Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am 31 yr old working mother, married for 7 yrs. My hubby says he loves me but he hardly cares for me. he is hardly bothered when i am not well, hasnt changed a bit even when he knows i am a die hard romantic. Doesnt even notice me when i am dressed well(and then when i go to work and get loads of compliments from my colleagues i miss his words more).He doesnt hv a friend circle, since he hardly talks to ppl, he hardly interacts with me too. I feel lonely sometimes and my son is the only saving grace in my life right now. I cant invite my friends families over since he doesnt interact much with them too. I miss a sense of houmour, some laugh, some conversation with ppl. even when i chat with some friends online, he keeps checking what i am writing esp when i am chatting with a male friend. He doesnt like me meeting my male friends too, so i have never met them on one on one basis after my marriage. though I hv female friends and colleages, they r too engrossed in their happy life, to go for a movie, or join a dance class with me....i love life but hasnt enjoyed it for a long time. how do i make myself happier and how do i convince myself to accept my fate? I had a heart 2 heart conv with my hubby saying what i like, etc but he hasnt changed, said this is how he is. Once when depressed, had spoken to a psychiatrist , he told me to focus on my hobbies and go for picnics etc. neither do i hv picnic groups nor can i just leave for picnics/hobbies, leaving my son behind. I need to find some peace and contentment with myself, Pls help. I hope i am not the only one with a difficult husband. Also is it wrong to meet ur male friend alone after marriage, just asking(not imp)? Mel replied. I want to ask you both something. Do you really feel that your husband doesn' t love you ? If he doesn' t love you or mistreats you, or is disrespectful to you, distant or any other issue like this, then you definitely do have the right to be upset with the situation, and have every right to believe in what S said... that you have only one life and you should live it.

But, if you are unhappy because your husband is not romantic, or doesn' t compliment you, or is watchful of you when you chat with other men, then I personally don' t feel that it is so bad.

To be honest, most husbands are a little pre-occupied with tensions about your family' s future, money matters, work pressures and so on. They don' t have the energy to try to be romantic. I' m saying this from experience. My husband is not romantic and I am. But, just like I can' t make myself unromantic, I can' t make my husband romantic. It doesn' t mean he is bad. I can sit and talk to him, and in a best case scenario, he may try once or twice, but to expect that behaviour to change is a far shot.

What I want to say in simple terms is... if it' s really bad, then move on. But, if it isn' t, then try and improve your relationship, and make yourself happier internally. About colleagues complimenting you, how do you know those same colleagues compliment their wives. Maybe they are complimenting you as you are an outsider.

And about meeting old male friends alone... I find it a bit dodgy. Would you like your husband to meet old female friends alone ? Meet them in front of your hubby. I meet old friends, both male and female, but with their spouses, and with my husband. The very fact that you want to meet them privately would obviously make any husband question your intentions. S replied. Hi.. I am also in same situation. If given an option I would prefer some other guy. I am struggling every day to convince myself. I always remember the dialogue of \" Life in Metro\" movie. Ek hi zindagi hi Di galat aadmi ke saat kaise bithaoo. Nieter my husband is bad that my conscience allows me to leave him niether is he so good that I feel like spending rest of the life with him.

We struggle so hard to make our careers and finally when we end up with wrong spouse. All the struggle seems worthless. Now I don' t understand for whome am I working so hard. On top of that I do not have kids. Not sure if I will have one.