Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi Dd,

thanx a lot for writing the message n telling me ´ bout the artcles. yup they are really encouraging. Lets keep our fingers crossed for the best. I´ m really really depressed. hence wanna a frnd who can understand my problem. Though I´ m lucky to have a gud MIL n also my sister is supportive, but I always think that they wont be understanding our concerns n problems as they´ ve ne´ er gone thru this situation. hence i keep visiting this forum where at least people listen to you without judgement and also they understand you more. dunno wat to do. I´ m in a fix. I´ m ne´ er ever happy. I try to be happy but i juss cant. as soon as i see somebdy wid a kid or smbdy pregnant, i start feeling depressed. but there is hardly anything we can ´ bout it. we´ ll have to live wid it, how hard it may be. And most funny part is even if we are not happy, we´ ll have to potray that way....as people dun wanna see you depressed. lets go for adoption......this way we´ ll be helping a needy child. Lemme tell you one secret of mine. I had planned adoption since I got married. Then my husband told me to go for it only after having our baby. but everything flopped... lets see wat the GOD has in sotre for us.....only pains??????????? or few happy moments too??
all the best for your IUI...

god bless... n lots of baby dusts
Dd replied. Hi roohi,
thanks for sharing your story it gives us hope & courage to go ahead in life. i am also 33 yrs old & time is running out for me also.
Hi semi,
my heart goes out to u. i know how good it feels when u can express your feelings to the people who understands bcs they r also going thru the same. so keep sharing whenever u feel like.
i have read that god has plans for everyone many times in some of the posts in miscarriage & child loss section. and it is amazing how those girls r helping eachother after going thru very painful situations.
so lets also hope that GOD has some plans for us too & we can help eachpother by sharing our feelings with eachother.
i don´ t know whether it is possible for u to go for adoption or not. but if not try diverting your mind. I mean you can volanteer for NGO´ S who r working in child related areas, i.e orphange, or foster homes or juvenile care centre etc. or may be u can start day care or play group in your area for working mothers. i had read about one young girl. she use to collect old or broken toys from good families & used to repair them & used to distribute them amongst childrens of construction workers by going to diff. construction sites. she had even requested in her weeding invitation to guests to bring some toys as a gift for those children. this is just one example. so try & findout what u can do to lessen your pain.
i know it can heart initially to see others with children in the biginning but i have trained myself to look at it positively. i am very good with small children & all my relatives & friends children adore me a lot. last week my neice ( brother´ s daughter- 5 yr old) had a birthday party & my bhabhi was so sure i will handle all the kids- more than 20 & keep them occupied. make them play & have fun. Also whenever my co-sil visit´ s us with her daughter i invite my neice & other cousin co-sil´ s daughter at my home & play with them & have a blast.
this r just examples to give u some ides to lessen your pain. try & see what works for u.
Love
Dd
semi replied. Dear All

I read all of you stories and felt like sharing mine. I have been married from last 13 year and have tried every single dam thing to get pregnent with no success. We planned for a baby after our marriage when I joined my husband in USA. First 6 yr. went by just going to dr' for endless tests and having IUI' s with Clomid. They could not find even a smallest problem in both of us. I started feeling depressed like anything with my fertility problem, being alone in this country, facing some issues with employment and visas and what not. I went through 10 IUI' s and 4 IVF' s here and no success. There was a partial success but end result was zero.. Doctor' s told me here that having the explained infertility is such a bummer since we really don' t know what the problem is? I agree with some of you that seeing friends and relative with babies and pregnent women hurt a lot and you tend to get more depressed. Lately I have started feeling more and more depressed knowing that there is nothing dr' s can do for me and I have also sort of gone passed my fertile age. Some time I really ask God \" why me\" . Cannot understand why a woman cannot achieve pregnency when both partner are absouletly health and no issue with fertility.
Well I felt like sharing with all of you.
Good luck to all of you.
regards,
semi Roohi Dmello replied. Dear Dd and Ruvi,

Hi, my name is Roohi and I have recently joined indiaparenting. Was going thru some of the message boards and thought that i´ d share my experience with you. My case too is that of unexplained infertility. After going thru eight IUIs, I have now gone in for adoption. My son is 9 months old and I cannot explain in words the joy he has brought us. I too decided against going in for IVF. The process is too painfull, both mentally and physically (so I have heard) and moreover the success rates at my age of 35 are not so good. Going in for adoption was a very natural choice for me and my husband . Our son has brought great joy to our lives. Hope you will be able to get some hope reading my story. Take care and NEVER ever stop hoping for the best.

Regards,
Roohi
Dd replied. hi ruvi,
i really like your name. & i also like to be friends with u. well i also thought about adoption long back when i was in coledge.
i am also discussing it with my husband since long time. but bcs of changing situations of our life we couldn´ t take decision. after 6 months of marriage he was out of country for 6 month & then after coming back took up a job in another city where i couldn´ t join him for financial reason. he use to visit me once in 15 days for week end. after 9 6 months i joind him & we moved to another city far down south there we stayed for 6 month. then again he went overseas. and i joined him after 3 months. we stayed in australia for 4 years & then came back to india in our hometown 3 years back. till now we r not properly setteled. we were to go back in 3 months & then it got delayed i started working. after doing job for 2 yrs. finally i quit & started my own consultancy recently. still we r not sure about our futre as we may or may not go to australia next year.
i had lots of friend before going overseas but now everyone is scateered & 2 who r there r busy in life bcs of young kids. so i feel very lonely at times.
when we were in australia we started visiting gynec. but they said everything is ok & didn´ t suggest iui to us. we didn´ t know about it untill 6 months back. we both r very sure we don´ t want to go thru the process of ivf. as i don´ t want to spend my life saving on treatment & then struglle finanacially when we have kid bcs i will not be working for few years after kid. also this process of iui eventhough it is simple is draining me imotionally so much & i am not able to concentrate on my work. so definately not going for ivf.
well this is my life story so far and i have shared with some one unknown afte such along time bcs i feel we can be true friends in long run. thanks for reading.
with love
Dd