Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, I am in a unhappy 6 yr marraige since I had my wedding. 2 yrs ago I separated from my husband as we had so many issues and he constantly accused me of having affair with my cousins, & my friends. As I come from a very orthodox Iyer family from chennai, my parents were totally against this as it wld be an insult to my father. When I was separated I had to live with my father and worked in a company. He cursed me a lot and beat me so that I would go and live with husband. As I got no support from family I went to talk to husband which resulted in getting pregnant. Thought I dint want any relation physical or mental, I ended up getting pregnant. I hated the fact that I was carrying my husband' s kid, but dint have heart to abort. When my kid was born, my father tried contacting me so that I Wld get a good wife/mom/daughter name. Through out pregnancy my husband gave me so many problems that I shouted cried begged everyday to leave me alone. Now, my mother has come to travel back to India with me. But thing is my husband is so good to kid but he clearly stated he doesnt like to be with me, also he said he wants to be with me so that i can be the WIFE and mom to the kid. I hate to sleep with him coz i feel like garbage after the fact. He knows that but still used me before ( resulted in pregnancy ).. even now my parents dont wanna get involved or help me jus in emotional way. All i want is someone from my family to help me emotionally and tell my father that She had had enough. My husband treats my mother well, he gets everything for her, he tries to alienate her from me so that they wont help their daughter and say bad things about the perfect son in law.. its all show from his side as he is not like that at all. He chks my mails, phone calls, and monitoring everything. I want to go for divorce. But i dont know how to explain my kid in the future or how his life wld turn out. If i stay in this marraige for the sake of the kid, it wll definitely ruin him coz i dont want my kid to see husband & I fighting. Even now my parents think my husband is the best guy in the world and they hate the fact that I dont wanna live with him. they think kid will solve the issue, but thats not happening. Please any help, suggestion are welcome.. Just want somebody to support me emotionally.
raju replied. hello vindhay,
its all the way better to take divorce from his and stay with your son and find out new job for you for financial support so you will get your happiness. ruchita replied. hello vidhya,
most importantely if you want to live your life you should take divorce from him. and then only you will get happiness and you can make your son future in well manner. harshad replied. hello vidhya,
now its not only your life, you should think about your son also, in your absense if your husband will hurt your son then what you should do after this, so think for all this. dhiruja replied. hello vidhya,
file FIR against him take first step like this, whenever he start to beating you . that time show some smartness and call police or do recording so its a proof for your side. pallavi replied. hello vidhya,
its totally wrong your parents not support you at all, is they are your real parents or they are your husband parents, they think about reputation only they are not think about daughter kimaya replied. hello vidhya,
dont feel bad or guilty for yourself, you are strong and very brave girl, really i hats off to you, you tolerate all this and still you are living with this person. niraja replied. hello vidhya,
i suggest you take divorce from him and find out other understanding partner once again, if your parents against you, but you are right at your place you know, then dont afraid for take any step, create your future by your own way. sachin replied. hello vidhya,
first you take step for divorce, file complaint against your husband and file case for divorce, make good and best advocate for your issue, and solve this problem once for while, it will spoil your present and future too. rihan replied. hello vidhya,
after reading your problem i m shocked that how any husband behave in that way, like double minded, and parents also how they react on your situation , they will try to understand you, but they dont try anything. mayur replied. hello vidhya,
all this situation help to make you independent girl, so go ahead and live your life in very good and strong way, forget whatever happened with you, your happiness is more important for you, keep in mind that. kalpesh replied. hello vidhya,
your husband is so much good actor and he should try in film, your parents are so strange how they cant see them daughter pain, specialy your mom how she is doing this with you. drone replied. hello vidhya,
its totaly wrong whatever happened with you, but you are right at your place so be strong at your place , if good days not stay long time then definitely bad days also not stay for long time, wish for best time. vishal replied. hello vidya,
keep in mind that now your son is your priority but don't suffer your future for this reason try to take divorce from him and leave him because this person not worth you. rejwan replied. hello vidya,
do one thing whenever your husband beat you and used abuse word for you, then that time, keep doing recording on phone and then show this to your parents, then they will definitely keep trust on you. dadu replied. hi vidhya,
dont worry about this things, because you are right at your place, you know one things that if anyone beat us we forget and that marks remvoe as per time, but if anyone hurt by words that marks remain on mind and heart, and will never forget at all. Manu replied. Hi Vidhya, do not worry just do things which you love to do. It will divert your mind and surely help you in living a good life. IF You are not happy with the relation there is no use of continuing. Sakshi replied. It is totally wrong for your parents to only think about themselves and their reputation because for that they are risking your happiness and your life. I think you should get a divorce if you want to and look for your happiness. NN replied. See you should not think or be dependent on your parents of anyone in your family for support anymore. If you are not happy in the relation then you should get out of it as soon as possible. Your happiness is more important. kali replied. Hello Vidhay,
So after reading your problem i suggest you to get separated from your husband.Because you can't live by dying daily it would be better you stay away from your family and show them that you can live happily with out ruin your life. No Name replied. Hello Vindhya R,
First of all you do get separated from your husband because when about to know how the future will be with him there is no need to live with him.it would very hard to live with such person.And regarding your instead of supporting you and they are taking the side of your husband.