Hi everyone, I have been planning to post an update since long long time but hands are full since Arjun has started walking. He is on move all the time, nowadays he started running too, and falls sometimes, his personality is emerging, he understands no and lots of other things.

Priya, how is Dylan now? must be tough on the poor kid, my heart always melts whenever I hear a kid falling sick, just way way hard for me to see them sick. Bhairavi, nice to hear that nikku recovered too. Has she started running around? its really hard when kids start walking, thats what I feel. lot more joys of parenthood are yet to come. Arjun also dances the moment he hears music, when we say good job, he claps and smiles:)
I am looking for a change of job as have been going to work over the weekends too since last couple of months. I know there could be people standing in queue to get my job the moment I quit but this job has been way too demanding for me after Arjun and though it offers a promising career, I feel that I had enough of it. So I have started looking around for a job which is less demanding.

Hetal, you have been my inspiration on family front. I know I am not a person completely devoted to my family and house but looking at you I really get inspired for doing so. You might be tired of me asking this question again and again but how do you manage? For me, life looks like a never ending struggle. Where I struggle to work effieciently so that I can come come and spend time with my family. I struggle to cook meals on time, I struggle to clean house, I struggle to spend time with Arjun, i struggle to get some time alone with my hubby, I struggle to get some time to excercise, I struggle to take care of myself, fulfill my hobbies. sometimes I succeed in doing one thing and fail in another. Another times jusy opposite. This has been a way of life for me so far- no worries as so much used to it now.
How is your pregnancy, who is going to be with Nirja when you will have another one? sometimes, I feel like having another one but as life is already too complicated so want to wait till I could straighten it a bit.
Arjun is speaking a lot, he says du for milk (dudu), ju for juice, chee for cheese, he shows his shirt, pant, tummy, knee, clock, plant, trees, birds, doggie etc. One of our friends got an otter for him, he thinks thats dog and kisses him all the time and says bhubhu and there goes another kiss. he has become very affectionate and woudl come and hug me, and kiss me almost all the time, he would come to me. and off there he will go and play.
Nowadays he reads books on his own, he'll look at a picture of fish and will say fisssss. Haven't started potty training yet. Now thats a lame excuse but didn't get time. hopefully will start soon. hetal thanks for the useful info on clothes diapers and potty training. Now you know why I waited so that i could use all your reasearch without outting much efforts:)

Enough of writing now. more later

Hetal replied. hi aarti. good to see arjun update.
at this stage they will express all their feelings,,,give them full opportunity to do that. this will groom their personality in future.

your words made me abit uneasy, and somewhat flattered...
i dont know what to tell you..its not that i am not willing to share the way i do things, but this being open site i feel uncomfortable doing so. there are critics here who are waitin for that opportunity to read and keep posting something that we dont want to hear about our own lives.
so its kind of uncomfortable for me to share. thats y i stay away from sharing things until asked. sometimes i share upfront,,depending on time i can spend here.

no matterr how hard we try, being mother we have to struggle to keep things around us just right for our family.and for us kids are equally imp as our dh and if you are living in joint family than other members of family. with job, it adds further to all this.
what you are saying about struggling to make things work is pretty much normal. i must tell you expect this for next 5 years. once your kids are 5 years, all worries are expected to be gone.as by then they are pretty much on their own schedule and they dont look upon us for their survival or immune.but our part doesnt end there too :)
life is never easy after entering motherhood. and it will never be. now that you have been promoted to motherhood your responsibilities are always going to multiply !!

my schedule starts from the time nirja wakes up thats at 6 in morning. she is early morning baby. and ends at night 1, because after she sleeps at 10/1030; i have to do some prep for the next day. even though i am at home.
infact i found going out of home for a while was quite relieving than being inside and taking care of your family 24x7. because you dont get time to talk to others and its like lonely constrained life-practically speaking.if you are person like me who always wants people around then its hard to stay at home.
and our kids are pretty much independent with their own crusing and exploring capabilities,,so we are better that we dont have to carry them all the time.
nirja is on her own, playing her toys, drawing on her mat, sometimes wanders in my balcony on her rockin puppy and whenever she demands my attention she will call me to read her books. she loves them. thats where the whole day ends. other than that, unless ne pain is bothering she will not even look at me. she is busy these days :) with her new toys..until she gets bored she wont care to look at me.we have couple families here once a while we take turns to babysit eachother kids like taking them to park and all, so one of us gets the rest,,like going to a parlour and get a good face. sometimes thats difficult because all kids are of same age and sometimes they dont want to leave moms.
like last couple days,nirja gave me hard time. by 4 noon, i was tired and i was waiting for my day to end or my dh to finish his office hours.if it was not enough he had to sit at night due to some severity 1 issues,,and i felt badly tired..gave myself a good hot shower and i was fine.
what are your office hours,what is arjuns timings, and wat are your dh office hours. m asking so that i can definately workout something for you. its not that i m perfect in doing things, but whenever i have shared my ways of doing things, believe me it has improved my way of doing things a step further. because when i write, i re-read what i do and then i evaluate myself and further manipulate it,,and then i try for better results next time,,so this way,i groom myself further. so tell me,here or at my email, wherever you feel comfortable. but i'll answer you there.it will be my pleasure if i can help someone. i will be doing this for nirja too after she marries :) so let me put myself to test :))

my this social life with responsibilities started pretty much earlier than i was of age to take care of things. because of my moms bed rest at the age of 5,,but i had people to take care of me,my brother and my dad until i got 11 but my elders made sure that by the time they are very old and leave this world, they will be teaching me all about homemaking and cooking,,and so i m doing this ever since i was of age 11. and yes until i was 15, i was all in mess, with lots of burns, and lots of mismanagement and utter confusion in taking care of things around me. first year of taking care of my house and family i even lost some scores in my studies,,but then i was able to gain everything at a good speed.its experience that one gets in life that makes one different from other and my belief to it is pretty much true.
surprisingly after marriage,my life was easier because number of people to take care were less and there are no elders around so that way, 5-10mins here there is ok,,other is its US,,US things are so much ready to use,,which makes our lives alot easier.and the best thing i feel difference and easy after marriage even with nirja is nirja is not that naughty than my younger brother was !! also there is no one on bed rest to take care of..so for me this life is alot at easier than my before marriage life.yeah talking about demanding dh that i knew the day he proposed me..so i was able to predict that.
so its pretty much obvious that ne body who would have been at my place would not feel the pressures of all this and keep doing things in better way,,as it has become years of experiences dealing with family,socials and everything around you.and you kind of get smooth hand in everything.

the only thing i feel i am missing my mom is during my delivery time.last time my aunt had come,this time i cant expect.even though she is out of coma, she is paralysed..i cant expect my mil to help me when she herself needs some support to stand on her own even if she happens to come. she had her spinal cord operation done in last year, but recovery was not as expected.. so even though if she comes, i will be taking care of her. yeah in way elders presence makes alot of difference during that time like mental support, but practically speaking you are worried about them then taking care of yourself.
thats y i told my dad to come after my delivery so that i can atleast give him good cooked healthy food instead of feeling miserable about not able to get up from bed and cook/..
so as of now, my dh will solely take care of nirja during my delivery. we will try our best that she doesnt see me in labour otherwise it will be difficult to handle her.thats y i am fast with her, i am trying these days to give away sippy cup as she takes milk onetime with glass.the other time frustrates her,,so i will keep trying.

also i still have her pee training going on,,i hope she is able to do well with that as soon as possible. so that my dh doesnt have to worry much about taking care of her and it becomes easy for him to deal with her, instead of making himself feel miserable..so thats the case right now we are thinking..i hope all goes smooth.
so thats all,i am sorry if it was too long but still not good at words..so end up writing longer :))
Take care, love to arjun.
Priya replied. Dear Arti
How are you, Dylan is better now and is progressing quite well in his vocab now. Arti dont worry about life right now, it is very normal and the majority of other wiith some exceptions are feeling the same as you. Life will be a constant struggle as long as our kids are younger as they need all the attention from us. i also feel my life is to a halt even though i work but still yiou feel this way.To be a perfect mother we have to make sacrifices thats why it so much of a struggle. if you didnt make those scarifices then there would be no struggle,. to be the best at something you have to let go of other things and right now our kids need us the most...
Some give up carrer to spend time with their kids..its all about scarifice.
I am sure that hetal has her struggles too, as she will tell you..
Now i will have more of a stuggle as i will have two, but i know down the line as they get older it will get much easier. My sil used to always be in sweats when her kids were young always i would see milk vomit on her tshirt but now her kids are like 9 and 5 and she is enjoying herself getting hair done wearing nice chlothes doing things she wants but she never once regreted the 4 years she took out for her kids. so dont worry we all are in the same boat as you. not one of us can say that are lives are like it was a feww years ago but also cannot imagine life without those beuatifula faces in our live- i mean the kids not the hubby :)
Priya