Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi there


I really want somebody to call me mummy....and usual things with children..
I have a kid 3 yr old with autism not started speaking yet
I really want second child ..
But thinking that ..who wll take care of my first child during this..
My parents and my inlaws are busy with their other children some with studies and some with their deliveries and their normal children
Nobody think of us..Nobody says to have another child..Me and my hubby are less talkative And now most ignored....My hubby don' t understand this..
He is now afraid of children specially if our..
He plays good with other children .. of his sister' s ..When I asks why don' t u play with our child he says..Our child is like that...
I don' t find any support ..really feeling lonely..
And life is becoming more difficult now..with my first child and thus with our too
please help
Anybody with similar situation??? smita replied. Hi...

Thanks for your kind words..
That really gave me strength ...

Let me tell you one thing that One of the biggest problem is my Hubby..He never support me...Never listen me..We stay in US ..Still he listens to his parents in India.. Whom should I tell my feeling, my agony......Me Myself was broken How can I bring up my child ..
Once I was pregnant my son was 1 that time ..So thought that if that child was in this world that would have help for me and my son..That was one of the thing I started this topic..
Sorry If bothers

I do lot of prayers , for good thoughts read good books

Again for this child I believe my husband and his family guilty they are responsible for that bad circumstances..
I hate to remember those things ..but always comes in my mind......
I can' t sleep properly..

BUT SURELY WILL TRY TO MAKE LEMONADE WITH IT.........
WILL MAKE HIM USEFUL

I Really Thankful for your good words, thoughts At least somebody hear my voice..
Thanks to IndiaParenting hi replied. hi smitha

now only i read your message and really want to write this. dear friend, i can understand you dear. don' t think about others not helping you out. your child needs you. and whatever he is in you are there for him. i know, you are, let me tell you show a lot of love affection and lead him. he is a real gift to you. our earthly life is short and unreal deal. you and your child really took this challenge for some particular reason. not to forget your hubby. be a winner. don' t be dissappointed or deppressed. you can win this. you are there for your child. and also dear, Lord is not blind or somewhere far. He is with you always. ALWAYS. trust. be happy. dear friend, your kid is not different from anybody. in his mind he is calling you ' MAMMA' . listen to it dear. enjoy life with him. take everything easy with confidence and trust in God and be a winner.

u know,they say IF LIFE GIVES YOU LEOMONS, MAKE LEMONADE WITH IT.

ask your husband play with your kid. make him active and make him part of everything you guys are doing. talk to him. . pray always. take this challenge and win over this dear. love you a loot . will pray for your family. keep away all negative thoughts and fill your mind with good and positive thoughts. Pete replied. Hi Smita,

After reading your post, I did a good reading on Autism. I can understand how painful it is to parent a challenged kid. But its time you keep the pain off and take actions to get your child gain confidence and courage to lead a life of a normal kid. Let me tell you that LORD is not merciless that he gives challenged kids to some parents. If you notice them they are far superior than the normal kids in one or the other areas. Its time you look and identify that strength and work towards it.

You did mention that you and your hubby are introverts. Well This also could be the reason why your kid is taking time to speak. From the time the kid is born you need to speak to the kid. They may not understand what you say, but they are sure to pick up the words and the lip movements. I have seen many parents complain that their kids don' t talk. But if you really look into their life, you will hardly see the father and mother speaking to the kid or withing themselves.

Now you guys need to consciously put in a lot of effort to help your kid. I won' t recommend you to go in for a second child, especially since you said your parents and in-laws cannot be with you. With no help and your hubby' s attitude to your 1st child is a dangerous situation to be thinking for a second child.

Speak to your hubby and tell him or make him understand that he need to spend a lot of time with the kid. You guys should stop considering him unusual and treat him like a normal kid. You need to shower him with loads of love and affections as for some years its only you guys who will be his friends and guide. Your child can pick up every emotions. So any indifference shown to him will really break his heart.

So stand up Smita. Its time, you and your hubby get together and spend time with your kid. You guys need to read a lot and I am sure you can change your kid. Don' t worry about relatives and in-laws and support. You guys can do wonders if you want to. So stop looking for support and blaming your fate.

Just follow these simple steps:

Decide what you want to do on a daily basis.
Take action, do it even if you mess it.
Keep pushing your brain and body as far as possible to support your kid. Speak to him. Take him to places and parks and let him be around children. Moreover you guys need to talk a lot between your selfs.



Cheers!

Pete