Hi dear
Just back from chennai yesterday afternoon and had to visit a friend in the evening. At work now and not able to call you. I felt very sad for you after reading your blues and felt like taking a rick and coming to you in person...

Believe me, things are bad here too. Especially at Chennai there were so many issues between mom, MIL, me, Shyam that I really waited to come back to Hyd. Shyam saw this time how unfit his mother is physically to take care of Rishi. Rishi is walking now and its very hard to control him snatch everyting from the shelves and throwing them. Amma is always on the move when he is awake and his nap time has reduced a lot too. Even she complains sometimes that I don't do house work and I have started feeling totally guilty for everyone now. They will not allow me to put him in a care, but even if they do, its very difficult to find a decent one in Hyd. I have no option till he goes to school I think.

Ok, now for suggestions - see if they are practically possible.

1. Hire a full time nanny when amma is there and train her.

2. See if you can take a couple of weeks off from office - or work for two hours and then work from home so that you can send amma home for a short while. It will be a break for her as well as for you.

3. Tell her strictly that she can just take care of Kich and you will do the cooking. It will be tough for a couple of days but if you do the cutting in the night, it will not be very tiring. I cook only in the weekends but I help her at times by cutting veggies. She was complaining yesterday that I don't help. I can perfectly understand them. Taking care of a toddler and doing all the work at their age is definitely not easy.

In fact my problem is a lot more different. Mom gets offended when Shyam doesn't take care of Rishi/ goes out with friends / watches TV / talks in the phone loudly - but I am helpless. I can not tell Shyam not to do those 'coz he won't listen. And she is very sensitive, so I am trying my max to keep my cool.

And the arguments are always there with DH. You know, this saturday me and shyam went out with some of his friends' families to a beach resort at chennai. I left Rishi with MIL since she insisted and my mind was with him only but even then I enjoyed. It was such a nice break after a looooong time. I don't remember a night out with him alone after Rishi was born and so both of us felt so good. Try and go out somewhere with Kich and Sanj for a couple of days or take parents and go on a short tour. All of you will feel better.

Will talk to you soon.

Love to Kich and hugs to you
Vani paddoo replied. Hi Vani,

That i can speak to you now, i a great releif... I was getting all cooked up and that's why i posted on the board itself!!

I am doing the cutting veggies and stuff, but like you said there's too much of balancing between Sanj and my parents that i have to do. Kich is also standing up for some time without support and is taking a few steps. God help us when he too starts running about..

Good that you got some quality time with Shyam. here sanj also is finicky about leaving Kichu overnight even with amma.. How was the function.. Did you change his studs? Did he cry? Call when you've time..

Love to Rishi..
Paddoo