Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hi,
i have been regular reader of this site.
i had to abort my first child because of medical reasons. now we are again trying for a baby...im ok but still i am unable to forget what happened with me in my first pregnency so i am scared to get pregnent again.i never wanted to abort that child but doctor said that child might be not normal so its better to terminate.i have lost all confidence in myself that i can bcome mother again.we did all test required which was normal so he said we can start planning again and be positive.But im still very upset as to y it happened to me only?i want my own children but SCARED OF CONCIEVING. Tell me what should i do.my grief has minimised with time but has not gone completely.My husband wants that we should try for next baby as doc also says its fine....but im too scared.im under great stress that if i get pregnent how will i complete full term.im very upset...plez tell me as what to do and how o think positive.Sometimes i think i should not have listened to the doc and continued pregnency even if child had abnormalities.child is child whether normal or abnormal.atleast i would have been happy to have a baby.but my hubby thinks differently...he feels docs are right.i know that our child was not growing normally when ultrasound was done,but whats the harm if the child is not normal.im very emotional person but i feel docs and hubby are insensitive.there are so many treatments nowdays.doc feel i can get pregnent again with everything fine, but what about sorrow of loosing a baby.what should i do?should i really try next child.i dont believe in anything.God has been UNFAIR with me.what should i do?PLEZZ someone give me sensible advice. no one understands me. tense replied. Thank you very responding to my mail.I just hope all goes well next time.when things go unexpectedly then you are in state of denial and shock.i am not shocked now,but yes in state of denial.Anyways thanks. Pratheeksha replied. Dear Friend,

I am very sorry to hear your loss and know what you must be going through. It takes time for such wounds to heal, but what is over is over and you should be optimistic over the future.

Since the doctors are aware of what happenned last time, they will be able to take care of you properly the next time so that the same episode doesn't repeat. And don't worry, this happens to many women, be brave to face the future. Take good care of yourself and forget the past as though it never happenned..it's not so easy, losing a child is a very sad experience and I know because I've also lost one too, but you have to overcome your fears and pray for the best next time.Just don't hurry into things, till you have emotionally overcome your grief.Make sure that you are in excellent pre-pregnancy health before you conceive, visit your doctor and see if you need to do anything beforehand, take your folic acid and food well and as soon as the result is positive start your regular appointments with the doctor. Your doctor has assured you that the next time, it'll be ok, so trust in that word and leave the rest to God.Keep yourself occupied so that you don't get time to ponder over the past. Just remember that your next baby will give you much more joy than any of the grief you are going through.

Wish you all the best.