Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Augustborn,
I see you are so angry with all the In Laws of this world..In every forum I see your bitter comments about Mils and Sils, may be the reasonis you have a bad MIL or Sil but it doesn;t mean you have to generalize the problem.
Lemme ask you these questions..(as you have aske din ur last post and asked for reader's views)
1.Why we bitch about or MILs or SILs in public but hate if our brother's wife does the same to us or our mothers?
2.Why do we want our husbands to not talk to their parents with affection but want our brothers to be an obedient son even if it means ignoring or sister in laws?
Augustborn, you seem to have harbored anger and frustration because of sour relationship with your MIL or SIL, but please don't generalize this situation. I am a living proof of the sitautions wher in laws love their DILs as much as their daughters. So its not always true what you have written in your post here...
try to look for peace and harmony inside. Bitching about or generalize everybody's in laws as bad people will not give you happiness. saheli replied. Hi there,
I would'nt call this bitching. Like the other people here wrote, this is a place where we vent out so that we feel better in our daily lives and try to see the world beyond these in-laws. Atleast this board has inspired me to experience other things in life and ignore these painful in-laws as much as possible. After all I have just one life to live...
So friend its easy for you to say that people here on this board are bitching but that's not true. All the harrowing experiences that we have gone through the hands of our in-laws, the fact that we don't lash out at them but vent our feelings here is better I guess. Imagine if we revolted against the torture that we go through?? That will bring so much distress and haovc in the lives of the people around us so its better to vent it out here.
After all if you talk out your problems and see somebody else's point of view u feel so much better..
But for all my in-laws' mean and nasty behaviour to me, I have to say one thing it has made me a much stronger person. I was so naive before but now I think I can be a good politician coz that's what you have to do after marriage coz that's what your in-laws play with you- DIRTY POLITICS!!
I must say I am a pro now in this:) Well all these bad experiences have taught me a thing or two too.
So friends life is much more than the in-laws torture so lets just vent out our frustration here and move towards a more positive and bright future with our kids I guess.....
Take Care
Saheli

meera replied. Regarding generalising in-laws as bad, it is only due to our experience that we are doing it. Before marriage I had thought that she would be a motherly figure to me but alas after marriage, it was havoc for me to have such a motherly figure who leaved no stone unturned to make my life miserable. My hubby was always on her side and made things worst for me. You should thank god for blessing you with a good husband and moreover a loving MIL who considers her DIL as her own daughter. Do you realise the agony of the DIL who are considered as aliens or servants. You should also consider the agony of the DIL who are harassed/ tortured. This is a platform to vent out out sufferings and help the aggrieved DIL to comfort herself. All these suggestions many times help the DIL to build up her family.

It is right that this site is not for you since you have no problem. augustborn replied. Hi Friend
I read your post for myself very carefully and also the posts which I had posted. I agree with you that they do sound angry but then this forum is for angry women who vent their problems here. Everyone and every problem is anoynomous. Please donot consider it as 'bitching'...why not consider it as simply venting. You would have noticed that most of the people on this board are people who have issues and are not blessed with loving and caring IL's.

Now coming to your questions:
1.Why we bitch about or MILs or SILs in public but hate if our brother's wife does the same to us or our mothers?

Ans. I donot know of any woman who would 'bitch' about her IL's without any reason. Afterall, dont we all like to be loved and want peace in our lives. Only when that peace is shattered do we share our issues with others. And when its an anoyomous board like this, what better place.
Speaking for myself, I would not resent if my SIL unburdened herself regd. my mom. I am a married woman myself and would be very sensitive to my SIL's feelings and motives...

2.Why do we want our husbands to not talk to their parents with affection but want our brothers to be an obedient son even if it means ignoring or sister in laws?

Ans. You are wrong in assuming that we dont want our husbands to respect their parents. But keeping your parents respect at the cost of harrasing and humilating your wife is not my idea of respect.
Again speaking for myself, I would never want my brother to ill-treat his wife at the cost of \";respecting\"; our parents. I detest double standards and would absolutely abhor them in myself...

I totally agree with you that one should not generalise about situations and appreciate your pointing it out.

Trust me friend, we are not a bunch of people who love IL bashing for no reason. We are here to share, provide comfort and support to each other and in intervals, make each other smile...
The best part is that none of us know each other but still can feel the camaradrie.
The ladies here want to find comfort, most of the times simply some one who will listen to them and not judge them. I dont consider that 'bitching' but if you do, thats for you to judge...
I am so happy for you that you have been blessed with good IL's. Do share some good stories with us. It will gladden everyone's heart here and bring back faith in everyone's heart that its not a lost cause yet...

Best of luck and be happy! cd replied. My inlaws are horrible ...as are of the 90% dils who turn to this board.

What augustborn did was inspire some confidence that the ILs arent your world. Looking at issues humorously relives a lot of pain and negative thoughts.

Well, girl you are lucky, you had good people. You havent suffered as most of us here. If you did, you would know.

you are probably one among the 100s who turn up at this board looking for words of advise. have you read some of the posts? Truly horrifing!!

I have no problem at this generalization as long as it helps most of us. If your people are nice, tell us then how nice they have been..than attack augustborn for her views.

Bitching does give us happiness..call it that or sharing your experiences. Coz there is no one else a dil can do that with!

go augustborn go..

you shouldnt be on this board anyway if your ils are nice. be happy.lucky you.