Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Everyone

I live in Sydney, have a 10month old son. Me and my husband have been having arguments about little things which i know is normal in any situation but what makes this different from others is that its an ongong thing. He is so ehoistic that if i dont speak to him for days he will not turn his head. He stops doing the daily chores of the house, and everytime we fight he just wants to throw me out of the house. For him his friends are everything and when it comes to me and his son we are not a priority. We dont have any normal conversations anymore because he thinks i know nothing and basicly treats me like i' m his glorified servant. i dont know what to do. Do i just keep living like my life has no meaning or do i do something about it by moving out... How do i manage my little one. I do have a job and it does pay well but still when i think of rasing my child alone with all the indians staring at me like i have made the biggest mistake of my life and most of all how will i make my little on understand when he' s older???

Please someone help!!!! tina replied. hi dear,i think now days its common problem and if stay farfrom india then its pretty commoon..becoz u has to do everything alone...even we havealso bad fights,,my hubby is also same as u have ..he never let him down...so now i decided the problem is only MOUTH..so if u speak less for couple of mth,,,and try to calm uself maybe u will feel diff,,now days i also started thinking i have to live like individual ..do things which u like most,,, give him SPACE...I hope everything would be ok ritsika replied. Hi ,
It' s sad but true that we never respect or give priority to our loved one' s till the time we lose them.
Personally i feel, u should stop having expectations from your husband.The moment we expect, and in case our expectations are not met up we feel dejected,frustrated and sad.If you love someone , dont expect the other person to have the same or similar amount of feelings for you.If your husband is not interested in speaking to you,even u dont bother to speak to him,he prefers spending time away from you let him have the pleasure of doing so.Let him live his own way,and then see the difference.We can never bind anyojne in a relationship and the best way to judge our relationship is to set the person free..whom we love the most,if they come back,they are ours,if they dont they never were.Trying living life the way he wants for somedays and see the difference,the more you go away from him , more closer he will try to come to u.At the same time,dont stop urself from appreciating small things about him which u feel are genuinely true abt him,stop being naggy,dont comment on anything even if u didnt like it,and please let go off your ego..its not needed between a couple.Dont give urself any options,cos when we have one,we seldom give our best.All the best..Hope ur married life is filled with love n happiness again very soon.Take care. Advisor replied. Before you take any major decision, this is my suggestion you can try. Stop trying to change your husband, and stop arguing, care for him ( though you may not feel love for him), try to accept him as an individual ( not necessarily as a husband), give him space, do as much chores you can, try n hire help wherever you can, grocery deliveries, house-cleaning, take-outs etc.

Start doing things you enjoy and stop complaining about things he enjoys. If he loses his temper, acknowledge it but don' t react.

As far as your kid is concerned, don' t worry about he bonding with the kid, you try and bond as much as you can, get some good audio books on parenting, listen to them while you feed your baby or chant something when you feel you are going to lose your temper. Give it a try for couple months, if your husband is still not affectionate or doesn' t behave like a part of the family then think of alternatives but with a very cool head while continuing to work on your marriage. hm replied. i m in a similar situation,, i.e friends given importance over me.. i tried everything but now i have given up on one thing we cant change any one , u have ur own set of friends start showing that even u have people who care about u... i think these days its not very difficult to bring up a child being single...