Relationships  Discussion Forum

I will try and be as brief as possible with my query.

I am living in US with my hus and kid. I feel i am one of the unfortunate women in this world. i never had a peaceful childhood. I came up in a household where i have seen my parents fighting day in and day out. I have no siblings i was always a lonely person. I shd mention onething my parents love me a lot.

Somehow god gave me strength and i did good academically and managed to get a good job but unfortunately i started liking someone and thought i was in love when we presented the case to parents they were aganist it due to many reasons and i thought it is better to forget it now rather than make my parents unhappy i felt that i cannot live happily when they are sad.
I decided to get married to their choice.

I got married but slowly i realised that our frequencies dont match i am a very emotional and sensitive person. My husband thinks i am acting when i cry i dont feel he cares for me. I need to admit that i did a mistake the guy whom i mentioned earlier had written to me after few months of marriage and i wrote him back my husband found this out and when questioned i told him abt it but promised never to keep in touch. I have kept the promise till date but the damage was done in my marriage. My hus doesnt seem to trust me anymore. To add to my agony he is a mama' s boy and my MIL is great she will never talk and fight openly but will provoke FIL and my hus to fight with me. To add to this misery my parents and they dont get along well too.

My inlaws came for my delivery and have filled so much venom into my hus mind that my situation is become more worse i cant talk with my mother any more, i lost my father recently and since i dont have any siblings i feel i shd take care of her but i am not able to do anything for her. I am suppose to talk only in presence of my husband and that too on speaker phone. i feel so humiliated but dont know what to do. I can find some way to talk to her but in case my husband finds it out he will loose the trust on me so i am just bearing. She is financially in a very bad shape and i cannot do anything for her now. I dont work and even if i did my hus will ctrl the finances for sure.

There is no use of talking to my hus as he will not understand anything what i say morover he also feels that we dont gel together. What shd i do HVT replied. Dear mmm,
Sanjana is right, you need to work if possible and send some amount to your mother.

As for your husband, try explaining to him, that suppose his mother was in a similar position, then what? Wouldn' t he want to support her? Same way, she is your parent, (as well as his, i believe, same way that we females are supposed to take on responsibility of their husband' s parents), so if he is unable to provide for her, then at least he should support you when you work and send her something.


As for working, I understand your baby is still small, so that is where his additional support is required.

Depending on his mood/nature, use some idea to explain this to him.

I hope he understands!

All the very best. And kudos to you for even thinking of working with a small child to take care of!
Sanjana replied. Solution is simple..since you are educated find some work..or other alternative to make money like doing catering, baby sitting for working mothers etc..and I hope he doesn' t havbe any objection you sending money from your earning.