Hi friends,

Not many messages on our board.. So that's another blue.. I donno whether its PMS ('coz i dont get my monthly) but i am overall in the dumps...

My mom is upset with me for not doing the housework (she gets up before i can blink in the morning and finishes cooking during the day - how'm i supposed to help?):(

Had another fight w DH and as usual we have crossed all limits in the argument.. :0 Are'nt speaking much since 5 days...

Kichu is not sleeping or eating well. Wakes up a cries and wants to be held only by me or my dad. Infact he's going back to sleep if he's held by my dad only. So dad's tired too.. :(

sanj is making comments that Kich's bcome thinner.. (he is. Jumped from 90th percentile to 75th) and my parents say that if he's any heavier they'll die carrying him through the day.. (if i say dont carry, put him on the floor to play, they are offended)

I'm not getting a nanny/babysitter who can be trusted with Kichu for so many hours when i'm off, so am not able to let my parents go back. It'll be from frying pan to fire if i get my IL's w/o having a full time maid/nanny..

what do you all cook daily? Do you guys pre-cook and fridge? I sorely need tips from Super-mommies, esp Sush and you'all in the US (managina ALL the work alone)

Amma's going high BP, so she's short on her temper nowadays.. I need to learn to keep my cool but sometimes loose it badly, even though i know i shouldnt (after all they're taking care of Kich)..

Hope all of you are keeping well. Hugs to all the kutty kiddies and M - Love to the lil one within too.

\";bye
Paddoo maurni replied. It's breaking my heart to read your message. You know, all through my pregancy I heard this over and over again about how our lives totally change when we have kids but it wasn't until I had Vrisa did I realise that. In my case I can say that the older I got the harder it got for me to accept change let alone such a big change. I think in my mom's time, things were different. She was much younger than me when she had me and my brother and also the other women around her were all in the same boat.
In my situation, I had a full fledging career, very rat-raced lifestyle and having Vrisa and staying home with her took me a while to adjust to. I still am doing some work stuff on the side as a contract not so much for the money but to keep my sanity as well as keeping my chances high for when I do get back into full time work with the kids in school.
I don't have any family around to really know different but I hear my SIL say similar things as you have mentioned since she has my MIL ( her mom ) look after her elder son who is two but has been watched by my MIL since he was like 2 months old. The only thing I can say about Kich being fussy is that if you are anxious, so will your baby. They sense it all.
I can only speak for myself and in my case, Bharat and I had decided that I was to handle all aspects of the house and Vrisa and finances and he is to handle everything else. I don't know if both if us being Type A personalities kept us clashing when we 'shared' duties but this arrangement has made things very smooth for us. We still do somethings together like taking Vrisa out and spending couple time together and we shift duties on the weekends with her but for the most part we both know what we have to do and we also don't make plans for each other. He has his things to do and I have mine.
Foodwise, I do all the cooking during the week and he does it on the weekends. We mostly have friends over everyweekend so he does the cooking. As for planning the meals, we both make a meal plan on Sundays and I do the shopping on Monday mornings and make extras at dinner so that he can have the left-overs at lunch the next day. Vrisa eats most of what we cook and I always give her veggies steamed or lentils and dal boiled with Rice and yoghurt which is something I cook daily. I do freeze stuff like dal and things coz that you can't make a small amount. When I feel lazy and don't cook for us, I order out and get Vrisa some jarred organic foods.
When I need some time alone during the week out of the house, I go to the local gym, leave Vrisa in the Child-care for a couple of hours and work-out or just simply hang-out in their cafe. If I have errands to run, she always goes with me. She loves being out and about and around ppl. We have playgroups at least once a week everyweek that we go to and that is nice since she gets to play with other kids and I get to hang-out with other moms.
So that is pretty much how I have my life set at the moment. There are days when we are home all day and that is fine, too. Vrisa and I both laze around and I won't worry about cleaning or chores on those days and we just read books, play or watch a Hindi movie.
I tend to take things as they come and not worry too much about tight schedules. The only routine I like to keep is Vrisa's and the rest just falls into place. If something is out of my control, I just let it be.
I probably have bored you to tears, sorry. ramya replied. hi paddoo,
can feel what u re goin thru..
believe me i too hv my share of gloomy days...though in a totally different situation than you[not working and managing kutty and house work all day]..but the blues are still there...
so cant help out much with ideas...
just writing to give u a big hug and let u know u too re a super mom....
love to kich...
ramya ramya replied. hi paddoo,
can feel what u re goin thru..
believe me i too hv my share of gloomy days...though in a totally different situation than you[not working and managing kutty and house work all day]..but the blues are still there...
so cant help out much with ideas...
just writing to give u a big hug and let u know u too re a super mom....
love to kich...
ramya Komal replied. Hi Paddoo,
When i read your post i immediately felt like saying \";been there..done that \"; :))..
I know what you're going thru'...sometimes everything you do or try to do goes wrong...and i know how bad you feel after arguing with parents.
Please try to keep your calm with Amma and try and find some help soon.I think your mom gets so tired by the end of the day that she takes out all the gussa on you...afterall taking care of a baby whole day is really a tough job ...and that too at their age.

You can try and help her out at night by cutting the veggies for the next day or making easy stuff like rasam (which hardly takes 15 mins) or clearing the kitchen or help by cooking on weekends.
Maybe you can send Kich to a daycare just for few hours everyday (maybe drop him on the way to office and pick him up around lunch time )...it will be very good for him too..he will love playing with other kids his age.
And don't worry about fights with Sanj...even we have broken all records in our arguments..chalta hai ..it's natural with all the pressure that you're going thru...just say sorry and patch up yaar..it'll feel much better.

Hey you know Kids at this age loose weight because they have so many other developments going on...even megha is just 18-19 lbs and she's gaining height so looks thinner than before.
Chalo take care...just know that you are not alone in this...all of us go through this phase once in a while.

I think you all just need a change..take your parents out for a movie or something this weekend...will lighten the mood and you'll feel much better.
Phew!! Having a baby changes sooooo many things na....
Love to Kich.
Komal