Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, this is my first ever message here...i am writing to you guys because i dont know how to cope with the situation i am in right now..basically i have been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years now..and we became best friends in college days..that was around 4/5 years ago..and then developed feelings for eachother and so we started dating...we have never really had no fights or any serious problem in our realitionship..except from the fact that we knew that if we ever wanted to get married it would be really difficult as we are both from different religions and our parents would never agree..so we decided to spend as much time as we could togetehr..instead of regretting it in the future..and we planned to stay in touch and be friends again..if one of us were to get married..i know it sounds difficult to do..especially if you're lovers and then friends again..but we didnt really have any other choice..and we love eachother very much..

the problem now is that..his parents found a girl for him from the same religion and they want him to get married..well he tried to get out of it..as he's still young to get married and he's not ready..but his family and the girls family cant wait no more..and they said that they will support both of them after they get married until he doesnt find a job etc..

he's getting married in a few days time..and i really miss him..and honestly i still cant believe that its happening...i mean i knew he would have to get married sooner or later and we would have to seperate..but not this soon..i wish there could have been something we could have done..but its too late now..i know he loves me too much and i cant really get my head round it..i cant imagine my life without him..but i dont have a choice now..(he's my first love)

have any of you guys been in a similar situation as me..? and how did you overcome it..any advice? Married to Indian replied. I am a white american and I married my Indian/Hindu, and his parents did not agree at first. Perhaps I should leave this board b/c I can't understand why all of you are so demeaning towards yourself. You can make anything happen--different religions are nothing. You can make it work, although now it is too late, unless he feels the same way. sakshi replied. hey preetia i tell u something .. i've gone thru thesame situation earlier ... & i too agree as someone said above cut off all ur relations with that guy .. coz there can't be pure friendship in ex lovers .. secondly i believe in fate .. when i got seperated with my boyfriend i too was badly hurt & used to think that i won't be able to live without him .. but i strongly believe in God & thought that may be he has created someone else for me ... & as marriages are made in heaven u can't deny his choice for u ... nodoubt it will take some time to heal the wound but .. i m sure u'll find a very good husband & will live a happy life ahead ... as wht i m doing .. i m so happy with my husband .. he is so good & i feel myself very lucky .. as the saying goes \"; one doesn't understand happiness till they experience tears\"; friend replied. Hi Preetia,
I felt so sad reading ur story. And I read ur second part too where he is getting married this friday, so its too late for u now.
I hv not gone thru such a situation but I would like to tell u that time will heal all wounds. U will be in pain for a few days/months but gradually u will learn to accept that life is not always what u want. There r many surprises in life. I want to advise u one thing that now that ur boyfriend is getting married, u should cut all relationships with him. U have mentioned that u both want to always remain friends. Preetia, it wont be possible for u both to just remain friends. Think of his wife - she should not hv to suffer for the pains u both r undergoing. This decision of being apart was made by u and him, so both of u should respect it. I am saying this because I hv read about so many wives whose marriage falls apart because their husbands have again started having relation with their old girlfriends. So u see to it that henceforth u do not contact him and dont let him also contact u and cut off all relations with him forever. I dont know if u can ever forget him but try to think positive and take life in a positive manner.
All the best. sowmya replied. this is not too late yet.if you think you really love him & can not live without him, if he too loves you so much, talk to him immediately about what he wants to do now.parents would be mad or upset for just a couple of years if you marry a guy they dont like.but if you marry a guy you dont like, you have to keep crying rest of your life.so do something quickly before you loose him forever.talk to your guy, if you both agree on marrying, then convince elders.good luck to you. swathi replied. Dear Preetia,
Yes, you are in a very bad situation.
I think that the first mistake you and your lover made was to keep your careless relationship without telling family or making any plans for the future. If you both truly love each other, then you should bring it out into the open with both of your families. Love takes courage--- I suggest you take some action before you regret it for the rest of your life.