Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am in a dilemma and here’s is my problem – ours was love marriage and married since 4 years, for 2 and half yrs after my marriage I have lived with my in-laws alone for a year and half because my husband was away for further studies and we really didn’t have a peace of mind , even for single day.. There were problems, fights, and etc many things.
Since last year I moved out with my husband and they also moved to another state due to my FIL’s Job position. They are extremely wealthy and have lots of money. But here is the problem and I don’t know how to look at it. Whenever they call us. .the only thing they will tell us is how Lonely they are., they feel that we are not giving them enough attention in life, we don’t consider their money as ours ,, basically they are portraying that they are very emotional these days because of staying away from us.. And will always insist that I and my husband should not just think about our careers... we should make some sacrifices in life in order to keep the family intact and together... they will pick up any small incident and will make it sound that we don’t include them in our decision making process.. Which is not true because My husband always discuss things with his dad... but inspite they claim that they are lonely lonely and we should do something... basically many times they keep mentioning that we all should move back to India and stay their together as there are many career oppurtunities in India these days.. I feel that somehow they don’t want us to be independent financially… they want to control the whole finance and have upper hand on everything.
I am not sure what how to take this thing... are they really having some genuine problem or this is all out of insecurities. This mentally disturbs me and my husband becos we are both doing very well in our careers and we have potential to do much more. Please advice how to look at this, my other fear is that as foar as possible I would not like to stay with them because of my previous bad experience I had... on the other hand when they say things to my husband it worries.

asira replied. hey puja...i jst want to say..dont take any decision in a hurry..ur in laws are feeling insecure , in fact they are not wrong from their point of view at this age but since u people are doing well there and as u told problems do arise living with the in-laws...so u have to be very clear and firm in what actually u want....see u ahve been living independently for long and even ur in laws have been into that independence without u people there..once u move to that same place lots of adjustment will be required..u or ur husb can tell them clearly that though there is definitely no shortage of opportunities in india but still u may not be in the same place where ur oin laws are ..the opportunities will again make u move from one place to other..u cant get everything sitting at one place u know..so make it clear and let them understand that they shouldnt be so possessve....dont give them any hope make it very clear from the beginning otherwise this will continue..and before that make ur husb understand all the issues between u and ur in laws..

all the best