Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi All:

I am really really depressed these days....nothing is going right for me. I am trying hard to get pregnant the regular check ups with docs so many injections and medicines and no positive results. Lots of work at office, at home, loads of pressure from society including my parents and inlaws alike. In the midst of all this hubby has started ignoring me. He is too busy with his work (Stock Broking) spends late nights looking for stock history (Thats what he tells me) and has no time to bed even if doc advises. He would bed only when he gets free that is early hours and i do not feel comfy as i wake up early in the morning. He gets angry at me for small things and has said couple of times that i am cannot do anything rightway. He also tells me that he loves me alot and cannot live without me. Few days back i saw some msgs on his mobile from some girl.... He has in past had a virtual affair with a friend of mine..... when i asked what that was he said it was his friend and not him chatting to her that way.... he logs in psuedoname on msgr and chats with someone at night. (He feels i am not aware of this). I have seen him masturbating alone in the room in closed doors while i was asleep in the bedroom. I do not know what to make of all this? Is he not interested in me? Does he not like me? Am i being too stupid of being positive and thinking that he loves me? We have been married to 3years and have been trying for a baby since. Sometimes i feel i should call it quit and have a peace of mind. I am from very conservative family and if go for a divorce it would create alot of problems for my parents. I also have a younger sister who is yet to be married. I just do not know what to do.... . I always have thought that how can anybodys advice help other person in such situations but then i need to talk to someone and i need someone to just give me options of what can be done.... Please help me semi replied. Hi there
I read through your posting. I want to talk to you as I have faced something similar or worst than that.
If you use yahoo messanger. Pls send me your id for chat.
take care.
semi Frnd replied.
I' d been thru the same phase of 3 yrs of my unexplained infertility.

Pls remember it takes a toll on husb as well as it does on us... they also need space to vent out their cries like us. We can shed tears for each failed cycle but they have to be strong to support us. Give him space.

wht he does online/ alone in bed is giving him space... many married couples donot have sexual compatibility in India in most of arranged marriages.. hence timings/ preferences of bedding under stressed condition become worse.

As of current requirement he shud be supportive for each doc visit.. give sample on designated dates and be there for you when u undergo a procedure is utmost importance.

B+ and pray for 1 positive result. Once you get child in your hand things may or maynot change but you' ll have a baby to dote on.

No marriage is perfect... as long as you are being taken well care of u stay in it. alolika replied. i can understand what ur going through. infertility can be very stressfull..im myself fighting fertility problems from 11yrs!!
From what i read about your hubby it looks like he might be having some kind of online affair with someone.. i think you should directly talk it out with your husband about your feelings and doubts. A frank talk might help. tell him you know what he is being doing at nights on the name of work. If possible take your inlaws in confidence and tell them to talk with your husband.
I know its a very difficult situation your going through. plz dont think of divorce in haste. i hope things work out well for you. i wish you luck:-)