why????? - Miscarriage and Child Loss Discussion Forum

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Miscarriage and Child Loss:why?????

2007-01-08

Name: neha all,
long silence from me.
but was reading your replies all this time.
dont know what do i say.
thanks for understanding me.
yes k radha , i did think about it and do believe that he truly loves me.
4 of my neighbours conceived round the same month as me. i had a miscarraige. but never linked it to their babies.
it was 2nd baby for 3 of us.
ok after she had the baby this lady priya, told her son not to play with my daughter and tell her that he will no longer play with her as he has his own brother now while she has no one.
that small boy so innocently came to me and told me that his mom asked him to say this but he still wants to come over and play.
why , why drag my daughter into this???????
he said that to her, but she is too small to understand.
dreading if this happens again.
saw ishanis photo, cant stop crying. a lovely baby. now she is in peace and knows nothing but happiness.
neha

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all,
long silence from me.
but was reading your replies all this time.
dont know what do i say.
thanks for understanding me.
yes k radha , i did think about it and do believe that he truly loves me.
4 of my neighbours conceived round the same month as me. i had a miscarraige. but never linked it to their babies.
it was 2nd baby for 3 of us.
ok after she had the baby this lady priya, told her son not to play with my daughter and tell her that he will no longer play with her as he has his own brother now while she has no one.
that small boy so innocently came to me and told me that his mom asked him to say this but he still wants to come over and play.
why , why drag my daughter into this???????
he said that to her, but she is too small to understand.
dreading if this happens again.
saw ishanis photo, cant stop crying. a lovely baby. now she is in peace and knows nothing but happiness.
neha

K.Radha replied. Dear Neha

I am sorry that your little girl may have lost a play mate but this woman has acted foolishly & presumptuously. Any mother with more than one child will agree that she will regret the added freedom she has had when her son & your daughter play together. Is she someone you would consider a friend? If so why not go and speak with her. It can not hurt to hear her side of things by letting her know her son is under the impression that he'll no longer be able to play with your child. Let her know how happy the two children are together & ask if they might remain friends. You might even ask her to have tea one day as the children play. Sometimes our own sensitivities can cause problem to arise when there need be none. Perhaps this woman feels like her own life, her son's life will be filled with the new baby. But who knows... She might be just plain out nasty!

Your little girl has lost worse things than a playmate. She is strong for her age and no matter what difficulties she faces all you need to remember is that you taught her strength from an early age. She will grow into a wise and feeling woman. If she looses a friend, so what! She will have many more before she becomes a woman and to be sure one of her closest friends will be the sibling you're yet to bring home. Be happy that your daughter has a tremendous mother such as you. sanila replied. ishaani iz truly a star..cant stop myself frm crying...she iz an absolute angel frm heaven neha replied. www{dot}geocities{dot}com/oneidkat/ishanimichaela{dot}html sanila replied. wherez ishani's pics posted??i cant wait to see that lil angel in peace

2007-01-10

Name: K.Radha
Subject:

for neha

Dear Neha

I am sorry that your little girl may have lost a play mate but this woman has acted foolishly & presumptuously. Any mother with more than one child will agree that she will regret the added freedom she has had when her son & your daughter play together. Is she someone you would consider a friend? If so why not go and speak with her. It can not hurt to hear her side of things by letting her know her son is under the impression that he'll no longer be able to play with your child. Let her know how happy the two children are together & ask if they might remain friends. You might even ask her to have tea one day as the children play. Sometimes our own sensitivities can cause problem to arise when there need be none. Perhaps this woman feels like her own life, her son's life will be filled with the new baby. But who knows... She might be just plain out nasty!

Your little girl has lost worse things than a playmate. She is strong for her age and no matter what difficulties she faces all you need to remember is that you taught her strength from an early age. She will grow into a wise and feeling woman. If she looses a friend, so what! She will have many more before she becomes a woman and to be sure one of her closest friends will be the sibling you're yet to bring home. Be happy that your daughter has a tremendous mother such as you.

2007-01-11

Name: K.Radha
Subject:

Neha...

Hi Neha,

When you put it like that I am sorry I didnt just jump in and say what an absolute sow that she is! After everything you've done for her she is going to go and dump on you like that, to have brought up the past with the sole intention of being nasty is wicked. I am so sorry Neha, sorry you're putting up with thi and sorry that she's behaving this way. All I meant by my earlier post is that when it comes to our little babies we can be a bit sensitive... With regard to your situation there is no denying she's just a bi*%h! People like her eventually suffer for causing others hurt like this. Frankly you're better off with her out of your life! Friends like that are the last thing any one needs.

2007-01-10

Name: neha
Subject:

for K.Radha

Dear K.Radha,
yes it could be that my own sensitivity is blowing this thing out of proportion even if there might be nothing to it.
but anyway i dont want to pursue it any further or talk to this lady. my daughter is perfectly fine. yes u are right she is quite strong she told the little boy that she doesnt want to play with him if he doesnt want to. actually theres nothing to it, its just that she is very social and has got lots of friends. so if she is ok with it ..........
its just i who was hurt by the comment. how can anyone bask in someones loss?
this lasy had a lot of dizzines during pregnancy and stays in a nuclear family. i took care of her son day in and day out. he used to come over to my place. when she was in the hospital he was in my house most of the time. i made his favourite dishes, made sure he doesnt get very lovely without mommy.
and inspite of all this how could this lady say something like this to my daughter?
well u cant stop tongues from wagging just hope it doesnt happen again. and i will prepare my daughter for it if it does happen.
somehow i cant believe having a sibling will make the older child want o leave all his/her friends. a sibling is diffrent and so is a friend.
neha

2007-01-09

Name: sanila
Subject:

ishaani

ishaani iz truly a star..cant stop myself frm crying...she iz an absolute angel frm heaven

2007-01-09

Name: neha
Subject:

sanila

www{dot}geocities{dot}com/oneidkat/ishanimichaela{dot}html

2007-01-09

Name: sanila
Subject:

wherez?

wherez ishani's pics posted??i cant wait to see that lil angel in peace

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