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Role of in-laws:Interpretation
2005-08-10
Name: Jija Bai



Hey Girls,

I want to share an situation and ask for your opinion. My husband and I have been married for 5 years now and we live in the US. I am a pretty easygoing and loving person. For the first three years I tried very hard to win the hearts of my inlaws. Depsite their rude behavior and cutting words during their 3-4 month trips to the US each year. Moreover for these three years my unmarried sil and bil( both younger than my guy) lived with us in the US from the day we got married. Initially I tried be my normal happy self with them as both of them are very close to my age.
Anyways after 2-3 years I realised that they are simply using my goodness and started standing up for myself. My guy's whole family is full of drama. They act completely different in front of others. They are all PHD's etc..., but I am well edcutaed too so I didn't think that being educated meant you could show off.!!

Now, we live seperately but my mil as usual keeps giving biting comments and she does that only when my guy is not around or not on the phone. And my guy is absolutely loving and a compassionate person but just doesn't beleive that his mom is nasty towards me. He supports me in everything else but his mom's behavior. And after 5 yrs, I just don't pay any attention to her bitching but sometimes I get irritated that I have bear all th enonsense for him and he doesn't even acknowledge my hurt.

Today what happened is that we bought a new car and after we called my parents, he called his parents to inform them. His mom right off the bat tells me \";carwali, congratulations on the new car, In our times we had lalita pawar and nadira as hunterwali and now you are carwali\"; I didn't know what to say!!!!!!????is that who you equate your dil to when you congratulate ????? I simply repeated what she sd so that my husband could hear what she is saying. But I just waived it off after that as I didn't wanna upset mysel fand argue with my husband. But then he asked me later what it was all about and I sd mom says weird things sometimes and I told him what she sd. He says you take everything in the wrong context !!!!!!!!!! My gawd!!!! am I the only one who thinks its insulting to be compared to lalita pawar??

Anyways, I cut the argument with him and walked away as I don't wanna waste my breath on the nasty old lady and her efforts to make us fight.But it irks me that my guy doesn't accept that his mom is rude to me. If my parents were ever rude to him, I would accept and correct them. Here I don't expect him to correct them but atleast he can accept yaar! Anyways maybe it's too much to ask of an Indian guy to stand up to his mom!

And the bitch has made me cry so many tears for 3 years that I don't wanna fight even for 1 min with my guy over her.Mostly I don't care about the nasty stuff she says or does but sometimes it just irks me like mad. And makes me doubt myself that maybe I misconstrued the situation.But she has now done it a million times so I feel I can't be misconstruing only her all the time because in general I am a sane and fair-minded person. Thanks for reading this...I was feeling claustrophic and wanted to share since I am so far away from home. :(
Feel free to write in your opinions and comments...I'll feel someone know what I am talking about and understands it.
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2005-08-12
#21
Anonymous Name: GK
Subject:  Same story!



Hi dears ,
Don't worry too much. These stories are happening daily in most of our lives.
I tell you about myself. I am educated and earning nearly 40,000 per month. But I used to be treated like a servent by my MIL. whenever she comes to our house, she won't go back with out making me and my hubby into misunderstanding. whatever she is doing is corect according to him. he is very lovable husband to me but only in her absence. During her presence , he used to behave like a villan to me by saying "adjust with her". But how far we can adjust. What to do? all these are our fate!

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