Hi all,
First of all Congrats to all those who have have delivered sweet and tiny little babies. Take care of them.
I'm back to office today after 3 months vacation.

Deep sorry to hear what has happened to you. I'm in the same boat as you are not able to bear the pain..
When i read Deep's mail.i felt someone has written what has happened to me.

I did not want to tell this to anyone.. the mail which i wanted to send you all was i have delivered a baby boy/girl. but that did not happen....

I went for a scan on Sept 7th. the baby was perfectly fine and normal. The doctor showed me my baby's eyes to toes. It was just wonderful for a first time mom to see her child in her womb.. I was just toooooo happy..

On sept 8th i did not feel any moments during the day.. i thot probably my baby is sleeping or i was busy that i didnt notice the movements..since i didnt feel that evening i got scared and that night i was missing my heart beats...

I went for a scan on 9th and the scan was over in 5 mins.. He said he has spoken to my doctor and asked me to meet her..
I just cudnt control myself.even after requesting him he didnt say anything.... i met my gynacologist and she said... Control yourself.. there is a fetal death. i donno how to explain how i felt.I was shattered.Doctor told me that scan is 99% accurate.i said dont believe the scan.. pls test me again... how can something like this happen to a baby who was very fine just 2 days back.
There was one more scan taken and they said either ther is a cord around the neck of the baby or there is a knot in the cord.

I knew something was going wrong but the worst i expected was that the doctor would do a ceaserian and take a premature baby. it did not happen.
I told my doctor to do a ceasarian for me... But she convinced me and said she'd do a normal delivery for me keeping in mind my future pregnancies should not have any problem.

I got admitted and they induced labour for me. i did not get my pain.. I went thru a painful labor on 11th and delivered my baby on Sept 11th...I expected a boy and it was a boy. Doctor told me that there was no cord aroud the neck. Then i was very sure my baby was alive but he wasn't.

They showed me my son only for 2 mins. i was the one who was waiting to see him with all hopes and excitement but not for long.. He just resembled his father. He was a very normal healthy baby.. he weighed 1.75 kgs and i had just started my 8th month. My first child, my son has left us and decided to be with god..
I cudnt save my son..My son sacrificed his life to save his mother.

I got my reports and everything was normal. donno what went wrong and where.
Doctors told me what if i delivered my baby and he had some problem,I need to suffer my whole life to take care of him..She also assured i wont have any problem with my next pregnancy.We are just convincing,consoling ourselves and praying to god to give the strength and courage. When i pray to god, i also pray to my son as he's my god..

I pray to god that such a bad thing should never happen to anyone .

Love,
Divya.
Vindhya replied. Dear friends,

There are no words in the dictionary to console the loss, but all I can hope & pray is that you all will be blessed with beautiful babies soon.

Dear Divya,

Sorry to hear the loss of your little one and the reason being a mystery. I digged up my previous message posted on 9th of September to you. I don't know what it was, but I had been thinking about you that day, it seems like an unfortunate coincidence.

I remember chatting with you regarding diet & cyst and wondered why you never posted any message later. Sorry, I didn't know your situation. I know you are a worry-wart like me, but hope God has given enough courage to deal with it. Please have faith.

Take care,
With love,
Vindhya Deep replied. I'm in Bharatpur... its a small place in Rajasthan.. my husband's in the army and he's posted here these days...

Good to know that u work.. atleast u stay busy to keep ur mind away from negative thoughts...

you can mail me at dkburmi@hotmail(.)com if u like...

bye for now and God bless
Deep deep replied. Hi Divya... u know there's another Divya who i talk to who lost her twins..

anyways... ur right our stories seem so similar... Also I can totally relate to the part where you couldn't or didn't want to believe what the doctor said.. I too kept asking if they were absolutely sure... The thing is that death just so ultimate that one feels so helpless... At such times one feels that any kind of complication wud be easier to face but we know that that isn't easy either.
If you ever wanna talk I'm here.
Lots of love and best wishes
and, as one of the mother from the misscarriage and child loss board says, baby dust us all!!
Deep Simmi replied. Hello Divya. Really sorry to hear of your tragic loss. No words can make up for the pain you are going through but your courage and faith will see u through this emotinal time and I'm sure you will be blessed with a healthy baby real soon. God bless you.

Simmi