Relationships  Discussion Forum

To answer this question, only the following are needed.

1. Are you and hubby are healthy?
2. Are you and hubby are wealthy?
3. How much time you both can spend with kids in a day?
4. Do you have enough idea about the basic needs of kid, like school, college?

i can put so many more questions here but above qstns are more than enough to fix your mind.

Even if you have 2 normal delivery, the chance of third baby is little bit risky only because of the changes in lifestyle. Many doctors advice ladies to stop after 2 kids. This will affect even healthy female to get sick after 3rd kid. If this is the case for normal delivery, then the risk is really 100 more in case of c-section.
First of all, mother & father should be healthy to raise their kids until they reach their college. You may think that you can improve your health after delivery. After delivery, your kids need your attention. If you give more attention towards your health, then the situation of kids will become bad. Kids will understand the situation becasue they have no choise. But you will not be able to show/give your entire love and affection to your kid.
Olden days, we lived in a joint family. So even 16 kids for a couple is possible. When number of kids increase, your love/affection/time for each kid gets divided by the number of kids. This situation is okay in olden days because, there are lot of people at home to give love/care/affection to kids. Now especially when both are working, its really a bad idea to go for more than 2 babies. You can give good wealth to your kids but not love.
Children need love. They dont know about money.

In olden days, the world is not so competitive like today. Even without proper education, people did business and survived. But now the world is so competitive. We have to grow our kids in such a way that they will survive in this world. 10yrs ago, the cost of 1grm gold is below 400rs. But you know the cost today. This shows how the cost of living is increasing day by day. compare the situation 10yrs back and now and think of the situation after 10yrs and decide whether you can grow up your kids without any difficulty.
Olden days, people thought that babies are god' s gift and God will give way for each kid. If you think that will workout today, you can go for 10 babies.

Noorjahan, There is a question coming in to my mind. You love kids. Do you love them when they grow up? or your love will reduce after they grown up?
i will put the question like this: DO u love kids only if they are below 3yrs old?
Because from your post i realised that you love the innocent activities of kids. This shows how selfish you are...just because you are being happy, you are going for kids one after another?
Already you are working. How much time you are spending with other two kids every day? when you go for third one, how do you manage your time with other two kids? Even if you make them to do their needs themselves, do you think that much is enough for other two kids? will you do the same with the third kid too to go for 4th kid?

gg question is right. She asked the way she ask her close friend. gg' s thinking is positive towards the kids. But you are thinking towards your happiness only and not bothering about kids...

i am not here to hurt anyone or support anyone...
just thought of sharing my views...
Indian Lady indian_lady replied. I dont need to tell this..but i am a mother of a 10yr old boy..Just to make sure that you are not assuming anything by your own.
I too post all the things based on my experience and the people i saw in my life time...
If your love dont get divided, i am happy but that is not happening in all the families.
Noor, you talked only about kid and kids behaviour and your happiness on kids and that lead to another baby. You can read all your old posts.
If you love all your kids even if you have 10 kids, i dont have any problem. My thought is, lot of people are thinking only for number of kids but not their life...
If you only want to argument, i am not the person. You should accept the fact also...
Indian Lady mother replied. Ask any mother on earth if their loves divides with more children .. There is only one answer \" It multiplies \" Where did u get this theory from ???

Can any mother love her child less when its under 3 and less after that ...??
Answer is a BIG NO !!!

We love all phases of their life ... innocent baby .. newly independent preschooler.. arguing school goer ... teenager who thinks why are his parents so difficult... etc etc suhani replied. Our posts reflect sense of discomfort and frustration we are undergoing. Undercurrents are quite visible. A simple question and all kind of weird, valid, invalid replies. Hats off to we the Indians. We are simply great and so creative in proving wrong right and vice versa.

Thank you Chetana for liking my views. People who do not have kids will not be able to appreciate them as it need lot of passion and absolute devotion to understand them. Sorry I do not claim to be best of the parent but yes I do try to spend all my spare time with them . No offences but I have seen and observed that working ladies are doing better justice in raising a kid. They are confident, earning good and most importantly always updated on all the fronts be it stock market, happenings, computer application list is endless.

My dear Indian lady your love for each kid keep on increasing with the passage of time there is no such criteria love 90% if kid is below 3 or 75% if above that nope always more than 100% irrespective of the age , number or gender of the kids.

Kids are the major bonding factor to sustain any relationship be it with hubby, in laws. They make your life worth living and complete in totality. You need to sacrifice your self to make life comfortable for the kids. Six months of exclusive BF than weaning off process of raising them , admission problem . But all efforts are worth when you see their innocent smile with one tooth missing .



Suhani
chetana replied. I was restraining myself from writing but just had to add my two cents at the way this discussion was turning. Noor was asking a simple if it was OK to have 3 c-sections. Give her an answer to that and stop period ,if you know. I cannot understand for the life of me, as to why we are adding so many replies and threads and being so judgemental. It' s not really upto us to say how many kids can somebody have or not ,whatever be the reason. Even though ,this was not addressed to me ,I do take strong offense ,coz me and my Dh are planning a large family and I don' t like to be criticized.
And from your reply I take that you don' t have kids yet.
Quote
First of all, mother & father should be healthy to raise their kids until they reach their college. You may think that you can improve your health after delivery. After delivery, your kids need your attention. If you give more attention towards your health, then the situation of kids will become bad. Kids will understand the situation becasue they have no choise. But you will not be able to show/give your entire love and affection to your kid. You can give good wealth to your kids but not love.
Children need love. They dont know about money.
Unquote
I can tell you from experience (I have 3 kids already) that my love for kids has never dimnished. It' s only growing every day. yes ,I do take care of myself after delivery ,but am I going to be bed ridden just becoz I had a baby? My children love their new baby sibling so much and can' t imagine giving them anything more loving.Pregnancy and child birth is natural and not a disease to be recuperating from. The moment you see your new born smile at you or the silly yawn and when the big brother or sister treat them like gold ,your heart just melts away (Im getting sappy here)
And all your qs to Noor , why should they be of any concern to you ? Whether she can devout her time or provide their needs or anything. And to call somebody selfish ,I find that extremely insulting. Like I said before ,I love kids .I' m going to have a big family of biological and adopted kids.
Oh and the disclaimer about not wanting to hurt anyone ,give me a frigging break.You honestly think nobody is going to see through that bull?
This website needs a lot of moderation. I don' t think people can get away with whatever they say
With that said , Im bowing out of this discussion and I really couldn' t care less if my post gets deleted for my rude tone.
It was well and only intended to Indian-lady ( or is that a guy who' s masking )