Relationships  Discussion Forum

I had diffrence with my hubby about his family, specialy his mother & sister.we don't stay with them, but I had a bad quaral last time when,I have visited to his house, towards my MIL's cunning behavior. even though he knew it's her fault , he kept on giving positive support for them, not questioning about her.In back I lost my control shouted at him, ( since I was going throw lots of stressfull tension).He involved with his mother , sister, brother, his dog & talked about me, since they talked in my back, & even my husband supported them. now I don't feel like going to his house any more.I want to go may be for 1 day just to keep in touch.I don't want to cut off the relation with them also, since he is my husband.the things they say to me & my mom is below the humanity level.I know I have to hear all their stupid comments if I have to stay there. and I absolutely don't trust my husband that he is going to protect me from them.but my hubby says either I have to listen to them(bend for them)& stay with him as long as he lives there or ready for consequence(may be divorce??). so what can I do ??. talking with husband is already done. he doesn't want me to talk about them .please other than staying there what I can do?.b'coz for me it is immpossible to stay a specialy with his sister who is a witch & her every blood cell in her body filled with jealosy towards me.I can ignore my mil's comments since she is ilitrate & much older than me.pls suggest. S.K. replied. My suggestion is to: Accept Islam, it is the relegion of truth and the relegion of peace. Pray, give charity, and fear your lord night and day. Read the Koran and know this world is not going to last forever. All the drama we may face in this life will not go beyond the grave. All the conveniences and inconvenieces we have in this world will vanish. The best of the home is the home of the hereafter, so have hope, and pray, and things will be better for you God-willingly. You'll see.

Hosai replied. Glory be to God!!! I just had to respond!! I can't believe the things you wrote!! I read your response to Nina's letter to you. And I just had to write!! Look I don't know you but!!!! Hello!!

Your husband makes fun of you and puts you down in front of his family??!! What the heck?!! And he laughs along when his family makes fun of you!! Glory be to God!! What in the world??? And you still love him and you say he loves you??

I am sorry, but the root of all love is RESPECT and if you don't have RESPECT you don't have real love. Your husband's treatment of you, and his intolerance of your feelings is as far from respect as ever.

And you said your husband talks about you behind your back?? Is that true? And he supports his family's making fun of you ? What the HELL??! How can you take that??! And how in the world can you think it is going to go away by just talking to him or whatever??!!


Your husband does not care! Wake up and smell the coffee. He does not CARE at all!! Look at the things he does and says infront of you and behind your back! This is not normal!! NO one would accept this!! And poor you here all by yourself trying to fix everything up, and be the good one and \";nice\"; one trying not to upset or hurt anyone, when your own husband and his family is walking all over you with nails pressing down into your flesh!

YOur husband does not fear God to treat you this way, so why in the world would he care now??? And that is the worse kind of man to be with, one who does not fear God and follows his own whims and desires! ARGGH!! It makes me so mad!!

And I think your issue stems deeper than the message you posted, and the problem your situation poses is far more serious,listen up!!

This is not normal!! For a husband to treat his wife like your husband treats you I don't care what you have to say but that is not normal and there is no excused for it whatsoever!! And it should not be tolerated AT ALL !!! I think you should GO and leave him behind forever. No woman in her right mind deserves that sort of treatment, and if you say that you have SELF RESPECT for yourself like you say you do, than you need to do what you need to do to honor that, and leave him.

I am sorry, but that is the truth. Be grateful to your Creator you don't have kids, and leave him. Either stay and have kids and be stuck more than you are now and suffer the consequences and be miserable, or leave and have a better life with someone who honors a woman like she is supposed to be honored God-willingly, and attain that peace of mind and respect your deserve.

It's your choice.

Pray to your Creator to guide you and bless you with the faith to do what is right.
Nina replied. Hi,
I just wanted to say that when you're married, there are hardly any people who have perfect relationships with their inlaws. For some reasons, a lot of husbands defend their parents and siblings even when they are wrong...even if against their wife.

What you should do is not consider at all the word 'divorce'...if he isn't unfaithful, violent, etc, you don't need to go there...I know you are stressed.

Sit down and have a talk with your husband when you are not upset, tell him how it makes you feel.

He will respond in some way...hopefully a positive manner.

Remember, you married him, not his parents, so every time they get you all worked up and angry, remember that...

Also, a word of advice...
Avoid talking bad words about your inlaws to your husband...no matter how right you are, he will not accept that.

But, when they talk bad about you and your mom, say that it hurts for them to say such things and let them know you are unhappy about such comments. It won't stop them forsure, but, they may think about what they say next time.

Take care,
Nina W