Relationships  Discussion Forum

This is the thought allway haunts me being a women is really a curse in our society...to our parents and for us.. I am a maried women with 2 children and well educated and charming.. in very good job...was confident about the things..throughly njoyed the success .. in life..
but marriage changed evrything .. now I am scared that .. we r forgetting our basic human values..
nobody on earth deserves humilation..I was subjected to lot comments .. my MIL was behind me to put me down and attacking on my confidence.. I daily do lot of things which frustrates me a lot.. but my husband compells.. when comes to my parents they wont be spared they will be humiliated to the core..sometimes I feel cant I run away .. where was my confidence gone.. I hate to talk to people taunted me a lot.. scolded me and said bad things about me..
but evryday I smile at them.. ..with a gr8 pain in heart..my ILs are not bothered to ask how is u r parents .. are we forgetting our basic ... humanism.. to all inlaws .. when u r daughters are with u .. y cant u tolerate bahu calling her parents afterall.. she is a human.. she also needs.. her parents, she also wants to take care .like u r daughters..this is not only story of mine but lot of my indian sisters ...
ILs please please please .. understand.. and support.. each other and lets try to be humans

pp replied. This is sure a problem every woman faces.Talking about me,I faced and am still facing the problem of my ILS and even my husband,being so inconsiderate towards my parents.It hurts me a lot.AS far as my ILS attitude is concerned ,they just feel,parents of their DIL are required to be alive only to give ,give and give.Whether in occasions of celebration or mourning or even in situations of pain and grief,they should be GIVEN utmost respect,should be GIVEN complete attention and importance,should be GIVEN endless presents,either in cash or pleasing gifts.Their demands are for sure endless.
My MIL never invites or encourages my hubby to invite my parents on any kind of occasion,but she makes it a point what my parents are expected or supposed to give as gifts for the occasion.I get irked by such comments of hers' . And she goes on buzzing in my hubby' s ears ,how to keep his ILS away from home.
My husband blindly abides by their long unending lessons,and doesn' t even consider that ,even my parents are old and need to be given their due respect and support.I ,on the other end,give his parents and his sis too,complete priority over anybody else,more than myself.That' s the point ,we as woman are always giving and giving and never wanted anything back or wished for any such miracles to happen and that' s a big lesson for us.
I now understood ,nobody is going to come and help or support us,not even our parents,they indeed are helpless.We need to help ourselves.
Next time I won' t depend on my ILS for the smallest help.I' ll get my groceries,I' ll take care of my kid,I' ll spend free time for myself and more than anything I' ll take care of myself,my esteem,my self-respect and my family.
And the next time when there' s an occasion in my house,I' ll tell my parents to keep their self-respect too,and to give anything ,if they wanted to give,only if they are invited.
Sarika replied. hi lakshmi

i completely understand your trouble ,as i am in the same fix,as u told this is an inevitable problem with all DILS,however nice u be, u have to take all the taunts from ILS.but anywaz i have decided something for myself which has kept me happy regarding ILs.i have decided not to pay an ear to their comments taunts etc etc i know this is not easy but give a try.i live in different country yet my Ils create all kinds of problems.by gods grace my husband is supportive in my Ils issues to me.i have just decided that no Ils of mine exist in this world.otherwise i used to cry n hurt myself manytimes for their behaviour.now a days i am really happy.i know how emotionally hurt u r,but itz fate of we women(DILS).

god bless you
i dont involve in any talks of thirs with my husband neither do i allow them to spk abt me.