Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi guys,

I need your advise. Mine is littlebit different problem. Actually i came to USA in 2003. After 8 months of stay i have to go to India as my father-in-law died. So my husband and i went to india and stay approximately 25 days. In this 25 days of stay , i stayed to my mom's home just for 2 days. At that time i did not say anything because the occassion was sad and i don't want to hurt my hubby and at the same time , i don't know when i will see my parents again. But eventhough i didnot say anything and i stayed only 2days at my parents home. After the 8months, one of my sister-in-law got married but i didnot go because of finacial situation. So my husband is the eldest in the family now so he went to india for around 22days for marriage.
Now in 2006, i delivered beautiful babyboy.In jan, i want to go to India, but problem is one of my sister-in-law is not married yet. We are desprately looking guys for her. She is doctor.
I will start my job next oct as one of the company will going to sponser my H1B next April. I am also pharmacist. Right now, I am thinking to go to india as after company will file my h1B it is not possible for me to go to india and the second thing is in summer i don't want to go india because it is the first time for my baby and it is good if i go in winter. As my hubby is the big brother, we have to arrange marriage and we have to do everything like moneywise too. like all marriage kharcha and everything. I don't have any problem with that too. But the problem is if i go in this Jan and if we could not find any guy for her and i came back USA. After that immediately, if her marriage will be deciaded and then i have to go again because this is the last marriage and i have to attend as i didnot attain the other marriage. But u know i have to spend money for two times and marriage kharch everystuff like that.
But if marriage did not decided then and if i didnot go to india because i wait for her marriage , then i feel i am loosing the best chance to go to india in jan. I want to stay for atleast 2 months. I feel that i am loosing the best opportunity because once i will start job, first of all i don't know whether i will get the day off or not and second thing if i get days off then it will be not more than 3 weeks. I don't want to sacrifice again. I already did lot of compromise in my life. I want to do whatever i liked to do. I am really confused what should i do. Can i go to India and enjoy or i should stay and wait for her marirage? I want to become strond and want to make decision for the good of myself and for my baby. please help me. I really need ur advise. Also rightnow my finacial situation is tight but it will improve because i am starting job in this next oct. Rightnow my husband is the one who is working . i used to work but after my baby i stopped and i will start my job agian as he will be year old in next may. fd replied. yeah i totally understand your problem....u desperately want to go in Jan as that the right time for u and baby before job . But then again u r not sure of marriage and dont want to spend again.

But tell u what, we cannot decide on this. its totally where u need to take decision or ask ur hubby what to be done.

And if its on marriage that u wait....it can happen any time....checkout what are the chances of the marriage if its anyhow in this year ....then u should wait.

And if u thing that above all , u will not get another opportunity then go and then u again go in the marriage, as it wont be a good idea of not going in the marriage.

And see, u are there since long and now u also will be earning....so u can always earn to compensate for the extra trip.

I think Go ahead with the trip & be positive, might be that ur SIl marriage get arranged during ur visit.