Relationships  Discussion Forum

Yeah!It' s my MIL.She' s going to be here in a month or two.I get panic attacks thinking about that.She' s a real expert in influencing my husband' s mind by emotionally black-mailing him.
All these days she was staying far from us and whenever we ask our ILS to come to our place,they openly humiliate us saying that they get bored coming to our place and that we don' t entertain them well by taking them to trips and sightseeing. Now that my MIL is finding it difficult to manage things all alone ,they may be planning to stay with us for quite a long period.
I really don' t have any problem looking after them in their old days but for the conspiracies they create ,I' m too scared.I know pretty well that my MIL would' nt mind to see us separated as she never hesitated attempting so.Any little fire of quarrel arise between me and my husband ,she' ll make sure she pours some more ghee into it.And speaking about my husband ,he gets easily influenced.And I' m scared what' s my situation in the coming days.
But what kinda ILS are these?They want their son to leave his job for a not so worthy one,to go back where they live and take care of them.But they simply deny coming to our place.No matter how much troublesome they are we always take good care of them and that' s of a total no use.
My problem is I do too much for them.I care too much about them thinking its my responsibility but in return they always misunderstand and misquote me.They poison my hubby' s ears against me and my parents.Still I would be sweet to them thinking afterall they ' ve taken so much pains to bring up their son and its natural for every parent that they keep their son in control.Till recently I paid no heed to all the venom they spilled in my life.But when I understood that my MIL wouldn' t even hesitate to separate my husband from me ,I can' t stop hating her.Now I don' t want to be sweet to them.But my husband' s sentiments and feelings for them will get hurt and I don' t want that to happen.B' coz he loves me so much as much as I love him and I don' t want to lose him.I don' t know how to handle this situation?
anonymous replied. Hi Prema,
I understand what you are saying and fully sympathize with your situation but one thing that i have realised is that we can not change anyone but ourselves. So the first step would be to learn to deal with people like your mother in law. Remember somewhere we ourselves are the reason for all the misery that surround us.First would be your inconfidence in yourself, which smart people generally manipulate to their advantage.Let your actions and body language ooze out confidence, so that your mother in law realises that you will no longer be a victim to her plotting and planning. Be good to her but let her not take undue advantage of you. As you said your husband gets easily influnced then make sure you are the one who influnces him rather than his mother. Try and be very sweet to his mother in front of him, so that even if your mother in law tries to poison his mind it will be of no use.See somewhere because you are not being strong even your husband prefers to listen to his mother, so the first step that you will have to take is be confident. Its your house, your husband and you need to be in charge of the situation. I know it is not very easy but trust me it is not that hard. Just motivate yourself everyday to think that you are a strong individual and see the miracle. Just remember, we have the power its just that we need to realise it. Let your action show that you will not allow anyone to destroy your carefully created nest and see how your mother in law will slowly give up on breaking your marraige.