Beauty & Grooming  Discussion Forum

I AM KAVYA A 27 YR OLD .I HAD LOVE MARRIAGE AGAINST WISHES OF MY FAMILY AND I AM COMPLETELY CUT OFF FROM THEM .I AM MARRIED IN ORTHODOX SOUTH INDIAN FAMILY WHO ALSO WERE OPPOSED TO OUR WEDDING BUT BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND' S WISHES THEY HAVE ACCEPTED .MY HUSBAND HAD PROMISED THEM I WOULD FOLLOW ALL THEIR CULTURE .SO NOW I DON' T HAVE ANY CHOICE BUT TO LISTEN TO THEM .I USED TO WEAR JEANS AND WESTERN OUTFITS BUT NOW I CAN WEAR ONLY SAREES. I HAD HIGHLIGHTED MY HAIR AND CUT IT FASHIONABLY IN BEAUTY PARLOUR .I HAVE THICK HAIR BELOW MY SHOULDER AND JUST ABOVE WAIST.BUT MY MIL STRICTLY OILS MY HAIR AND PLAITS IT .MY COLLEGUES IN OFFICE ARE SURPRISED WITH MY SUCH CHANGED LOOKS AND I FEEL EMBARASSED .

BUT NOW WORST THING THEY HAVE ORDERED ME IS THAT ON 25TH OF JAN THEY ARE GOINDG TO TAKE ME TO MADURAI AND GET ME TONSURED AND PIERCE MY NOSE WITH NOSE STUD THERE.

I AM SCARED AND MY HUSBAND HAS ORDERED ME TO OBEY HIS ELDERS.I DON' T KNOW WHAT TO DO .

I AM GOING TO BE TONSURED ON THE BANKS OF VAIGAI RIVER.

PLEASE SHARE YOUR EXP OR ADVICE Ram Singh replied. Dear Kavya
1. Love is mostly giving. If you really love your husband, obey his orders happily.
2. You are cut off from your parents' family. You must be lucky that you have been accepted by an orthodox south Indian family. Do not be reckless and throw that gift also out of the wind. You cannot have everything in your life as per your wish only. Only God can have that.
3. It is one thing to just try out other ways of hairstyle etc. during youth. But when you have to settle down into a family life that with a spouse of your own choice you must do as per family requirements not that of your colleagues' superficial comments. Tomorrow it will be your in-laws and husband who will stand by you and not your colleagues. So do not get embarassed by getting a tonsure and changing into orthodox style (braid, saree, nose stud and all). In fact, the trend is that many are seeing through the tentativeness of western superficiality and returning to the traditional beauty of our culture. You must be happy that you have family to support it.
4. A religious tonsure on the banks of a sacred river is extremely auspicious.
5. A tonsured lady looks very beautiful. She only looks different, that is all.

So, my dear Kavya, get rid of all doubts and get your head shaved happily. Make your m-i-l and husband happy and you also be happy. In fact I assure you that if you get it done with the right frame of mind and ignore the adverse comments of your so-called colleagues you would like to tonsure again after a few years.

So, good luck and a happy Madurai tonsure.