Relationships  Discussion Forum

Another thing Sagini whenever i ask about calling less he is like i am being more responsible by not spending money on phone calls if u want u can call.You know he belongs to financially very well off family.A business class family.he himself has rs 5 crore house in India 5 cars.now earning very well in US.do u think this can be issue??being a student i cut all my expenses and call him.why cant he do that.he has money to fet rs 11000 armanis shirt to change laptop every 6 months to spend 7000 on single dinner but why such a SMALL HEART for me???????????????

After reading your reply to my post i felt that soemwhere he is also changing, this is obvious with the place he works and friends he wants to have a good time, women are nore sensitive Men don't feel about these things much, now i think you should stop running behind him, contiinue with your mails, your cards and your calls but don't keep them too long you also sometimes deliberately show him that you are busy even if you are not, don't show that you feel bad the things like he is not calling you don't show him too much imp, you know when u give undue importance to people no matter what or who they are they satrt taking you forgranted and generally men don't like dependent wome like i told you so try to be confident
See keep a testing phase for him , check him how his behaviour is changing towards u, is it really changing in what reagrd
1)if you don't call him for one day does he get worried? does he call?
2) skip one or two calls sometimes even when u feel reallly talking to him.
3) don't show that u are upset with him because he didnot call up yesterday when he says tell him oh its ok i can understand.
4) change ur self a little plese don't go unrealistic level of expectations but don't decline your expectations too much
5) don't loose your self-respect if you feel he is saying i am busy or want to photograph close the phone wait till rthe next time he calls u then don't talk in rude manner.
6) be a little more mature, be a women of substance
7) only thing i didnot find appropriate is this american freind just see how he talks about her, don't show u are upset atleast u will come to know the depth of their relation how many times they are together.
8) keep patience and trust but never have blind faith

L;astly keep posted about your developments try for some days i am not asking you to have over confidence on him but don't loose your dignity also by running behind him, you both have some duties and mutual love and respect for each other give a little time and space... many questions that are coming in your mind will be answered and don't call him for 3hrs its pretty long time don't show u are desperate to talk to him, u have to be pretencious in husband wife relation also even i am attimes with my hubby a
If he comes back to you and if he really loves you will pass this phase together..

Hi It was very nice to get ur replies.I understand i am being kiddish but there remains a kid in all of us who craves for love.
Once again thank you very much.

Dear Stuti you are just spoiling ur lovely time , you know even men like intelligent and witty females they don't dependent females, who can support them at any time of life i replied ur post in the previous time also i think u want to listen something negetive to end the relation, what are u searching for he is rigt he has his set of probelms did u try understanding the stress in job the working hrs the budget, what type of life do you want that he should call you and keep praising you everyday, the frequency of calls iis quiet good above normal the rest u can cover by calling him i am sure must be getting pocket money send him ecards or send him cards throught registered post handwritten things still have more effect than the internet things and moreover he is asking you to make love on the internet there is one reason that ur relation has become old so the only side to touch beside emotional is the physical, he is being normal as he is in the us i am married to my college mate we had a relation of 2yrs before in which even he started expecting the same i ma not encouraging u it is your desicion but you seem to just be in some DREAMLAND don't want to come out of it and your list of negativities don't seem to end, if you keep nagging him for his callings he will run away from u so make the calls more soothing and exciting, try to divert him say some things naughty and just joke and then lightly tell him wait till our marrieage in a litght was don't be grand mother and start saying i don't like this and i don't like that please as it is he is far, make him feel imp. keep ur ego don't come down from your dignity but at the same time Please stop thinking you are in some Karan Johar movie...
Chill and enjoy its a time to cherish

Thanks a lot for guiding me.I dont know why have i become so much negative.He is my first and last love.I just miss that love and care that i got in first few years.I know life isnt a movie.We need to work to earn to survive but there is a LIMIT.Actually i know i am over sensitive.I dont want him to appreciate me just talk to me for some time in a day.This friday i called him for 3 hours n then on saturday he didnt call even once.He likes to travel a lot.So on sat and sunday he goes out.I just feel the way i want to talk to him he doesnt feel that WHY?all 5 days he is busy and tired and then on saturday and sunday he goes out and calls while he is driving.I get very scared when he calls while driving so i tell him to keep the phone and then we dont get time to talk.He is 5 yrs older than me.He had one gf 5 yrs back but she left him.(started loving someone else and got married to him too).Sometimes i feel he doesnt really love me.he wanted to settle down so he proposed to me and all this happened.I feel i love him a lot but for him i can never be the first choice(although he was the one who proposed).then i am not that attractive when it comes to looking.Then in morning when he goes to office he does car pooling with a chinese girl n then we cant even talk when he goes to office.then in evening he goes regularly out with his office friends.then many times he goes out with an american girl.( she is just a friend and as he feels lonely he spends time with her).she is his best friend there.on his birthday this year we were talking on phone and she called up he left me and celebrated all day with her from 11am to 12am.this has happened many times.i felt very bad that day and asked him he was like you are mentally sick and u think only negatively.then sometimes i feel he has time to go for golf once a week.go out every weekend.go out every night for dinners but why he doesnt have time for me.i just asked him that he was like cant i have life of my own??i know he works hard so he needs to rest too.but why doesnt he get that happiness from me?i respect his friendship with other girls.he is alone so its natural to have friends im ok with that but i want some LOVE CARE ATTENTION .i know he is giving me but may be i need more.i know reality is different from movies.and whenever he talks to me the only thing is lets make love.few days back he was like SHUT UP u have to do because i want to do.i am not giving u any choice.i have tried my best to divert this issue.now regarding my phone i call him 15-20 times in a month for 20 mins.this weekend i called for 3 hrs but he was more interested in doing photography that time.( he was out like every weekend).then i send him ecards almost everyday.i send emails everyday(everything that i do that day)i send 5-7 cards every month by post.i know i am just creating an issue.but when he has time for everything for his best friends(celebrate everything special with her),for office friends then where do i stand in this crowd???

Stuti,
Just glanced thru ur previous post and this post. You say you want ur man to love you more than his work ...
But I would say dont do such comparisons of what he loves more. Bcoz all successful Men love their work... and you should be proud to have such a Man .
So its not good to nag him over phone calls. Jobs everywhere India or US are very demanding these days. If you want to be successful you have to give time and dedication and if you want to be called a successful Mans wife you have to be supporting !
I too am married to a very busy person .. Yes it hurts sometimes when he cuts the call saying he is in meeting but when I see his name in articles I feel so proud to be his wife !!!

Hey first of all congrats on getting engaged. I live in US and i can only say your wud be is quite normal. phone calls from US to India is quite expensive.Also in any relationship after the initial excitement period boredom sets in. So dont worry maybe its the same case here.Also here work can be very stressful.Most of work hrs extend from 10-12 hrs per day and sometimes weekend.As far as love on net
It is one of the things which is both negative/positive effects of internet. Internet makes it sometimes so easier to contact somebody on other part of the world and communication so much easier .at the same time these things are desired by some people. So dont worry He is normal. And being in US and working for everything and leading an independant life makes a person all the more active about money matters. And as far as study goes most of them who come to US either study or work .they do it to have independent life with being married.
And moreover this is the magical time of your life. You will remember this for rest of your life. Why dont u make it memorable with having sweet talk with your wud be.
Dont stress too much about your talk with your wud be .Try to be more positive and do small things for him.Why dont u send him a e-card everyday so that he sees it first thing in the morning. Write something loving in that. Hey i lived in india for 1 week after getting married and before coming to US to join my husband as i cudnt get tickets in the same flight as his.We had a lovely time chatting and mailing.at the same time i was stressed out as the day of my travel approached and i had a fight with my husband.My first fight. So now after 4 yrs i can only remember the fight but nothing else good. So u can start making memories by making this time memorable.find ways to do it. Best of luck.Post back.