Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi
I m 26 yr old, mother of 1yr old married for 3 years. My husband is so much dominating. We live in a joint family. I m working. He used to decide my dress ups, my tailor, dress colors. we usually have a big fight if any day he finds me looking good or smart. he is so much possessive. and he dont believe me too. being a typical orthodox male he thinks any gal who had schooling in a convent co-ed must hav had few affairs. I m fond of reading but he decide wat i shud read. he wants me to live in pardah. Being an educated muslim lady i know pardah is very personal matter to me. I hav liberty to choose...
Some of my friends mite think that wats wrong in a pardah but i say i know how to handle myself wearing salwar suits i cover my body very descently. after my engagement he asked me to wear tht u shud wear churidaar it look good on slim gals but now he finds it tht wearing tht i want to attract other males. all his assumptions abt my character is superficial only as i did nothing to loose his trust.
he even check my moble call history sms and phonebook and ask occassionally wichever number he finds unknown.
I fell hopeless and disheartened.
Plz sombody help i want few more discussions in this topic ........plz meri help karo j replied. i have the same problem but the only difference is i look into my boyfriend's stuff. i check his email, phone etc. but i only do it because i love him, it makes me really jealous when he talkes to friends who r female, i fighed with his friends who r girls, THEY dont talk to him, he gets mad, then says he loves me, u r my sweety.
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i thinks ur husband is afraid that he might lose u, i think he loves u a lot, he cares for u,
talk to ur husband! Shanthi replied. Hi dear,
Tell him that,As long as you wear decent dress it doesn't matter.IT IS ALL DEPENDS ON HOW WE ARE..you see when the men react??..if you show your decent face, any man dare to see you in a bad manner??no matter how beatiful you are...only when we react the opposite sex reacts...that is what i realised in my life.this is just my opinion.Sorry if i hurt any religious aspects. xxxx replied. Hey,

I just read your post. I have seen some people with kind of behavior earlier. As my opinion they won't change. Only thing you can try you also start touches him little bit and see how things work. ether he can realize what he is doing. You understand what i mean right. Some women do doubt on there husbands always. So try start that trick. If he is intelligent enough then he should understand your pian. I don't know this works or not. Take him to philosophical seminars something like that. But i am not sure with that kind of mind set they don't get anything. Just try to find out the root for his behaviour.From where he get that.Has he has that from childhood or he got that behavior by seeing some wrong things.For everything there must be some reason behind it. Just find it and see what you can do with that and finally time can solve the things.Once you are getting older he may forget about that.Best of luck