Relationships  Discussion Forum

i am really sick of people being double standard and hippocrats.Ok I am well educated ,i really dont want to get into any arguments but my calm nature makes people think i am stupid or waht!Does this happen with me only I wonder
let me give you some examples
i have a friend all the time she used to tell me why do u want to buy some stuff when i have it (eg sewing machine)you can use mine when ever you need .once when i asked her she said mmmmmwhy dont you come to my house and stitch what ever you want to ...I was like WHAT!bUT didnot say any thing .
another friend of mine whose hubby is a doctor used to tell me always that why did you go to doctor when your hubby had fever ,for small thins like this you can come to my husband .Once on christmas holidays i was sick with throat ache and fever ,i called her only because all the hospitals were closed and the after hours hospital was 50 minutes drive from our home and she said so rudely ..why dont you go to emergency .I did not say any thing at that moment

It is not just with my friends but even my parents when i was pregnant my mom calls me up and asks me that do you have a god-bharai (babyshower)in your inlaws side in 7th month ,as it is a ritual in my moms side .I asked my MIL and said no thay dont have that but have similar kind of ritual after the baby is born .
after my son was born and it was time for that ritual my mom said i dont know much about it as it doesnt happen in our side and did not do it .on top of that she is like YOU tell me what shoul i do should i spend money for it or no .Which girl on earth would say ok spend money even if you dont want want to .I said ok dont do it and now she is like I didnt do any thing because you told me not to
I want to blast them all and ask them that do u really think i am dumb or stupid ,but i know the day i do that they are gonna be hurt and will break relation with me .
Tell me friends why is this world so artificial why do people take advantage of people who are seriously concerned about you . man replied. Hello Sujatha,

I am also the same kind of person..saying okay to frnds/family or adjusting them like anything...Once i felt that my friends are using me for their purpose, i tried to come out of it..but you know what happend to me?? that particular person told all other frnds saying that i did wrong things to him and hurted him, etc (i cannot write everything here). My total friendship circle is spoiled. Everyone believed him not me. I shocked like anything...now i' m chaning myself so that i will not move closely with anyone..this avoids unnecessary advice/help torture...
I will tell you onething...when you need help, any human being will help you, not just friends...
Now a days, love/friendship/relationship become more selfish. So try to be little selfish to yourself...
its not my advice..just my thought.
take care
a man sarla replied. hi dear,if u dont mind can u tell me which city u r 4m.me 4m calcuta,even i have faced similar prob like u.lets b fds kanta replied. dear sujatha,

its not that u r dumb n stupid but it seems that u not communicating ur feeling clearly to others n u are easily influenced by what others suggest and advice. since u have already burned ur fingers many times u need to be cautious. dealing with other people is an art and nobody is perfect at it since the beginning so there is scope for u for improvement. about ur friends...well not all of us are surrounded by perfect angelic friends... why do u say yes to their all suggestions, when ur friend suggested u not to buy sewing machine , why did u decieded not to buy it ?? why do u want obligation from her? do not do so until n unless absolutely neccessary. abt the friends being rude when u were sick...the lesser said the better.n i dont wish to comment on ur mother.
you should remember ppl will keep treating u like a dumb person if u keep showing them how incapable u r to take ur own decisions. being introvert doesnt implicates being weak or dumb. its not a tough situation... learn from ur bitter experiences n be careful next time. sujatha replied. thanks niyathi
please dont get me wrong I love my mom and she loves my kid and me like any thing .
my main question here was is it our quiet attitude that let people take our advantage and how to tackle such situations niyathi replied. i would not comment anything on ur mom, but about ur friends yes, even i experienced the same thing and after the first time itself i started neglecting them and gave then right back on their face so that they cant even dare to show their 2 different sides to me.why do u tell ur friends that u have to buy this and that, the more personal things u share with them the more they interfere and give their junk ideas.. dont discuss everything with ur friends. and world is full of such people we need to decide how to deal with them.