A mother writes about her experience with adoption and how her dream came true.
Adoption was an experience we looked forward to and yet we were totally
unprepared. After the merry-go-round with doctors and trying out
different fertility treatments, one day we decided that enough was
enough. I had had enough of people poking and prodding me in the most
intimate places, and this nightmare of going for sonography and "tonight
is the night" kind of homework assignment brand of sex was too much for
But having a child was very important for me - it was like I felt
incomplete without a child (sounds very cliched - but it is very true as
well). I didn't want to miss out on the experience of being a mother.
Being a teacher and psychologist and my work being among children I
could have made those kids into my substitute kids (and I did so for a
long time), but at the end of the day they had a family to go home to -
someone who would nurture them and get the joy of having a child in
their lives. Why couldn't I have all those experiences too? I would
look at the women living in the slums or even on the streets - even they
had children, whom they did not even take the time to nurture, but left
them to fend for themselves - and here I was all ready to nurture and
love a child - I was left bereft.
As my husband and I went through the process of adoption, I sensed that I
was on uncharted territory emotionally, with no road maps or role
models. None of my family or friends had adopted children - they took
it for granted when they were given the boon of children - and here I
was, envious every time someone I knew was expecting a child. I was
sure that I could love a child and make her mine. There would be
obstacles in the way, but with my husband's and our families' support
(which I was lucky enough to have in full measure), I would be able to
face all odds - that was all there was to it. The decision was made!
What were my emotions like when I first held our baby in my arms?
Indescribable! Ecstatic! Here, in the form of this little cute cuddly
sweet-smelling baby was the culmination of years of struggle and hope
and heartache - we finally had our baby! We had this great party to
show off our baby. And of course seeing these hordes of people who came
to see her and coochie coo to her, made her cry (it was her first day
in a new environment) and here was my first parenting task - how to calm
her down. The first few days were unbelievable - I learnt which cry
meant that she wanted attention and which cry indicated hunger. My
mother was unbelievable. When Malavika cried for her feed in the night,
before I could go to the kitchen to heat up the formula, my mother was
there with the bottle ready in her hand. I could not have managed the
first month without her. She was there with me to guide me in this
totally uncharted territory of motherhood.
My Dream - My Daughter - I
My Dream - My Daughter - III
My Dream - My Daughter - IV
My Dream - My Daughter - V