Relationships  Discussion Forum

Name: RMS

Hi All,
Well I am not really sure if I can share this on a site. But I feel lighter after reading a lot of posts on this site. It makes me feel better because I am not the only one in this battle.
I was married about a year a half ago, me & my husband were close friends. He moved to US a few years ago. In 2014 when he came to India; he proposed me. With lot of obligations & unacceptance from my parents we got married. As a result my parents still don’t talk to me. I have given up a lot to be with him and have this life, with letting go closest friends and family due to various reasons.
My MIL was the sweetest when I met her, my husband was just a friend. She is a very strong individual, single mother and very disciplined. I always respected her for that, I still respect her. Too many misunderstandings while the wedding btw the families and finally my family drifted away from me since I made this decision, it was very heart breaking for me. After the wedding my husband was with me for a month and moved back to US. I had to join him in a few months after my master’s semester exams.
I stayed with my MIL & BIL (same as my age) for about 3 months. I most of the times felt homesick, missing my family & friends in spite of staying in the same city. Slowly MIL’s behavior changed, she was dominating, dictating, had issues with everything & gradually she would stop talking to me for days, make faces. I would work long hrs, come back home and still work at home as well. It was very frustrating for me; I had no one to talk about all this. Gradually she started filling up my husband’s head with complaints on me.
I & my husband had issues, fights and arguments. Then I finally moved to US. Now it’s been 9 months here and its wonderful here. We have our privacy, our moments, but life could not be any better with him. We got our time together to create that kind of a bond which is required for every marriage. We would have skype calls every weekend with MIL & BIL. Things seemed fine with distance. She was again sweet to me & I slowly had started to forget the bitter moments with her.
They visited us for few months (6 months). After 3 yrs my husband was going to spend time with them and I was happy for him. But at the same time I was skeptical about my MIL and her mood swings. They reached here in June’16. First few days were fun, exploring the places, fun talks and amazing food. Slowly things changed again. My MIL had issues with everything. She doesn’t treat my husband and me properly. Especially me, she hardly talks to me, doesn’t answer when spoken, makes faces. MIL & my husband had few heated arguments over small things and every time she starts crying and we give up. She has a problem with anything and everything we do/ way we live. I don’t comment on most of the things.
I believe in giving their space and I strongly feel she has lot more complaints against me but she says nothing. But lot of times she has taunted my husband for his endless love for me. It seems more jealousy rather than being happy about us (being a parent you should be happy). He doesn’t like the way she treats me. I always keep my silence just because I don’t want to be disrespectful and when we return to india; we have to stay together. I can’t see the tension btw them and the weird silence at home. It seems like all the peace of the house is gone suddenly.
Pls suggest what I do? Is my silence also wrong? I am scared to talk Cz I don’t want to get into any unnecessary arguments and spoil the relationships.

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