Relationships  Discussion Forum

There is mismatch in me and my husband . To start with , i am married for 5 years and blessed with daughter .I never felt very happy or excited during my marriage. Not going into details which can be termed as avg life of a married indian couple.After 5 years now i am of conclusion that my hubby taste is sum1 with modern better snobish He actually is not concerned with actual qualities or character so my gud nature or other qualities does not hold much value for him in that case . He does nt need them at all. For me i feel i admire more inner qualities of a person and i like myself and respect myself as an individual . I have two option now after having that much understanding of hubby. Either to go for a makeover or be natural . I find myself enough gudluking and i am not very much modernized i.e i admire decency in person rather than showoff or snobishness. Myself cant behave snobishly.

At times i feel that its very difficult to inculcate real qualities and very easy to be like my hubby wants . but my heart and mind both does not yes for that . My world must revolve around liking of my hubby as per standard saying but i am happy with myself and dont want to change. In process gets a value depreciation from hubby .Should i care for that aspect or leave that as a part of his thinkiing and liking . last but not least i am greatly admired by all his family memebers , my inlaws . I respect their appreciation for me but i am concerned with \" a feel gud factor \" when it comes to hubby .
Thx to u all . Ashish replied. I also feel that there is a mismatch in me and my wife. I am married for last 8 yrs, we both are a little bit introvert but I talk a lot with some people whom I can trust and so I do it with my wife also. I use to tell her almost everything about my past, present and day to day life also in which she does not show much interest. But since even before our marriage I found that she does not tell me many important information e.g. once my child was having fever when he was only 3yrs old, when I returned from office I found him sitting in dull condition, when I checked and asked, my neighbour told me that he has a fever but my wife did not utter a single word. Recently I found that she is using asthmatic inhalers secretely, i passed her a hint that I got to know something, but still she is not telling me anything.
I am telling you all this because I believe that many times there could be a problem of communication. So would like to know if you have expressed your feelings and likes or dislikes to your husband. If not, pls try, he might accept your thoughts. Also I belive that a few incidents or some communication gaps should not disturb our relations because our children' s future depends a lot on their parents relationship. Transperancy and open heart communication between husband and wife can build a good relation. Eventhough I am writing so much, I am also feeling lonely and don' t know how to make my wife open her heart and tell me at least imp things and also help me to get rid of my loneliness. saheli replied. Hi,
Don’t worry,b happy.Marriage is not a bed of roses aftrall 4 any1.V need to adjust and compromise to make it work.I totally understand your concern .However, I wud suggest u 2 go 4 an xterior makeover if that makes ur man happy..aftrall that matters the most ryt :)and moreover itz not gonna change ur inner qualities in anyway . There is no harm in this.It will make U, ur hubby , ur family and ur life more beautiful and blissful for sure.

Loads of couples pay a heavy price 2 make their marriage work this is nothing when compared to those afterall he just wants to see his wife more and more beautiful and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know your worth …Some ppl dono how to properly xpress their true emotions …So,4give him,do it 4 his happiness and may b in future he will observe this and automatically change as per your wish and moreover your daughter will be looking up to you.

So,all the best!..God bless !!:)