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Adoption Topics..

You are here : home > Adoption > Is Adoption the Answer? > My Dream - My Daughter - II

My Dream - My Daughter - II

Author: Purnima Mirchandani

A mother writes about her experience with adoption and how her dream came true.

Adoption was an experience we looked forward to and yet we were totally unprepared. After the merry-go-round with doctors and trying out different fertility treatments, one day we decided that enough was enough. I had had enough of people poking and prodding me in the most intimate places, and this nightmare of going for sonography and "tonight is the night" kind of homework assignment brand of sex was too much for us.

But having a child was very important for me - it was like I felt incomplete without a child (sounds very cliched - but it is very true as well). I didn't want to miss out on the experience of being a mother. Being a teacher and psychologist and my work being among children I could have made those kids into my substitute kids (and I did so for a long time), but at the end of the day they had a family to go home to - someone who would nurture them and get the joy of having a child in their lives. Why couldn't I have all those experiences too? I would look at the women living in the slums or even on the streets - even they had children, whom they did not even take the time to nurture, but left them to fend for themselves - and here I was all ready to nurture and love a child - I was left bereft.

As my husband and I went through the process of adoption, I sensed that I was on uncharted territory emotionally, with no road maps or role models. None of my family or friends had adopted children - they took it for granted when they were given the boon of children - and here I was, envious every time someone I knew was expecting a child. I was sure that I could love a child and make her mine. There would be obstacles in the way, but with my husband's and our families' support (which I was lucky enough to have in full measure), I would be able to face all odds - that was all there was to it. The decision was made!

What were my emotions like when I first held our baby in my arms? Indescribable! Ecstatic! Here, in the form of this little cute cuddly sweet-smelling baby was the culmination of years of struggle and hope and heartache - we finally had our baby! We had this great party to show off our baby. And of course seeing these hordes of people who came to see her and coochie coo to her, made her cry (it was her first day in a new environment) and here was my first parenting task - how to calm her down. The first few days were unbelievable - I learnt which cry meant that she wanted attention and which cry indicated hunger. My mother was unbelievable. When Malavika cried for her feed in the night, before I could go to the kitchen to heat up the formula, my mother was there with the bottle ready in her hand. I could not have managed the first month without her. She was there with me to guide me in this totally uncharted territory of motherhood.

My Dream - My Daughter - I

My Dream - My Daughter - III

My Dream - My Daughter - IV

My Dream - My Daughter - V

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purnima.divvela.4 years ago
congratulations and god bless yoy!!!
yes,these words truely come from the depth of my heart as a woman and as a mother.i really wish you good luck and a happy parenthood.i can undersatand the torture you people have undergone in the society.well,all i can say is raise the child well,both as a good daughter and as a good humanbeing.let the people who poked you praise you for such a wonderful child.may god give her long life with all good things life needs.
bythe way,welcome to the troubles and confusions like all of us(just kidding).
Wellwisher.4 years ago
congratulations on motherhood and a well-written article. hope to get many more such articles from you
with your experiences. by the way, i also adopted a baby girl and i went through all the emotions you had..from infertility treatments to holding our daughter in our arms...i understood every word that you had wriiten from my heart!!! we also had a huge celebration and it was overwhelming to get a lot of goodwill. now, everyone from my parents' street in india wants to know about the baby's progress and everything. take care, enjoy motherhood and keep writing....all the best to you...
Feli.4 years ago
hi, congratulations. god bless you and your family. indeed you are very lucky to have a caring, loving and understanding mother. all the best... take care and enjoy every step of motherhood.
malini.4 years ago
hi friend, congratulations for a new life in yr life, i felt so good after reading yr article, actually i m at the midle stage of poking, and now kind of getting irritated by all that, lets hope i get a baby soon or else will surely go for an adoption.
anonymous.4 years ago
part 2 was equally question is does the girl know that she's adopted and how did she handle it? that would have been an useful experience for the readers. i ask this as an adoptive mother myself. i hear some have taken it very well and there
are few that seem to get upset. your experience in this would be very helpful. very positive and upbeat article otherwise..
Purnima.4 years ago
yes - she knows about it and has been wondeful about it - and it does make for another article. will do so!
Asha Bhoumick.4 years ago
it is heartening to read this article. she is lucky that she managed to fulfil her dream of adoption. my dream of adopting a girl child (i have a bilogical son who is six and a half years old) reamins a dream. i have tried getting in touch with many agencies but to no avail.
swati.4 years ago
one of my cousin's has adopted a child after haing two of her own - one boy and one girl! she really wanted to do good to the society. hats off to her becasue she is a working mother.
Radhika.4 years ago

gr8 to read thru the three parts...really appreciate your decision to adopt a baby . the third part wherein u tried to explain to ur daughter that she was adopted child, is rlaly mind blowing...i mean, u wud have undergone so much mental homework to answer her questions and to deal with her .well hats off to u ma'm.
wellwisher.4 years ago
could not finish reading the article
without tears in my eyes...look forward
to the remaining story...we haven't told our daughter yet and i have heard that it is in schools the kids start talking and some of them are mean without realizing it...yours is a delicate narration...all the best
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