Relationships  Discussion Forum

am married since six years(almost)...the starting years of married life was horrible...me and my huby used to fight like crazy almost daily we used to fight....then i started studying i did another 2 years...but the fight was on n off....but it was there...i can say it was our immaturity to some extent...after 2.5 years of married life...i met one guy on net....we used to chat...nothing much....gradullly when we both started liking each other we dont know....but i never told him that i was married....and he said he likes me v v much...i nevr had this type of intention i was just chatting when he proposed me i was shocked.....and gradully i also started liking him...but after couple of days i told him that am getting married...as i didnt wanted to loose him as a friend and at the same time i didnt wanted to kept in dark and having n affare..so after 2-3 days i told him soon am getting married, so stay away.......after few talks , he asked me we will never talk to each other....i was in bad state after hearing this..i was loosing him..becoz my married life was never happy and he was the first person in my life who madem e feel good for first time(yes i never had relationship before my married life)and trust me i never wanted to fall for anyone excpet my hubby.....but hard luck...thats another story...i was never happy with my hubby.....now it has been three years we dont talk to each other but i mail him once in a while and he dosent like it.....he says its a sin if i m talking to him as i m married...still he is not aware that i was married when i first met him..and am so scared telling him...anyways its over so....the problem is...i STILL MISS HIM...each and every sec i miss him...i only think abt him....i donno why.....even though my relationship with my hubby is ok now...as after my kid he is cool down a bit...but still i miss HIM...and he is not ready to talk to me...and i cant say this whole story to my hubby either him...am stuck..my life is hell....i donnow here im leading i miss him always....and i can feel him ..even though he is so far but i can feel him...can you pls suggest me what shud i do?..as i dont want to forget him....hez my first love ...and best thing ever happened to me.......at the same time he dosent want to talk to me.....and i cant say this to anyone......well.........what shud i do?? Jsa replied. Hi aarti,
I have some questions to u...
First, you have mentioned that the guy you met through internet was your first love..you met him only after your marriage right? then did'nt you love your hubby? or did your parents forced you to marry him? i dont understand you saying the guy you met after the marriage is your first love\" .
Second if it is your husband doing the same,will you accept it?i mean meeting a girl through net and wants to maintain that relationship?
Third,did u think about your kid?do you want him to suffer?
Alright,now coming to the point..you have mentioned that the guy does'nt want to continue this if you are going to get married..so you know that he is surely not going to accept you.. if he comes to know that you have told him the lie he is not going to turn to your side.
hey Girl,common do you think any body(husband &wife) out there who dont fight?Do u have in-law problems?or your husband has any affairs? or is he not looking after you properly?i mean he dont care for you and your kid?if the answer is no for the above questions dont even think about that Guy.it is very clear that he is ready to forget you.So dont let your mind wavery,forget everything like a Dream and carry on with your married life.Atleast for the sake of your kid try to change and spend as much as time with your kid.take him to playgroups,parks and enjoy with him...Erase the image of that guy from your heart.other wise it will be problem only for you.Hope you will lead a happy married life..ALL THE BEST hi replied. hi aarti

hi my dear friend, don't pity yourself dear. i know ur feeling . but dear be happy with what u have now dear.

what i'm sayng is there is no base of keeping that thought in mind that u found ur true love very late because ur hubby and kid is ur family now . u said he is ok now after the kids birth. he is the one for u. and f u try really u can make a beautiful famly.
what i am trying to tell is mine is a love marriage. like u said he was a real GEM. HE WAS THE BEST AND LOVABLE MAN I EVER MET. MY TRUE LOVE. NOT JUST LOVE BASED ON BEAUTY OR ANYTHING.
HE WAS THE BEST.he mde me feel like i am a princess.
now i marred him and it is 6 years and 2 kids. he is a good man nowe also. he is the best as i say.

but really we fought a lot during frst two years(IN LAW). NOWeverything somewhat ok. we love each other. but....

so what i'm sayng is don't be sad u met him late. if u had married him also u cannot say ur life mght have been smooth. nlaw praoblems all kind of probs.
so FORGET IT. LIKE A SWEET DREAM.
move on. u have lots to do with ur hunbby and kid.
love u





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sandhya replied. Marriage is a sacred institute..keep maryada..yeah!! i am a old fashioned one..please don't leave you kid & husband even though you manage to make that guy agree..and if you go with that guy, the name carries for genarations.and it might effect you kid deeply..And your future life..how can your new husband will trust you for bitraying your husband & kid?.if you find another amazing guy better than this one, you going to leave him too??..attraction for something else which we don't have is very common..now how to control it, it depends on you.Involve your self in other activity to take your mind off.And if you get his thought..ok..let them come..don't try to supress it, if you supress it, more thoughts will come..but be aware you are getting those thoughts & laugh about it..it is ok to get those thoughts, but it is important how you act on them..got it?.And pray to the god, if you really love him..may be you get him in next life time(i know filmy dialogue!!:)). ABC replied. Hi,

Have you ever met him in person .. If not just read on .
I too had a chat friend whom I thought as the most wonderful guy in my life. I had a imagination of that person also had seen his snap and knew what he looked like . Then one fine day I decided to meet him .. Believe me I just wanted to run away from him. I couldnt stand him for 5 mins. I donot know what happened. It was just not the person I imagined. He was bald .. Fat and had shared me a pic which was atleast 10 years old !!!
He was trying to act smart and pissing me even further ! I wanted to bang my head to the wall for ever meeting him and wanted to run away !!!
So Moral of the story : Stop living in some imagination chat world ! Its a world which you paint in colors you want .. that is not reality!!

-ABC Ritika replied. When you love someone, you always carry a memory of them in your heart. And that's perfectly ok. What is NOT ok is you destroying your marriage because of that memory.

I think your chat friend has been very clear that he no longer wants to chat with you because you are married. It does not matter when he came to know about it as long as he knows about it now. He has made a decision and he is sticking by it. The choice is no longer yours (that is whether to keep in touch with him). Please accept it.

Get involved in some activities or join a job. Keep yourself busy so that you no longer think about spoiling your marriage/leaving your husband and child. If your marriage is fine now, why rock the boat?

Besides all I see from your message is that you have chatted with him on the net. You have never met him or spend time with him. I don't know how old you are, but you should know that having a conversation with somebody on the net is very, very different than meeting them in person. Do not imagine any more about ths person than you already have, because none of it might be true. You might not be attracted to him in person, he might behave differently, he might look different from what you imagined, he might be 5 yrs younger or 10 yrs older than you...just like you did not tell him important stuff about yourself, he also might not have told you imp stuff about his life.

Just forget about him and make some new real girl friends instead (by real I mean non virtual ones...ones with whom you can vent out every now and then and have a good time).

devil replied. dunt behave like b**ch...thiz iz not a drama...i cant say any advice bcuz u know all the things n seems u already decided to deserve hell..my heart felt wishes for u to go to hell....i am pity on ur husband and kid.go n tell him that u need ur one n only romantic chat friend n wanna to go wid him..ur chat freind seems to b gud..pity on him...hang urself shreya replied. I agree with Prateek.. He knows male Psychology. It is always female who sacrifice everything for their family's welbeing.... I think you are male who is writing here your story claiming you are female.


Prateek replied. I think this story is fake..... i think you do not have any work to do.