Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello all of you,
It’s so late here in India and I am hardly able to sleep. We have been recently married and from the day I have come to my in-laws place I feel rejected and I feel I am not able to adjust to living in this kind of environment. My husband is the only son and he has been raised to be a true mamma’s boy. Whatever he has to do he runs to his mother and tells her. In the beginning like for 2-3 weeks after our marriage I just didn’t understand why he is behaving this way. Then I figured out that the problem lies in the way he has been brought up.
Sometimes he doesn’t even sleep in my room and imagine he goes and sleeps with his parents. Neither my fil nor my mil tells him to go and sleep with his wife. They like that their 27 years old boy comes and sleeps with them. Isn’t it funny? I have never seen such things.
Today he has gone out on some company tour so I thought of writing my problem and asking for your suggestion. One night when I tried locking my room from inside before going to sleep he said don’t lock my mother will get worried. I didn’t know what he meant. I locked it and went to sleep and in the middle of the night I heard some banging on my door and my mil was saying something in loud voice. I opened the door and she was saying why in the world you locked my child inside. I was shocked to hear what she said. The next day she got all the locks removed from the door of my room. I feel so insecure sleeping now as sometimes she enters my room without even knocking at night. I told my husband about this and he said she is his mom and it’s her house she can do anything she wants.
The other day when I had gone to work she got the locks removed from the bathroom also when she found that I used to lock it while taking shower (can you imagine that no one in the house locks the bathroom door while taking bath). But she doesn’t understand that there is a new dil and how can I leave my door unlocked. Couple of days back I don’t know by accident or what my fil entered the bathroom while I was there. It was so embarrassing.
I am undergoing all this from past four months.
Please, please help me how I can survive in such a horrible place. My husband sometimes is very affectionate but when I talk about all these problems he gives me a deaf ear and doesn’t want to hear anything about his parents.
We are only four people staying in this house and I can't share it with anyone, I am feeling so sad and lonely.
please write some suggestions. friend replied. Hi,
Ur MIL is too too possessive about her son . may be u can ask ur husband to look out for a job in different place.
I don't why parents get there sons married and then illtreat the DIL
Anyway don't worry things will become better

shaan replied. I strongly feel that your family needs consultation with psychiatrist URGENT. tejmom replied. i asked my mom for advice. she said that u should get help from your parents or try to solve it yourself like how i said , if nothing works out, tell the neighbours and others and let the mother feel shameful of the activity. but my one more advice is that there will be associations for ladies. it is run mainly to protect ladies interests. contact them and ask for advice. they will be able to do something because your situation sounds dangerous to me. i dont think you are aware of that. but dont panic because i said this. this is only to be on the safer side tejmom replied. its really shocking. i hope nothing is wrong with this family. get your parents help. that is a must. get your room lock fixed yourself. tell them you are married to their son and you belong to the family too and you have the right to put the locks. if she knocks at the middle of the night, tell her not to disturb. whether they listen to u or not is a different matter. but show your opposition. you can never survive if u get scared. fight back then they will retreat ruchira replied. hey newlywed, i have been thinking abt u a lot. a friend of mine had the same problem.. and u know wot helped her.. her hubby got a job in another city..and also.. major support was her parents. she told them... and they spoke to the son-in-law.. n persuaded him to get a new job.and now they are in autralia.. inlaws still nag her over the phone but she is away from them. newlywed replied. thanks you all for sharing your views. I seriously think that I need to openly talk to my husband and in-laws about it.
I hope he will listen to what I have to say, otherwise its so difficult to survive in such a place. I am just waiting for him to get back and get the things in place. augustborn replied. I am shocked...I cannot even imagine how you are putting up with that crap about unlocked bathroom doors.
Darling, your MIL surely needs some psychiatric help. Just put your foot down, there is a limit to everything. She can cuddle her son all she wants but only after those locks are in place.
Get it done today...either you yourself get it done or speak to your MIL and explain to her that you cannot use the restroom without the lock and ask her if she would prefer that you used your neighbours restroom... vd replied. This is really sick. Why the hell did they get their little baby married?
Please talk to them together and if you can not, please involve your parents. The girls do not inform them thinking about society, but in your case it is a concern. PLease be open and get the message across.......

dil replied. It is really shocking to hear what you wrote, but after reading so many experiences of people here and my own things, now I think anything is possible.

Talk to your husband and tell him that you want to lock your bedroom and bathroom door, this is basic privacy, be firm and if required discuss this openly with your MIL too only when your husband is present. Some evening, when you are sitting together, tell them what you feel and that you are uncomfortable leaving your door unlocked in the night. About your husband going and sleeping in his parents room,leave that for now.Do this lock thing. You have to be firm with these IL's, whether they are doing it unknowingly or purposely, they need to be told if it is as sick as this.