Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello ,
i am 28 yrs old married for the last 3 years and have a 2 year old
son.I come from a very respectable and rich family.My marriage is an
arranged one and it took place in one the best place in chennai.My
husband
come from a middle class family and at the time of my wedding he was
working abroad so after my marriage i too went with him.we gave him rs
7
lakhs as dowry and all the amenties were given .I got concieved and
came
to my parents house for my delivery during my 8 th month.Till that
everything was going smooth between us .He came for my delivery and
stayed
with me for a month.before my delivery itself he started asking for
money
to do biz etc and whe i said i cant he started enquiring abt my jewels
etc not a single day would pass with out a fight for us .its very
difficult to understand his character immediately after the fight he
would
come and beg me or even sometimes fall at my feet then take me to some
mall etc but i always tought once a kid come he will be normal.after my
delivery i stayed at my parents house cause it was difficult to look
after him alone there.this was the time he started to change his
colour.although we had misunderstandings i never susspected him at
all.when i
was with him also he used to get a number of calls from girls which i
never suspected i always thot it was common when your in abroad.when i
was in india after my delivery he used to call me once a week and sms
me
regularly but as time went he started reducing the calls and sms.he
stoppen enquiring even about my son.i felt some thing is wrong and went
to
see wat is happening there.he introduced me to a muslim girl who is
divorcee and having two grown upo children aged 15 and 10 yrs old as
his
biz friend.in the meantime when i was in india he started his own biz
which he didnt informe me at all.so where we go this lady also started
coming with us if she comes he will laugh and enjoy,if he takes me
alone
he will never open his mouth and will be very dull.once when we out for
dinner another friend mistook that lady as my husbands wife and started
talking to her i was standing next to her neither she nor my husband
open their mouth .when i was in india tese two were happily going
around
some of my relatives are there when they told me they saw my husband
with this lady i didnt susupect him at all. Above all my husband has
done
the sunnath operation which muslims normally muslims do .all these
things i never told my parents but one day i couldnt hide any more and
told
them everything even they were shocked and at first refused to beleive
it,but later when i told abt the operation they beleived and spk abt
this to him for that he told my parents that this operation is normally
done to prevent cancer.when all this was happening his visa got expired
and we came to india .he said he is not going to work any more and will
bo only biz and that only with that lady.he never cares for my son
once a big fight broke between us cause he was preparing to go the same
place where he was working but did not inform me at all.i told his
parents but they didnt bother at all they keep repeadetly saying that
their
son is very good and i am lying inspite of showing them all the
evidence.they are useless ppl cause if you give money they will do
anything and
never expect justice from them.It has been nearly 5 months i have
spoken to my husband i dont know where he is whether in india or
abroad.he
has not enquired even about my son.i am totally confused my parents are
supportive to me .i some times have a feeling to divorce him cause in
this 5 months he shlould have enquired aby my son atleast.help me in
this .what should i do ?in the case of divorce what are the procedures? Heera replied. Hi,
If i was in ur place i would have never thought of continuing with him. accept it......it was ur fate. a worst mistake. come out of it. take charge of your life .LEAVE HIM. take a divorce ...start doing something of ur own. this man is not worth ur tears or tensions........he will be left foe nowhere in sometime. just wait n watch.
dont think again , just take a divorce n close the chapter. it much much more that u have taken that any normal woman can take. Sangini replied. Hi Pd,
as from what u have written many doubts are rose, and if he is ot concerned about you and you are from a well to do family then why don't you take a step atleast you will no where do you stand in life, many of us like to live our life in dark as darkness will not open there eyes and they can linger to falsehood but i think in your case you have already accepted many things, so yes i think you should confront him one lsat time and get rid of the problem because if he really loves you he will never leave you and how can a father be so ignorant towards his child. please take charge of your life and let him fell pity on him self and please don't mind but if you can take him to court for alimony or money etc please do it generally people think not to spoil the spoilt realtions , but i think when he took so much money from you and you have a son he also should share the responsibilty and never let the childs custody go in your husbands hand let your child stay with you, Mothers can only look after the child and this will teach him a leson may be he thought its easy to fool any \";BHARTIYA NAARI\"; but let him know what mess he has done to him self. teach him alesson before you leave him.

Hope you get your answers and live a better life later on may be if you have a business can join your father or join a job its important to be in-dependent eventhough you belong to a well to do family.