Hi, i hv a one month old baby boy and no help from india (in-laws visa got rejected), so my hubby and me r managing him alone which is very very tough. Since there r no elders around, there r such a lot of doubts i need to ask, so hope someone will help me and pls also share ur experiences in similar situations.

1) Our baby cries a lot while bathing him. Is this normal? he doesnt just cry normally but holds his breath and cries very hard turning blue, so bath time is very scary for us (but cant avoid it). We hv to keep aside atleast one - two hours for bath time because when he cries we hv to hold him and let him be quiet and then again lower him in the water and again he cries and so on. pls tell me if this is normal or no?

2) i am feeding him breast milk and also formula. from 2 weeks his potty has been smelling really very very bad. is this normal? can such a small baby's potty smell bad or do u think he might be having any problem. he doesnt show signs of problems, he is fine that way.

3) how do u breastfeed ur babies at night. do u get time 2-3 times at night to breastfeed. how long do u breastfeed?

4) i use dreft laundry liquid for his clothes but the spit stains or sometimes potty stains in his clothes are always there, it does not go away. only when i use our laundry liquid and bleach, it goes. which laundry detergent do u use?

5) i used to use pampers (or any other brand) wet wipes for him during diaper change but he cries a lot with them. I guess its because those wipes r very cold. do ur babies also cry with the wet wipes? has anyone of u purchased a wipes warmer. if yes, pls let me know if its useful, i would like to purchase one too. right now i am cleaning him with warm water and regular kitches tissues.

Hope someone will take time to answer / help me with these doubts. i desperately need advise. thx for ur time. bye and all the best to all of u. sumana replied. I am not sure whether I can answer all ur questions...
1) If ur baby is crying a lot during bathing time , first check if the water is too hot or cold.Try talking to him while bathing so he knows u are there...and instead of lowering him in a tub full of water ...try pouring water on him with a mug.He cries coz he is afraid...so try to pacify him and say that there is nothing to be afraid of.
2)breast feeding at night agian depends on each baby....some babies get up every 2 hrs to be fed and some get up only every 4 hrs...but on an average 2-3 times is normal...Dont time ur baby's feeding....he/she will know when his lill tummy is full ....and moreover some baby's suck 2-3 times and give a pause before sucking agian ...and this continues till he is full....some baby's just start sucking and keep on it.So if ur baby falls under the 1st category he will take more time ...

4)it is better not to use our laundry liquid and bleach for baby clothes till they are atleast 4-5 mths old.If the stains dont go while using dreft, try to wash them with water as soon as the stains happen.

5)Pampers wipes or anyother for that matter is cold as u say...and surely babies dont like that cold wipes.It is a gr8 alternative to use the kitchen tissues soaked in warm water....

i hope this helps u ...

bye,
sumana khushi replied. Hello Dear,

U really seems very upset..but don't worry everything will be fine soon. Actually first month is confusing especially if we don't have anyone to help us. I can understand coz i'm also alone here. BTW my baby is 2 months & 15 days old now. So i'll try to help u as much as i can...

1) Bathing: First of all if u gave him the bath with ur baby in ur hands then try bathtub which r for babies those tubs just fit in kitchen sink & baby will feel very easy in bath tub & make everything ready before giving him bath & check the temprature of water on the wrist first then put him in that water. if nothing helps that means ur baby didn't like the water. so just try to give him the bath when he is not hungry & in happy mood & keep talking to him all the time that will give him the assurance that someone is here for him. U can also play the music if he likes. One more thing give him bath quickly in 10-15 min not for hour or so coz may be he is crying coz he is feeling cold..After the bath quickly wrap him in towel.

2) Smell: Actually the smell is because of formula milk & also coz he is now one month old. when i was in hospital doctor told me that formuls fed babies potty smells bad. but it also depends on what u r eating. My baby is completely on breast milk so for first 40-45 days her potty doesn't even smell. but now as she is growing her potty smells too. So it's completely normal.

3) Breastfeed: For the first month i was feeding her 3-4 times in night but when she was 6 weeks old after that she just feeds 2 times. coz i feed her at 10:30 first then she wake up at 1:30 or 2 p.m in night than 6 am in morning. But i also feel very tired in the beginning so so i asked my doctor & she told me 'bout the lying position from that time i never get tired even if she somtime feeds 3-4 times in night too. In the beginning she feeds for 30 min now in the night just for 10-15 min & she fall asleep.

4) I think u shouldn't use bleech it will harm baby's skin. i'm using Ivory soft & if there is potty stains on cloth just put directly the detergent & rub it. it will go away or u can soak cloth in warm soapy water for 30-40 min & then wash it.

5)For 10-15 days i use the huggies wet wipes but my baby didn't like it then i tried pampers wet wipe & she is happy with that. So u can change the brand & see he likes something else but i thing pampers wet wipes r best coz they r very soft for the skin. But even if u want to use warm water u don't have to buy the warmer coz once i asked the nurse & she told me that u can soak the wipe in warm water & then clean the baby with warm wipe. Also if ur baby is crying while changing then in my opinion u should talk to him while changing & try to change him as soon as he wants. I mean change him as he pee or poop don't wait for him to cry coz babies often pee or poop with in 30 min of feeding or as they wake up from deep sleep. If he wakes up & making sounds of pee or poop change him with in 20 min he is making these sounds.

I hope this will help & even if u have any other question u can ask me coz i can understand how u feel. because i'm also alone here so whenever i had some daubt i also ask everyone like my doctors, public health nurses, health link numbers, early start numbers etc. etc. They helped me a lot actually.

I hope it will help u for now but if u have any other daubt u can ask me that too.

Take care..
bbye..

Khushi.