Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, I am a working woman living with my husband and six year old daughter. My husband does not share any responsibilities at home. His sole contribution to the house is paying the rent.Rest all I have to do. I have a very dumb maid who does not do anything properly and I have to do each and everything in the house. Something as simple as picking up a glass or putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket is too much for my hubby to do. Buying groceries, cleaning, teaching the kid....everything is my sole responsibility. After slogging so much, he expects me to be a tigress in bed. Whereas I just don' t have the energy for it. And he complains that I have a short temper-which I admit I do, but am so stressed out that the smallest thing irritates me. Even monetarily there is no support (apart form the rent)we have no savings whatsoever and this scares me. I ask him to get a new job where he is at least paid properly if not handsomely, he says that in the recession he wont be able to. Are all Indian men like this? Is this the situation with all working women? I have tried talking to my husband about this but to no avail, he just continues with the same behavior. I feel tired all the time and bitter and resentful It just doesn' t seem fair! Should I just accept it as my fate and continue in the same way?
Please help...... Akhil replied. Mel is very negative. I am also Indian and I share everything and help out my wife in everything. I am working and she will be at home only take care of home, I help her in all household work. She has to do safai only. Coz i have no time in the mornings. Pls be positive and everything will be OK one day. Try to make ur husband understand the position. Mel replied. It' s not the same with ALL indian men, but it' s definitely the same with MOST Indian men. My husband is the same.

And I have a 2 year old child in the house to care for, who is a fussy eater. We run our own firm so I have to not only work during normal office hours, I also have to stay up late and work after all housework is over.

Mine is a love marriage, and my husband is genuinely concerned about me and my happiness, but still, no matter how much I chew his brains, he is unable to change this behaviour. I think WE will go mad trying to change them.

Now, if you want to restore your sanity, this is what I figure.

NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY, OUR HUSBANDS ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. It' s their genetic programming. But, there is one thing you can change... YOUR MAID.

Please change your maid. I know that you think that it will take more time to train a new maid. But, it is better to spend that time in training a new maid, than in maintaining this useless one.

I have gone through several maids until I find one who can be really useful. You will find one for sure. Start the search and don' t stop until you find one who is truly useful.

Even after you get a good maid, there are still a ton of things that you STILL have to do, so atleast let the maid do the balance work well.