i totally agree with what has been written in this article and i think its not impossible to do what has been written in it but my question is "is it okay to ignore when my son cries and is there some way i can stop him from crying very evening."
Name: Renu
Country: malaysia
 i am a mother of two sons. the first hs just turned four while the seond one is 1+. both my sons are very demanding in terms of seeking for attention. the first one has just started nursery and frankly the ordeal of getting him ready in the morning drives me up the wall almost everyday. eventhough i have a stay-in helper, it is of no help mainly because both my sons would insist i tend to them personally at the same time. at times i feel like just walking out and leave them with the maid to handle but the 'mother' in me stops me. so i end up getting angry and feeling sorry for myself. generally i agree with the article but i wonder if truly it works in our daily lives.
Name: bona&me
Country: india
 hello friends, i have a daughter who is nearly 2 yrs old. i a working motherand my child is with my parents.after coming from work many a times i have noticed that she is very stubborn, will want her way no matter what.also she screams a lot.of course i loose my temper but dono t know how to control it as i feel totally tired after having a tired day at office. pls help.
Name: Nehila
Country: other
 a ten year old girl thinks that her boyfriend is very temperamental.in theory,i agree that one should try and not have a bad temper.mostly facing a naughty child is a theory and technique that goes flying all over.all the things that i used to know have gone out the window
Name: Marie
Country: usa
 i feel that so overwhelmed with my children. i find myself crying all the time. i have a 7 yrs old daughter and a 2 yrs old daughter. the 7 years old is acting up in school. she won't listen, she acts silly in class, and at home she just wants to do what she wants. i do find that she is having trouble focusing on one thing. it seems that she is thinking of more than one thing at a time. i tried to talk to her about her behavior and she tells me that she will do her best to behave better. my husband is very loving but i feel that he punishes her too much. he will take away the t.v. and toys for the whole day every time he gets a complaint about her behavior. i don't argue with him in her presence because i don't want her to think that we are at different pages. i don't know what to do. i feel like i am going to have a nervous breakdown. i can't think of anything else but on how to help her.
Name: Rose
Country: usa
 i too have a difficult child. i also have an older easy going child. i am a fulltime working mom, have a great husband and am a very anxious person. when i read the paragraph on inapproprite anger i was horrified to be not one but all of those things. i too am very loving with my girls and always try to give them understanding of why i lose my temper and that no matter what i love them. i never had anybody explain the screaming to me, so i feel that i should at least give them the respect of knowing why i might lose my temper. all the time.turning to others and finding time for adult activity helps
Name: girija
Country: india
Name: dad
Country: india
 kids sure can test the patience of a saint and i am no saint. the whole thing boils down to self control. i wish i knew if anger did influence or play on my 2 yr old daughters mind. advise to short fused dads/moms, just keep cool!
Name: resa
Country: usa
 i just feel so frustrated as a parent!! my daughter whines constantly and it literally drives me up the wall. i end up yelling at her and daily i feel like a failure as a parent. currently i'm pregnant with my second child and am kinda depressed about it. my husband wants lots of kids (and i thought i did to before our marriage)but now i think two is fine. i don't see eye to eye with him on some issues and it is affecting our relationship with each other and our daughter. i am really becoming resentful of all the things that a wife/mother are supposed to be, it is overwhelming.
Name: gillian
Country: canada
 i am soooo relieved to see other moms feel the same way i do - frustrated, angry, and at the end of one's rope. i cannot talk to my friends because i feel they would judge me for losing my temper with my son. he is three years old and so strong willed my husband and i are at our wit's end as to how to control him. he deliberately hurts his 9 month old sister, breaks things, etc.. but we also lose control and scream and sometimes spank. now my son thinks every time he does something wrong he's going to be hit. this isn't the relationship i want and i will make positive changes. i will take time to recharge my energy by taking time for myself, and avoid situations that becomes explosive (trying to do too much when we are both tired, trying to hurry him beyond what he can accomplish). i also need to examine my own childhood and understand why i am the way i am. if i can't understand why i do things how can i expect to change my son's behavior?
Name: Gita
Country: india
 i enjoyed that artile and it made me feel good that i was no devil of a parent. i think we get upset because we over-react when it is our child . we are able to tolerate our neighbours' child, friends' child, and the like. but when it comes to our own, all logic flies away. i think if we too could stand aside and react, even a slow reaction will work wonders, there will be less noise. and the child also would feel like coming over and having a talk - believe me, a child has her / his ego, and hitting the ego is what hurts. i have a daughter who takes me for a ride; on after thought i wonder how easy it is for her to take me through one. i fall bait to each one of her tricks. at times it helps to just stand there and enjoy the fun. it will atleast leave us with a little less of jumpy nerves. because, all that has to be done has anyway to be done. we could do it without much of a grouse. maybe the little one will also be around doing the cleaning up. and the number of clean ups will become lesser. no theory this. because i believe there is no perfect parenting technique. when our little one grows up, it is going to be no different.
Name: urvi
Country: india
 my dillemma is "fine we don't show any anger, but do we let our kiddies do whatever they want to? i have a son who just turned 1,if he wants something, he wants it .....he cries ,cries and cries till we give it to him.at times i am afraid that it would spoil him and when he grows his demands would be un -ending....i am not sure as to is this the age when we discipline him or he is still too young? pls help
Name: Casey
Country: usa
 i have a 8 yr old daughter and the only way to make her listen is to have her dad spank her cause she is daddies little girl and hates when he spanks her.
Name: nisha
Country: india
 it is depressing at the end of it for the mother. cos she has worked at home in mornings - bfast/lunch boxes and in eveing dinner, plus all the other regular chores with job. and you go crazyy when they behave in a "i dont care" way. i get into major depreesive mood swing with my son (6 yr) 's behaviour. dunno what to do. like last night i cried for 2 hrs after he slept and hubby feels its an overrecation and that i need to relax.(
Name: chetna
Country: dubai
 thank you very much for the article. i was a working mom till the last yr,when i decided to quit as i realised that my 4yr old needed me more. as a full time working mother i subject my son, who was and still is a true angel, to a lot of anger and spanking as i wanted him to be perfect at too early a stage. the damage done is visible today. from a happy child i have turned him into an aggressive angry child. now i am trying to control my behaviour and anger as that is the only way he responds. my inlaws are over indulgent and fail to teach him basic human values ,courtesies and manners which even they lack, coming from a rather humble background and although they love him a lot they have made him stubborn and ever demanding with their constant adulation and praise.they stay with us . anyways i think i have to take charge of the situation. i hope i am able to reverse the damage done to my child.
Name: BARODA
Country: india
 i am glad i am dad. i have 2 and half year daughter. she was quite obidient till 2 years, suddenly she was exctly do what i said no. she challanges me in this direction and that makes me angry. i have worked with lots of children and i am a teacher so i know what to do. but sometime she wants to do something which is harmful to her or to me or to house. at that time we have to stop her. by saying in good tone she not at all listening. she is active and expressive by nature. she likes to break things, possessiveness ect. i dont mind in that but purposefully she tells no or wdoes what we do not like thats makes me angry. i think our ego plus children are our children so our genes- mother and father's are inherited in them. so our negative sides shows up in our child which carefully we have hidden in society. children do not know society, they are raw. so we need to take certain risk and new plan on every failed plan before.
Name: Twinkles
Country: usa
 boy, i sure am glad i stopped at this site. i am feeling very guilty for having lost my temper with my sons tonight. i have three boys (4, 6, 8) and a stay at home mom. i too, am at my ropes end. i love them so much but there is only so much of me to go around. no matter how hard i try, sometime throughout the day, i loose it. one problem is i always try to "make up" for my bad behavior of yelling and screaming, to yet again not be able to meet the expectations i set for myself. it is comforting to know that other moms feel the same way i do. i have even decided to work outside the home to get away for awhile and do something for me. 24/7 with all three is just too overwhelming
Name: kavita
Country: india
 i have a 4 year old boy . in all other things he is very good .he is very curious about things and helpfull also but when i started teaching him he was so slow and irrites me this much i started bitting him badly . when ever i teach him i behave so madly that now his interestis going and he afarid of me now she will beat me what i do how i control myself not to behave like this with such i small kid.
Name: Tired Out Mum
Country: other
 i have a ten year old daughter and a seven year old son. i'm so glad i found this website. i keep thinking i'm a terrible mother with my eldest daughter who is the opposite to her brother. she drives me to distraction all day whining constantly for attention after reading the articles on this site i now feel a lot better equipped to deal with the situation that arises. i work part time and my husband works shifts and some days i am so tired that i know that is when i get snappy and say things like why can't you be more like your brother and do as you are told. i'm going to try mush harder.
Name: vaishakhi
Country: india
 i have a 2 years 3 months old son who is very shy of unknown face he does not look into the other persons eye he digs his nose or looks else where pls help is it bcos i get very angry & keep shouting & beating him often
Name: vaishakhi
Country: india
 i have a 26 months old son who throws tantrums & does things to annoy me i beat him up at that particular moment & angry shout & yell at him then when he asks me as to why i shout & beat him i tell him the reason,immdeately he tells me he will not do it again but doest it again at the end of it i feel he is shy bcos i do this to him.he goes to a preschool he gets beaten up by the boys he doesnot hit them back i am really worried for my son i love him very much pls help tell me as to how to control my temper
Name: studentmommy
Country: usa
 i have a 1 1/2 year old. i'm trying to get my b.s. degree and am a single mom. sometimes i wonder if i regret that i had my son. there are so many things i cannot do because i had him, and i think being at a university daily with other people my age who are enjoying their lives doesn't help. i feel like a bad parent because i come home and start homework, i feel like i'm never there for my son and he's suffering because of it. i've started spanking him but since it doesn't seem to affect him i'm trying to find other ways to get him to stop misbehaving. right now he won't eat. most of you think sure he's one, they don't eat, but mine really doesn't. he has been between 19 and 20 lbs. for 8 months. i've seen tons of doctors, now i wonder if his problem is behavioral. he will literally starve himself if he doesn't like to eat what's offered. he's sensitive to food textures and often will spit food out and throw it. even if he hasn't eaten for hours, i would think he's hungry. does anyone have this problem?
Name: ranga
Country: india
 looks like kids are the same all over this small world. i am feeling better now that we have quite a good company when i feel the way i feel in dealing with our two sons aged 9 and 5.
Name: tired of the same old thing
Country: canada
 i have a 2yr old daughter and a 4 month old son. there father is on the road for work and i feel like i am a single mother raising them. no matter what i do my 2 yr old just won't listen to me. i try so hard not to yell at her all the time, but when i'm trying to feed the baby or tidy up she is constantly doing what she is not supposed to do. i get even angrier when her father comes home and she listens to everything he tells her to do. she basically laughs in my face, and she is only two. i just need some sort of calming tool so i do not end up having a breakdown, and that i can control situations abit better.
Name: Gangsa
Country: usa
 i gave a 2.5 year old and a 10 mth old. both are sons. i chose to be a stay at home mom and even in spite of everything i do, i still lose it. i hate the look of fright in my childrens' eyes when i lose my temper. whatever happened to the kind mother i aspire to be at all times? when i comment this to my mom, she says, "now you understand why i wasn't so kind all the time." no help! i want to be a great mom but they want so much from me. can we humans really be great parents from the get-go? i wish i were.
Name: Nicki
Country: usa
 i enjoyed the article. i have a 2 year old son and i lose my temper with him almost everyday. i feel like i am always trying to be a good mom instead of just being one. every night before i go to bed i tell myself tomorrow is a new day and i will not lose my temper, then tomorrow comes and i lose it again. my biggest fear is that i will totally mess him up. that he will grow up to be an angry person that will totally hate me because i was a mean mom. i just wish i could control my yelling. i don't want him to grow up in a house where his mom is screaming all the time. what is wrong with me?
Name: sc22
Country: usa
 to vaishakhi country: india i wouldnt worry too much about shyness, my son was shy too until around three he became friendly and open.he will break out of it, around three is when he interacted better to friends. your son probably needs more time to get used to people and that is good.he is cautious as to who is around him. definitly try not to hit him too much.i know it is frustrating and he is at a tough age. once he is 4 he'll understand more. give lots of hugs and kisses, he may be more sensitive and be patient,he'll grow out of it w/your help and love. good luck
Name: yvonne
Country: south Africa
 my boy is turning 2 in feb.he throws things like food and toys and everything else. this is becoming a problem.how can i stop this
Name: rakhi
Country: usa
 my son is 5 and half years old but he is very shy and wouldnot talk to people and hides behind us when ever we go to socialize. please i need help how to deal with his problem. he is good with his friends in school but with their parents or our friends he wouldnot.if somebody can help i will be grateful thanks.
Name: mama J
Country: usa
 oh so grateful for all of this wisdom and understanding on a night like tonight where i lost my temper at my 2.5 yr old son who has been pushing me to the limit lately at bedtime when he will not settle down enough to hear the bedtime story/guided meditation i am trying to tell him and my 1 yr old daughter ... whew! not easy when all you want is life to be an easy flow and go exactly as you would hope ... realize through this article that i am being asked to go with the flow a bit more as well and not take my son's excitement as anything but normal. thank you all!
Name: AussieMum
Country: australia
 ladies i can sympathise with you al. i am a mother of a 10mnth old and a 2yr old. i work full time in a child care centre catering for 40 x 0 - 6yrs. why can i control 40 children without shouting, screaming or smacking yet get home with two children and loose control??
Name: Ruchi
Country: India
 i am a witch mother i feel. my 2 year old daughter is very hard to handle. and being exhausted and frustated due to official and personal issues and errands i just loose my temper on her very easily and spank her hard on her cheeks and bottom, or throwing her on bed.. shouting on her on highest pitch. gawd!! i feel i am a most horrible creature on earth to do that.. and do feel guily all the time later and plan to change myself but again my daugher is so arrogant and irritating natured that i am back to square one. she is turning into quite and reserved child at her pre-school. does not participate with other kids. i am so tensed about all this. i am unable to change myself and she is becoming an introvert.
Name: aero
Country: Philippines
 i just want to say that this site of view about parenting is good and helpful in our society
Name: lilli
Country: U.S.A.
 if you all do not stop beating on your children because you were beaten on as kids or you are just plain ignorant... i cannot wait to see you in another place.
Name: Jim
Country: Canada
 anger is certainly one of the most difficult emotions to control when dealing with children. it is best to not let your anger get the best of you in a situation involving a child. more can be achieved by having fair and legal consequences for bad behaviour rather than anger. you can always punish appropriately while trying not to base that punishment on your anger, but rather basing the punishment on whatever the situation dictates. a five minute time out for purposely playing too rough for example could be the best solution.
Name: Nikki
Country: U.S.A.
 i know exactly how you feel. when i was reading what you have written it was like reading something i had written myself. i feel like an awful mum. i feel like my children dont love me when i have shouted at them. i need to get myself sorted out because i feel like i am the most horrible mum in the world shouting and screaming at them all the time.
Name: gk
Country: India
 i am mother of two sons one is 9yrs. and other is 5 years old. my elder son is intellegent in studies but very careless he doesn't show his notebooks to teacher never complete his classwork and homework. he starts telling lie, take money from my purse without asking me. i tried all beat him, by love by teaching good stories but all in vain. i also promise with myself that i will never scold him but after seeing remarks on his notebook i get furious pleaes help me
Name: kanchana
Country: India
 if we came to know how to control our anger,we can manage our kids without any problem.so try to make yourself happy and make your kids happy. if you feel moody listen some fast songs and dance with your kids. and say some jokes to them. and take them outing like park, restaurent and something like that. they feel good. but all must be in some limit. ok any way happy parenting to you all.
Name: Helpless Mom
Country: india
 my daughter is colicky, and although i don't want to, i can't help myself for getting angry at her (ofcourse i don't do anything). and then i get angry at myself for getting angry at her - who is truly an angel when she is not crying.
Name: Neha
Country: indonesia
 i have a ten year old daughter and i think that whoever wrote this article must have the temperament of a saint. theoretically, i agree that one should try and control one's temper. but on most days when faced with a naughty child all these theories fly out of the window.
Name: lg
Country: India
 i stopped by this site, am i glad! its a comforting feeling to know there are others facing a similar problem. the ideas given in this site sound good, have to put it to practice and see if it works. i have a 9yr old daughter who drives me crazy mostly during study time. she hates studies and will do anything to avoid it. she knows the tricks which will anger her mom and its extremely difficult to keep cool. i dont understand why she does it.
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