Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, M eand my boyfriend of 6 yrs are now planning to get married. now that we are discussing our married life, he is saying that one thing he will never do is live separate from his parents. i like to be independent and i like to have my own place that i can decorate and stuff myself. i am having a hard time adjusting to the concept of living with inlaws. they are nice but i want a place that i could call my own. Please advice me on how to convince him, or how to deal with it. yuppy replied. Yep, like the other folks I would have to say that you'll have to choose between having this guy as your life partner & or not living with these in-laws.
If he is so dear to you then you'll have to take the plunge & work your way out of it. And regardless of whether or not you marry this person you will have to deal with in-laws. Theres no escaping. Unless you find another person who doesn't have this situation. Given that that relationship may also have its own set of problems. You could try to convince your BF, but be prepared for the worst. There again are a few scenarios:
1. who knows if you're stars are lucky eventually he'll realize what you're going through & will do as you please. 2. You could win over your in-laws & they'll let you live as you please. And it might be a blessing for you in disguise. But that'll take learning how to handle them. And I should stress \";win them over\";.
Either ways theres no free lunch. You just have to deal with what life throws at ya.
Good Luck !! smiles replied. Hi Sonia,
I have been raised in the states and i've dated by BF (now my husband) for a very long time before we got married. He wanted to live with them right after we got married and I always said no. I am the same way. Living with desi in laws you don't get any privacy at all. You are only thinking of decorating your place, but bigger issues can arise such as when u have kids and family function. Your family vs his family etc... I think you should explain to ur BF it's great to love one's parents but distance can be good too! I think your marriage will be in jeopardy if u live with the in laws. Especially when u are newly wed you are getting to know each other and trust me dating someone and being married to them are two totally different things. If he still doesn't see your point then tell him to find a girl with differnt views. I just don't understnad indian men and their parents!!! It's time to cut the Umbilical cord for god sakes. Good luck! Raju John replied. Your life will turn as hell if you marry this person. Try to find a person having your own way of thinking. What ever you lost in this relation, forget it.
Try to open a new chapter.